Monday, September 22, 2014

Ute'd....Where to From Here?

Have I mentioned that I miss Bill Martin and Rich Rod?

Do you think Rich Rod and Al Borges are laughing their asses off right now?
Can anyone remember the last two “Big Games” where Michigan couldn’t score an offensive TD?  Much less get into the Red Zone?

And finally….Where to From Here?

I hate it when Michigan Football is reduced to “Spoiler” status before we’ve even thought about flipping the calendar to October.  Granted, I had stated in the pre-season spectacular that seeing Utah on the schedule made me nervous.  They are, as game day put it, “Brilliantly coached by one of the most innovative and dangerous minds in the game today.”  Why is it that Michigan is always playing an “innovative and dangerous mind” and seems to be coached by a baboon that won’t admit to not having a clue?  Why do I refer to Brady Hoke in this fashion?  Because of the Punt for a TD on Saturday….

In case you missed it on, there was a question by mgoblog to Hoke during his weekly presser regarding the spread punt.  Here’s the link.  If you don’t want to read the article, a summary:  Spread punting more or less puts more “Gunners” on the field, 4 to be exact, and college rules allow this.  As a result, NCAA PUNT RETURN YARDAGE HAS DROPPED DRAMATICALLY over the last three to four seasons and the punt return for a TD has been all but eliminated. asked Hoke why Michigan hadn’t gone to the 4-Gunner spread punt, based on the data.  Hoke’s response, “What’s a spread-punt?”  Again – The screams inside my head are very loud and I truly hope they stay there…you know, in my head.  And for his sake, Hoke and the special teams unit better figure it out quickly and adopt the formation sooner rather than later…

So, an MMQ prediction came true on Saturday and Michigan lost.  Yes, the B1G is still out there, but if anyone who has been watching this team still believes in that fantasy, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn, NY, I’d like to sell you.  This team is further away this season than they were last season, even though they’re moving the ball between the 20’s.  Once again, Michigan “Out-Statted” it’s opponent.  More total yards.  But MORE Turnovers and NO SCORES…. IF you can’t score, you’ve got problems.

And I now believe, but hate to admit, that Gardener is a big part of the problem.   His turnovers were awful…I mean, they were gut-wrenchlingly awful….And yes, I would call that “Crapping the Bed” awful that I alluded to last week.  I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.  Therefore:  Enter Morris.  I really don’t think Hoke has a choice at this point but to at least demonstrate that he’s willing to try something else…Anything else to rectify the offensive woes that plague this team.  But Morris isn’t going to immediately fix the odorous pile of excrement that is Michigan Football on offense.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Speight get a rep or two against Minnesota this weekend, either. 

IS Hoke to blame at this point?  He took action and fired Borges and brought in Nuss.  So, he knew he had issues on offense.  How long do you give people before you pull the trigger?  I guess I give Hoke all the time he needs until the next loss that isn’t Sparty.  In other words, every game from here to Sparty is a “Must Win” for Hoke if he has any chance of surviving the season.  Gophers, Scarlet Knights, and yes, Penn State is even a must win at this point.  Sparty is going to be an ass whoopin' of the worst kind and I don’t want to think about that yet.  Brandone, behind his verbal “outward support” of Hoke should be thinking about replacements. 

The MMQ already is.  Upon a whole bunch of reflection on Sunday and realizing that not dealing with the issue may be a bigger deal from an AD perspective, I have to believe that Brandone has to be putting together a list…or at least dusting off the old one from the Rich Rod Fiasco….I reviewed my list along with some lessons learned:

  1. Be decisive.  If you’re going to can the coach, do it quickly and get the new guy in so as not to lose recruits.  Screw the $3M buy-out…You’re losing fans at a much higher rate than that…
  2. Firing mid-season accomplishes nothing, but in the case of recruits doubting whether or not a head coach can make it after the season, sometimes it’s wise to just do it.
  3. HAVE A FRIGGIN’ IDEA of who you’re going to go after and then do it.
So, instead of re-hashing a game that was over in the 3rd quarter, I’m dusting off my list of potentials and starting a “Watch List” for future candidates.  Maybe Brandone reads the MMQ during or after lunch on Mondays….This will give him a head start.

Cam Cameron (Odds:  75-1):  LSU is in a rebuilding year, but the offense made a huge comeback on Saturday against MSU….Cam’s been a guy the MMQ has been watching for quite a while and I believe would make a decent coach at Michigan, even though he didn’t fare that well as a head coach at Miami at the NFL level…He was considered a brilliant offensive mind at the NFL level and is a young 53.  But is he the “Coach in Waiting” at LSU?

