People have asked me where I come up with the names for the teams and coaches that I use so frequently in my musings...some of them actually require deep thought and other seemlessly roll off the tongue or pop into your head with little or no effort....I have collected some of my favorites here for your review....
SPARTY - Obviously, this isn't an original, but the legend of Sparty and what a Sparty is can be beaten to death. I like to think of Sparty as a little mole that occassionaly sticks his head up out of the ground so I can whack him back down...
SPARTY COACHES...There have been so many, and they were all fun to pick on...
Daontoio - The Italian Stallion...I like this one...."Yo, Adrian, should we bow down to the Wolverines or what??" With apologies to Sly Stallone...
JLS - John Losing Smith. That one is almost too easy, but even Sparty agreed with it.
Bobby "That's my Team?" Williams. As Michigan Fans, we loved Bobby. We really did....
Nick "Savior" Satan. The Savior of the program hung around just long enough for Sparty to believe they could actually make their way back to respectability, and then yanked the football away from them just like Lucy does to Charlie Brown...
CHEESEHEADS - One of my all time favorites, and not original....
GATORLAND - Where Gator Fans live and believe that everything first revolves around Florida, and then it revovles around the SEC...
Urban Legend Oscar Mayer Whiner - MMQ Original...This one has changed over the years...at first, he was just Urban Legend, as he was a legend in his own mind...but then he became Oscar Mayer Whiner after last year's crying to get in the National Title Game...Lloyd was too much of a gentleman to stoop to that level...Dammit....
SUCKEYES - enough Said....
Jim "The Sweater Vested Troll" Tressel..MMQ Original. He's a troll that lives down south and I think he was born with that sweater vest on...
Super Cooper - Yes, we all miss the Cooper Days...Where is John, anyway???
DOMERS - Jeez I Hate These Guys! Now, some of the more observant readers will note that I always type that after Domers...Jeez I hate these guys....You have to understand that as a Michigan Fan, you must hate this team. They are compare to us too much, they are not - lately anyway - that good, and they SNUBBED the Big 10's offer to join the conference, which would have made them a better team. Then they got their own television contract that we all hope NBC is choking on now....There are so many reasons to list, but whenever you see Domers, well, you know....
Charlie "Wuzzles" Weis and Charlie "The Weasel" Weis...This is the same guy. He just looks like two guys when he's walking around....He's Wuzzles when he's acting all cute for the camera after a Domer win and he's the Weasel now....
Tyrone "Losingham" - I felt sorry for "Losingham" getting the bum's rush out of South Bend, but there were obviously much deeper issues as to why he got canned...Read Pat Forde at ESPN.com for his take on the reason why the "Scourge of Humanity" was unjustly dismissed from DomerLand...
CornSuckers - MMQ Original. Yeah, I know it's obvious, but the name fits...
Bill Callahan - Doesn't really need a nick name...He just sucks...
The Great and Powerful OZ - Heeeeeeee's BACK! The Great and Powerful Oz has returned to Husker Nation to lead the Huskers back to greatness.....Maybe....
LMU - Les Miles University - Just kind of works, you know?
Alabama - Crimson Satan - Red goes well on Nick Satan, don't you think?
Nittany Kitty Kats - JoPa has them tame and we beat them every year, just like the
Northwestern Purple Kittys - They suck too....
Auburn Kittys and Tommy Two-tone....Tubberville gets the Two-tone nod for the two tones he uses to talk to the press....mono and mono....
Georgia Puppy Dogs and Richy Rich....Mark Richt...Come on, Richy Rich was easy...He even kind of looks like him...
The Okie Dokie Laters and Stupor: Bob Stoops - love him, but that name!!!
Texas Shorthorns and the Mack Attack: Mack Brown. Class act.
USC Rubbers. Yeah - I know...but you come up with a better one.
Oregon State Beavers: That's their name. REALLY!!!!
West Virginia Mount'em and Leave'em boys.....Not very flattering, I know, coached by Ricky Ricardo....
Oh, The Zooky things you will do in Zookyland!!! (Champagne, Illinois) Just sounds like a Dr. Suess word...
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Tennessee Cremesicles....Hunter Orange and white for colors....
Miami Gangstas - when they were good....
One of my all time Favorites:
HOKIES: I don't need to make one up here. A Virginia Tech HOKIE is a Tom Turkey that has been de-testicled. Now, I hate to point fingers at people, but if you're going to be known as a Turkey, wouldn't you at least want to be known as a Turkey with Balls????
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