Scott Schafer (Odds:  150-1):  Before you rip my head off for suggesting that we bring back one of the worst defensive coordinators to ever wear the Maize and Blue, please consider that Coach Schafer was being asked to run a defense without much in the way of personnel in a scheme (the dreaded 3-3-5) that he had never coached before.  He’s done a pretty good job at Syracuse and I can’t help but wonder if Brandone hasn’t been paying attention and thinking to himself that he let Rich Rod fire a pretty good guy and perhaps better coach….

Jim Harbaugh (Odds:  200-1):  I now I said he’d never be the Head Coach of the Maize and Blue….But you never say never in this business.  And those odds are falling with each game that San-Fran loses.  And they’ve lost two in a row by failing to score in the 2nd half.  At 1-2, the Niners are by no means out of the NFC play-off picture or anything, but it’s the way they’re losing and Jimmy’s relationship with the front office that make this an interesting watch.

Kevin Wilson (Odds:  300-1):  I really liked this hire by Indiana when they made it.  He’s coached with some of the best and he’s turning it around in Bloomington.  Yes, Michigan would be poaching from one of its own in-conference, but I could easily get over that if this were to somehow happen…

Kyle Whittingahm (Odds:  500-1):  The Brilliant Mind coach that just beat you…I mean, why not?  I’d at least talk to him…

Greg Schiano (Odds:  ????-1):  Bill Martin interviewed the Big East coach of the month as part of his search.  Schiano went to the NFL and didn’t fare well at Tampa Bay…Seeing as how Schiano is in a TV studio somewhere, he’s probably available and looking for an opportunity.  And Rutgers doesn’t want him back, so who knows…

It’s a short list for the time being.  But these are definitely guys I would be making phone calls to people and trying to learn more about each individual.

The Rest of the Mess

Huh…If I’m not mistaken…The B1G fared pretty well on Saturday.  Iowa won on the road….Indiana went on the road and knocked off a top 20 team…Nebraska took care of business against Miami (the good one) but not before a bunch of their fans got arrested for throwing beer cans at a tour busand trying to flip it over…Northwestern chalked up its first win…Purdue won…So, if I’m doing the MATH RIGHT, Michigan was the only team to lose in the entire B1G…Well That’s Fantastic and makes for a wonderful Monday….

Satan’s Warriors pretty much destroyed Gatorland and sealed the fate of Muschamp.  Right now, it’s a tie for the 1 spot on the Hot Seat between Hoke and Muschamp with the latter holding an ever so slight edge…Why?  ‘Cause it’s the SEC…That’s why…

Don’t worry about the Quack Attack only beating WSU by a TD late…They were on the road and Leach has proven he can coach a Big Game against a big opponent more often than once.  Survive and move on.  The Ducks are fine and still in my top 4…

The Laters also went on the road to Morgantown which can be an impossible place to win.  But win they did and I’m still keeping them in the top 4….

The Winston-less ‘Noles hung on to beat Clemson in a game that Clemson should have won…Dabo Swinney might be sitting on the hot seat today as he continues to lose big games and can’t seem to get over the hump….

Miss State really blew out LSU, but the Tigers again made a late comeback similar to what they did to Wiscy earlier in the season.  But they couldn’t close the deal.  Again, watch Cam Cameron on this team…

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1.  Denial and Isolation:  Mizzou Fan has this one….They are trying to figure out how they lost to a B1G team and are grasping to the hope that they can run the SEC East Table and win the SEC Championship….
  2. ANGER:  Gatorland…This wasn’t supposed to happen this year with everyone healthy.  But Michigan’s Mirror in the SEC has a Coach and a QB problem.  Driscoll simply doesn’t perform on Saturday and that’s a problem….
  3. Bargaining:  Sparty destroying EMU for style points proving the B1G deserves one of the 4 seats…Sorry, Sparty.  I think the committee is onto you…
  4. Depression:  Michigan fans…September B1G Spoilers at 2-2.  Even if they could run the table from here…That would depress me more…
  5. Acceptance: Perdon’t, Iowa, Northwestern, Michigan, and Tennessee….

The MMQ’s Top 10

Definitely a couple of stunners over the weekend.  And one impacting the top 4:

  1. Texas A&M – is the team with the lowest percentage to hang in the top 4
  2. FSU- this probably won’t change much until the Louisville game…
  3. Oregon – Mariota for Heismann…Just cause…
  4. Oklahoma – cruised over the Cremesicles…
  5. Satan’s Warriors – I don’t believe they will be here at the end, but for now, I’ve got to put an SEC team in here…
  6. Sparty – we have to keep them in the Top 10 or there’s no shot at the FF.
  7. Baylor – It’ll be one of these two coming out of the BigXI
  8. UCLA – It’s been ugly…I’m not sure how good the Pac12 is now..
  9. Auburn
  10. This hurts…domers… 
Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-I don’t like spreads that move this much…
-Vegas knows something…
-Weather not looking good.
-But is that Good for Michigan?
-IF the ground game is going, yeah…
-Moving up and down the field…just can’t score.
-Stop turning the ball over!
-Defense scores…That’s always a plus.
-But offense has to do something…
-Enter Morris…
-And another turnover…
-Can’t blame the Defense….Too much
-What’s with Hoke and Mattison?
-At least Hoke is showing some emotion..
-Too much too little too late?
-Mattison for head coach?
-Hmmm…Too old.
-Nuss is too new….
-But something has to happen.
-This is not a Michigan Team…
-This is still an aberration…..
-An embarrassment…
-A crap-storm of problems with no solutions in sight…
-Hoke needs to win from now till Sparty…
-And probably win all the rest after Sparty to ohio….
-If he wants to survive…

The Hot Seat

Genevieve Morton literally walked away with the voting last week and you can bet that the MMQ will be spending a lot more time looking for Hot Seat Mascot’s as that will be a helluva lot more interesting than following Michigan Football.  This week’s mascot:  Hannah Furgeson!

Hot Seat Rank
  1. Will Muschamp:  Was not competitive against Bama…
    1. Brady Hoke – It’s probably going to happen…Sad…
  2. Charlie Weis:  Why are they keeping Wuzzles around?  Just cause? 
  3. Hazell:  At least Purdue scored against the domers….
  4. Beckman:  He’s got problems….
  5. Norm Chow:  Hawaii.  The Rainbows haven’t mattered in a while.and that’s a fan base that cares.
  6. Mike London:  Needs wins…
  7. Sonny Dykes:  California was pretty good for a while….Wha’ happened?

Well, opposite week was a great idea except for a couple of the games.  The FMQ needs a new strategy….maybe not betting Michigan would help, also.  I’ve only gotten them right once this season.

Iowa @ Pitt (-7):  Take Iowa and the 7 for $30
WIN!!  Bank $57
Miami (not Ohio) @ Nebraska (-7):  Take Nebraska and lay the 7 for $20
WIN!!  Bank $38
Clemson (+21) @ FSU:  Take Clemson and the 21 for $30
WIN!!! Bank $57
Gatorland @ Satan’s WarriorsTake Satan’s Warriors and lay the 14 for $40
WIN!!! Bank $76
Laters @ Mounaineers (+7):  Take the Laters and lay the 7 for $20
WIN!!! Bank $38
Sparty (-45) vs. Hurons:  Take the Hurons and the 45 for $20
Yoots @ Michigan (-3.5):  Take Michigan and lay the 3.5 for $40
LOSE…..Fire Hoke….
Starting Bank:           $623
Total Win:                  $266

Bank:                          $889

Friday, September 19, 2014

FMQ - Yoots Friday....

A lot has happened this week and it’s difficult to pick a place to start.

Let’s start with this:  The Big 10 and how it feels right now…Wolverine fans drinking heavily to avoid the further pain we all know is coming….brutus is beating his head against the wall after losing at home to a team that then lost to Eastern/southern/ northern Carolina (Arrrrgh….Love me some Pirates!)  Northwestern fans pulling their hair out and who’s coach when asked if he understood the fan’s angry and disappointed reaction to the 0-3 record responded with a “dance around the issue answer”.  Oh wait, no he didn’t!

It’s that kind of brutal honesty with the press that I wish some other coaches would display, especially around Ann Arbor.  Yeah, we suck.  But we’re working on it and I know we can fix it.  Because, this, this and this.  That’s kind of refreshing and why it makes it hard to even begin to hate a guy like Fitzgerald.  And if he could stop bleeding purple long enough to wear the Maize and Blue, I’d take him in a heart beat.

Tom Brady’s Resume.  Looks like he was prepared in the event that he didn’t get drafted!  And as Tom admitted himself, after the 5th round came and went, he figure his resume was going to come in handy. 

Uh, Tom....About that gap from 1999 to 2014...

What is it about the NFL that simply doesn’t give guys like Touchdown Tommy a chance (until they do get a shot) vs. guys like Joey Harrington, Chuck Long and Andre Ware (who we pretty much all know were NOT NFL caliber QB’s) and makes those names into instant, overnight millionaires?  Yeah…If I’m an NFL owner, I’m questioning the system and the wisdom of drafting a QB high and not only knowing that I’m going to be forced to pay the guy, but I’ve got to play him pretty quickly as well.  Otherwise, I’ve got so much cap money tied up in a non-playing offensive player that I’m giving up on the season…Screwed up system, if you ask me.  I think there’s gotta be a better way…I’m just not sure what that way is.  Gotta be a lot of QB's out there that could perform in the NFL but don't get a shot...what a shame...

I’d love to chime in on the Jameis W thing…but what more can really be said?  It was dumb, FSU chickened out of a real punishment vs. a shot at the National Title, and nothing has really changed in Tallahassee. 

K-State kind of screwed up and while there are no moral victories, you really wish they would have capitalized on some of those red zone trips against Auburn to simply take one more SEC team out of the mix….

Tomorrow is a big day for the University of Michigan.  If they win, it will be what they were supposed to do (Even though the MMQ Pre-Season Spectacular has Michigan LOSING THIS GAME!) as they are now only a 3.5 point favorite over what opened up as a 7 point line….That’s a lot of movement on a college game….And that makes the FMQ nervous…

Speaking of nervous, I almost had an O-Fer last week…But one game was right.  Meaning, that it’s time for “OPPOSITE WEEK!!!”  In other words, whatever I “Think” I should do, Ima’ gonna’ do the exact opposite and not look back.  If I’d done that last week, I would have been 6-1 vs. 1-6.

Let’s get on to the Picks!

Iowa @ Pitt (-7):  First instinct:  lay the 7 and take a strong looking Pitt team to crush Iowa.  Iowa seems to be a disaster in all aspects of the game…but opposite week, so

Take Iowa and the 7 for $30

Miami (not Ohio) @ Nebraska (-7):  Here, I’m really tempted to take the Hurricanes and the points because the Cornsuckers nearly lost to McNeese State and I’m losing confidence in Pelini…Opposite Week:

Take Nebraska and lay the 7 for $20

Clemson (+21) @ FSU:  Even before Jameis got laid off for the 1st half (See, I’m thinking it’s going to come out that JW is on a payroll somewhere) I was thinking that The ‘Noles were going to cover this easy…But (Do you see where this is going?) 

Take Clemson and the 21 for $30

Gatorland @ Satan’s Warriors:  Hmmm…I had a feeling about this game earlier in the week, changed my mind, and changed it again.  Now I’m not ever sure which way I was leaning in the first place.  But I do believe Gators can keep it close…oops, Opposite Week:

Take Satan’s Warriors and lay the 14 for $40

Laters @ Mounaineers (+7):  Any time a team is getting points at home in a conference game is usually a time I will say, “Yeah, gimme some points and the home dog!”  But, this game is weird and Oklahoma has been 3-0 ATS this year….I simply can’t go opposite week here….But I know I’m going to pay for this…

Take the Laters and lay the 7 for $20

Sparty (-45) vs. Hurons:  I have to bet this game because there’s too many Sparty’s and Huron Graduates that read the post.  Yeah, I’m taking the Snyder approach here and honoring the Hurons by referring to the old nick name and not the new one…Call it Throw Back Friday…And because I think Sparty wins this walking away…The Hurons cover, I hope, because “opposite week”…

Take the Hurons and the 45 for $20

Yoots @ Michigan (-3.5):  This line has moved more than a Gypsy Caravan during deer camp in Northern Michigan…If Gypsy caravans visited deer camps in Michigan…Still, I think I like the Yoots getting points because when a line moves that much, the wise guys know something…Aw, Crap on a Cracker….opposite week…

Take Michigan and lay the 3.5 for $40

Starting Bank:           $823
Total Bet:                   $200

Bank:                          $623

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Wednesday Morning - I've Calmed Down....

I see that I got your attention.  Yes, that’s one of the first times I think I’ve “lost” it after a fairly sizable victory, but I am not getting on the student athletes as some of you have stated, among other things.  Yes I was angry and I kind of had a “Mike Valenti” rant….But here’s the thing:

…So, in order to better understand my frustration and address some of the feedback, I figured I’d do a quick review of e-mail and texts because people that read the blog are still “comments” section challenged and I don’t respond to e-mails and texts at all times:

Don’t tell me you were one of the people booing….

Yes, I booed.  I paid good money for season tickets and, ergo, I’ve paid for the right to do that.  BUT MY BOOS WERE NOT DIRECTED AT THE ATHLETES!

I would never boo a college athlete that’s busting his hump for 25-30 hours a week to play any sport.  But the coaching situation is horrendous and the stretch in the 2nd quarter that I commented on left the fans who were there incredibly frustrated.  Call it a long overdue release of emotion by a lot of people.

I can’t believe you don’t think Gardener is a major part of the problem.  Shane looked good.  Why not give him a shot in a game that doesn’t matter as much as the B1G games matter?

The most popular guy on the team is the 2nd string QB when the starting QB doesn’t look as sharp as he should or doesn’t look as good as he did last season/game/whatever and the offense isn’t producing.   Gardener is a 5th year Senior.  Sooner or later, that will pay a dividend.  Trust me.  You don’t want Shane Morris out there making Soph mistakes in critical games…Unless Devin really starts crapping the bed.  Then, kiss the season good-bye, but firing Hoke becomes a little more challenging if you throw Shane in and he’s bad because Shane’s mistakes will be more about him and less about Hoke.

Not that this compares, but I’ve coached kids from kindergarten on up through 8th grade.  And there’s one thing I’ve learned:  As a coach, you see a lot more than the fans/parents because you’ve been working with these kids a lot more during the week in non-game settings.  You get to see all the little things they are doing  right and wrong and you have to, at times, bust your butt as a coach to get them to un-learn the dumb things they are doing in order to teach them the proper techniques. 

What’s interesting, at least to me, is that once you get the kids that you know will respond well and are “coachable”, there’s actually a lot you can do with them as a coach in certain sports where tactics and strategy, ball control or clock management, for example, is at stake.  Basketball, even at the younger level, has some strategy to it.  When we were playing better teams, I encouraged my girls to WAIT FOR THE BEST SHOT AND WORK THE OFFENSE.  When we were playing inferior teams, we were trying to score and score often. 

In soft ball, I also watched an upper level coach take a bunch of ball busters…er, hitters, that weren’t the “fleetest of foot” and tried to turn them into bunters “Because you have to be able to play small-ball at this level!”  Well, yeah, but guess what?  I took those same ball busters the next season and let them swing away most of the time and we went undefeated and pretty deep in the play-offs….

Where am I going with this?  Devin, I believe, will respond well to coaching once he has the new system under his belt.  We need to give him some time and it will come.  BUT THE COACHES ALSO have a responsibility to not force square pegs into round holes and coach to the players ability vs. driving a “We’re going to run the ball because we’re Michigan” down the players throats…That never works and I hope this coaching staff learned that with Denard.  Al Borges hated having to do the things Denard did well, but once he accepted it, Michigan’s offense in 2011 excelled.  I mean, if you can get a cat to do this…..

‘Nuff said.

Do you really think Michigan should fire Hoke and who are they going to get?  Like you said, Harbaugh’s not coming….

Well, I may have been a little short sighted with my “Fire Hoke” rant on Monday.  But everyone else on the internet and in the blogosphere seems to agree with me.  

While I agree that firing someone may not be the best or only solution, and it “seems” like Hoke is trying to do the right things and get the right pieces of the puzzle in place, there have been multiple problems.  But he’s trying to do it right.  I do believe that.  It just might all be over his head, that's all.   Putting it simply, its Strategy AND Tactics.  He’s not doing either very well right now and other are people seeing it.  And the tactics should be easy to fix.

Tactics:  if he corrects these things in the short term, he will at least demonstrate a capacity for change and managing the College Game today:

1.    Get rid of the huddle.  Watch any college game.  No one is using it, or some teams use but seldomly.
2.    Please put on a headset.  Your coaches are seeing things all the time and you can add insight to the game situation (via your vast experience) if you’re staying current with what the people upstairs are seeing. And you can chime in with critical info if needed.
3.    LEARN TO MANAGE A GAME CLOCK!  Saturday was not Hoke’s first issue with managing time outs and field position. 
4.    Snap the ball with at least 15 or more seconds on the play clock if you’re “behind” on the score, or not up by a comfortable amount.  At the domers, Michigan was still using up extraordinary amounts of time in the 2nd half with no sense of urgency.

That’s a short list.  There’s more….

Strategy:  Hoke talks about winning, but is it talk?  I mean, there should be a plan and the BS you here about “”We’re taking it a week at a time” is just that – BS.  There should be a plan for each practice, game, and the overall season, which, again, I’m sure there is, but does it have the depth it needs to achieve your goals?  There’s practice management, game management, and season management.  Hoke showed VERY POOR DECISION MAKING with respect to the season by leaving Gardener and Funchess in on the last, futile drive of the domer game, long after any goals Michigan had for that game went down the tubes….  Again, almost a fire-able offense.  And if he’s making dumb decisions in that regard…well, I’m not entirely sure he has a clue about managing the season strategy any better.  So, I need to see vast improvement there as well.

About that replacement:  As I stated in last Friday’s entry, there’s a list of coaches I would trade with right now.  But we all know that good head coaches aren’t going ANYWHERE and bad ones are readily available, but who wants a bad one?  My thinking at this point is to put together what you want on paper and go from there.  In other words, “What is the profile of the last 10 National Champs?”  And before you just say, “Bama and the SEC”, which aren’t bad answers, I’d put together a matrix of each of the head coaches, coordinators and anyone else that’s been around those programs and starting asking around as to who might have what it takes to be a “Head Coach”.  But, no, I really don’t want to start thinking about this now….not again.  

I would advise that you watch this weekend’s coach on the opposite sideline who I actually shaded in green  (On the Coach Swap Matrix) but has been having some issues as of late.  Kyle Whittingham’s Utah Utes have been the victim of injuries the last couple of seasons, but before that, he was producing some very good teams in Utah (granted – they were WAC then), one that in fact went undefeated and beat Alabama in a Sugar Bowl.  He’s now juggling a PAC12 schedule and needs to get the program personnel and players up to that speed – and keep them healthy, but he’s proven he can do it….Just sayin’.  It'll be very interesting if Utah wins Saturday....Very Interesting indeed...

Where does that leave Michigan?  Who knows, man…Who Knows…

 Dave Brandone - Asleep Style....

….But I am more depressed and this stopped being fun a while ago.  Not the blogging part…but Michigan Football is not as much fun as it used to be.  It seems like I apologize for the lousy excuse of performance on the field or have to deal with crap from just about everyone…It’s almost easier to not admit to being a Michigan fan in the fall.  I’m seriously identifying more with the Hoops team and coaching staff more and more….Even the crowd energy level for the Miami game (that everyone knew was a cupcake) was less than what it usually is.  The AD better take a good look around and realize that by being the “Fun Police” in the student section and forcing “fun down our throats” at higher ticket prices with PSL’s to boot….well, expect to see a lot more of this….

Miami At Kick-Off

Monday, September 15, 2014

WTF??? And I Don't Mean: Well That's Fantastic!

I have to say that I’m never quite sure what will come out on Monday Morning, even after I’ve attended a game or watched it on the tube.  I usually take Sunday to reflect and think about things in order to not simply be a RANTING, RAVING LUNATIC on Monday morning, so people will actually see that I have some intelligence and can put together a logical, cohesive review of the events that transpired on Saturday.  However, on Saturday afternoon in a NOT PACKED (Sections of the Big House were completely empty – no WAY there was 102K in attendance) stadium with approximately a minute left in the 2nd quarter, the logical side of my brain combined with the emotion filled Maize and Blue side of my brain and came to a point of acute clarity:  With exactly 1:17 left in the 2nd Quarter, I realized this-

Brady Hoke needs to be fired.

Again, I’m not saying today.  That accomplishes nothing.  But, I think we need to review the end of the 2nd quarter in detail.  I’m putting the play-by-play in here so you can re-live the gut wrenching, excruciating agony we were all going through as fans at that particular moment in time.

Michigan gets the ball on their own 47 yard line with 3 and change on the game clock, up 7 points.  There had been turnovers earlier in the 2nd quarter and that was building up all the fan’s frustration, but I said out loud to the crowd around me:  “OK.  This is good.  Put together some sort of scoring drive and take some momentum into the locker room for halftime.”  Folks, Miami has not won a game in their last 18 tries.  A hurry-hurry, up tempo offense with Michigan’s athletes should be able to shred the Miami defense for an easy score.  Plain and simple.

But no….Michigan, on first and 10, with three time-outs remaining, huddled.  The ball was snapped on that first down with less than 10 seconds on the play clock.  Meaning:  Michigan wasted approximately 30 seconds of valuable game clock in the huddle and coming up to the line of scrimmage.  Then, on 2nd down….Michigan huddled.  And snapped the ball AGAIN with less than 10 seconds on the play clock!!!!  Finally, Michigan huddled, RAN AGAIN and, mercifully got a first down which stopped the clock with under 1:40 left in the half.  That’s nearly a 2:00 waste of game time….


With each second that ticked off the game clock, my brain began to emotionally lose control.  The logical side of my mind initially looked at the time left and said, “Yeah, OK, don’t score too quickly and leave them time to score. Get down into scoring position and then kill some clock…”  Now, Michigan had squandered away nearly a minute and 40 seconds of precious clock, and still had all 3 TO’s on the board.  I believe this is when I snapped, and my moment of clarity arrived. 

Brady Hoke needs to be fired.  This is a FIRE-ABLE offense.


Not only was the opportunity wasted, it gets worse.  Devin throws an incomplete on 1st down and Michigan RUNS ON 2ND DOWN and uses a TO with 1:17 left.  Now, I was really irked, but at least someone was thinking about the clock.  After another pass where Canteen couldn’t stretch for the 1st down, Michigan tried to hurry to the line for a quick 4th down snap, but instead Miami calls a 0:30 TO to insure they were ready for what was coming.  And what does Michigan do instead of using that TO to plan an Elvis Grbac to Desmond Howard 4th down type play, they try to FOOL MIAMI into jumping off-sides!  If that wasn’t the most “CHICKEN-EXCREMENT” plan and play-call I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is…You have the athletes – USE THEM!  Take a SHOT, fergodsakes and build some confidence in your OFFENSE!  Even if you miss, YOU’VE SEEN TO IT THAT THERE’S less than a minute of game time left and the Miami offense isn’t that great…I’ll take my chances with my Defense…

After that 4th down “trickery” fails and Michigan gets penalized, I figured, “OK.  Settle down.  This isn’t so bad.  Now its 4th and 6 and I guess everyone on Michigan’s Elite Offensive Minded Coaching Staff was figuring, “Hey, we’re passing for the whole enchilada, anyway, so we tried to trick them and it didn’t work.  Let’s go run this play now and get into scoring position.” 

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO…..The Gutless Wonder (that would be Hoke), sends out the punt team with ball inside the 40 and a minute left on the clock!!!!

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  (The screams were in my head, but they were soooo loud!!!  At least, I hope they were in my head….)

And Michigan takes another delay of game and Hagerup ends up punting it into the end zone.  A complete waste of 3:27 to end the half.  The offense learned NOTHING!  The team achieved NOTHING except 11 total yards of offense.

And Hoke has proven to this fan that he’s completely incompetent and in over his head as the head coach of a major program – which I’m beginning to see Michigan is not – A major program.  They are just another college football team that is not exceptional…and not very good.

Brady Hoke needs to be fired.  I don’t care what happened for the rest of the game.  The point is, Michigan should have beaten Miami easily.  They did in the 2nd half.  But the time that TRULY COUNTED was that 3:27 in the 2nd quarter.  That, in this fan’s mind, is a microcosm, a snapshot in time, of what’s wrong with this team.

Does the Michigan staff watch college football today?  Do they even professs to have a clue as to what everyone else is doing?  Even the “Power Teams” that Michigan is trying to be like and emulate have more or less abandoned “the huddle”.  Bama, Stanford, all of them….It’s a dinosaur whose time has come and gone.  It’s a throwback to a time when 40-50 offensive plays a game were enough. 

College Football is about numbers.  And the simple way to look at it:  If I’m running 70-85 offensive plays to your 50 plays, I’ve got 50% again more chances that my offense is going to make something good happen because your defense is getting tired and CANNOT ONLY NOT KEEP PACE with my offense, BUT YOUR DEFENSE CAN’T PLAY PERFECTLY ALL THE TIME!  Advantage:  Up tempo, 70-85 play offenses over an offense trying to play perfectly and limit the number of plays they run on offense.

Please watch and if Hoke continues to huddle, you will know that the MMQ is slowly, steadily going down into the abyss of realizing that Michigan Football is never going to matter again.  Not as long as this guy is in charge.  Along with Brandone….always include Brandone in any firing discussion from now until eternity. 

I hope Brandone was in the Box and I hope he saw the empty stands (how couldn’t he?) and he heard the boos.  Fans paid good money to boo that series and this coaching staff…Be glad they were there to boo.  Next season, they might not be.  There won't be anyone to boo....

I miss Bill Martin and Rich Rod….

The Rest of the Mess

Va Tech did what you’re not supposed to do after slaying the dragon…They themselves got slayed…  East Carolina had the reputation and pulled off the upset.  Where to from here, Hokies?

Boston College ripped through the Rubbers easily with a strong, penetrating offensive line that took advantage of an in-experienced defensive line of USC….

Perdon’t did much better than Michigan and at least scored on the domers…But I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good or a bad team…the domers, I mean…

Iowa crapped the bed again against ISU and the dumpster fire known as the B1G conference is still ablaze….Ferentz has to be feeling some heat…

Penn State is the only undefeated team (after Nebraska) left in the B1G and it’s hard to fathom that a team that should still be digging itself out of a NCAA penalty hole could be vying for the whole enchilada come November…

Georgia looked so impressive against Clemson and then so anemic against the Ole Ball Coach’s Cocks…Mark Richt web-sites have gotten a re-surgence in internet hits and will start making the owners of those sites money again very soon…

The Hogs saved Beliema’s Bacon and cruised to an easy victory in Lubbock….

Muschamp will probably move back into the 1 spot after barely beating Kentucky and Stoops (not that one) in double OT.   Gator fans are growing restless….And Gatorland hasn’t mattered in a VERY LONG TIME in the SEC…

And last but not least, ohio treated their Macrifice exactly as you should treat them:   Like a baby treats a diaper.  They hung 66 on Kent State and held them to 0 on the other side of the ball.  Where’s that kind of utter destruction mind set in the Michigan “Goals and Objectives”???  Anyone?

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1.  Denial and Isolation:  I’m going to put Penn State here.  Yes, they are undefeated.  But its been UGLY.   Disappointment and anger will follow…Add UCLA to this list.
  2. ANGER:  Sorry USC Fans, Va-Tech fans can also step aside, not to mention Georgia Dawgs…The MMQ and the Michigan Faithful that had to witness that 2nd Quarter debacle in Ann Arbor on Saturday own this one.  You can have s spot here next week….
  3. Bargaining:  I’m sure there’s some Dawg fans here thinking that they’re not out of the SEC East race just yet, but it doesn’t look good for the National Title…even though they still believe there’s a chance…
  4. Depression:  Michigan fans…and probably some Va-Tech Hokies…Oh, and Iowa.  Can’t forget Iowa. 
  5. Acceptance: Perdon’t, Iowa, Northwestern, and Tennessee….

The MMQ’s Top 10

Definitely a couple of stunners over the weekend.  And one impacting the top 4:

  1.  FSU- this probably won’t change much until the Louisville game…
  2. Oregon – Mariota for Heismann…Just cause…
  3. Texas A&M – is the team with the lowest percentage to hang in the top 4
  4. Satan’s Warriors – I don’t believe they will be here at the end, but for now, I’ve got to put an SEC team in here…
  5. Oklahoma – cruised over the Cremesicles…
  6. Baylor – It’ll be one of these two coming out of the BigXI
  7. UCLA – It’s been ugly…I’m not sure how good the Pac12 is now..
  8. Sparty – we have to keep them in the Top 10 or there’s no shot at the FF.
  9. Auburn
  10. LSU – Back in because of attrition…
  11. This hurts…domers…
Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-So, Maryland loses…
-Another black eye on the B1G.
-Going to be a chilly one in the Big House.
-Weird temperature swings.
-Tailgate felt hot.
-Stadium is 15 degrees cooler…
-I hate screwy fall weather. 
-Be warm or cold
-One or the other.
-Here we go.  Miami should be easier than App State.
-At least, I think they should be easier.
-What are we doing on offense?
-Defense playing well. 
-No yards in 1st quarter for Miami…none to speak of, anyway.
-Michigan needs to learn how to score.
-Stop turning the ball over!!!
-Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy…
-Okay, up 7 with 3 and change on the 50. 
-Let’s drive this down and punch it in.
-Mo-mo at half-time is a good thing.
-What are they doing?
-This is pathetic…
-Are you kidding me?  We are trying to FAKE MIAMI into jumping offsides?
-Brady Hoke…needs to be fired.
-I’ve been blind too long…not anymore.
-I hate where this has to go before it can get better.
-I’m getting too old to go through it all over again..

The Hot Seat

The last Hot Seat Poll was pre-maturely pulled (accidentally) by the MMQ but Emily was the only Mascot who received any votes.  So, by default, she’s in the finals….This week’s beauty is just that:  A Beauty from Sports Illustrated swimsuit fame with rather large…er…Tracks of Land, Genevieve Morton!

Hot Seat Rank
  1. Will Muschamp:  You must DESTROY KENTUCKY…not just beat them
  2. Brady Hoke:  He will be in the 1 spot when he loses to Sparty….
  3. Hazell:  At least Purdue scored against the domers….
  4. Beckman:  He’s got problems….
  5. Charlie Weis:  Why are they keeping Wuzzles around?  Just cause? 
  6. Pelini:  Just beating McNeese State makes for a hard week…
  7. Norm Chow:  Hawaii.  The Rainbows haven’t mattered in a while.and that’s a fan base that cares.
  8. Mike London:  Needs wins…
  9. Sonny Dykes:  California was pretty good for a while….Wha’ happened?
  10. Brett Bielema:  Got a nice one in Lubbock…


UCLA (-7.5) @ Texas:  Take UCLA and lay the 7.5 for $30
USC @ BC (+17.5):  Take BC and the 17.5 for $30
WIN!  Bank $57 and why didn’t I bet more?
Syracuse @ Central (+7):  Take the Chips and the 7 for $40
LOST….Why did I bet so MUCH?
Louisville (-7) @ Virginia:  Take Louisville and lay the 7 for $20
LOSE…This is not going well…
Wyoming @ the Ducks (-43):  Take the Ducks and lay the 43 for $30
LOSE…Oh Jeez…what have I done?  I need to slap myself again…
PSU @ Rutgers (+3): Take Rutgers and the 3 for $20.
LOSE…See where this is going?  If I take points next week, I will get killed
Tennessee (+21) @ Oklahoma:  Take Cremesicles and the 21 for $20
LOSE…OMG!!!  This is BAD….
Miami (not that one) @ Michigan (-31):  Take Michigan and lay the points for $30
LOSE….Fire Hoke
PARLAY!!!  3-way pays 6 to 1. 
Take Central – BC – Ducks for $20 - LOSE

Starting Bank:         $778
Total Win:                 $57

Bank:                         $823