BOWL SELECTION

The Bowls Are In

Wow. I didn’t think it would happen again…but it did. This reminds me of Auburn and Nebraska…The BCS has failed us – Again. Sort of. I doubt it will get better any time soon. A team that was beat by another team is going to the National Title game over the team that deserved the shot via head to head match-up.

I am still trying to digest this whole Laters – Shorthorns Conundrum. My mind simply cannot process the information. Texas marched through the heart of their schedule defeating 4 top 10 teams and another one ranked in the top 25 only to lose on a last second play to Tex Tech in Tech’s house….They beat the Laters by 10 on a neutral field…And they are going to the Fiesta Bowl as the runner up in the Big 12. To Play OSU. Which I am sure they will be favored over. Which means that even if they crush the Suckeyes and Oklahoma beats a good Florida team, well, do they use the same logic and give the nod to the Laters because they won better later with more style points?

I am beginning to wonder if the Big 12 is now making amendments to their North-South Charter and trying to put together better solutions if this dilemma should ever rear its ugly head again. I am sure somewhere, this scenario was presented as a what if, but everyone figured it was too remote to be worried about.

Anyway, does this get us any closer to a true National Champion in College Division 1A? Nope. My guess is the AP splits the vote if the Laters and Shorthorns both win. And they should until this mess is cleaned up. Make it controversial and keep everyone talking and no one satisfied….

The Rest of the Mess

LATERS vs. MIZZOU: It was a game in the first half, then the LATERS just started pounding and pounding. Chase Daniel and company just couldn’t stay with these guys…

SATAN vs. GATORLAND: This one was actually closer than I expected, frankly. I really thought Gatorland, Tee-Bone and Urban Legend would make it a rout to insure the nod for the title game. Satan’s Tide hung tough, but the Gator D was too much.

HOKIES vs. BC: Hokies win, thus ensuring that the Orange Bowl will include another double digit BCS ranking team. That one will be fun to watch….

USC vs. UCLA: Pete Carroll and the Rubbers can’t seem to get any style points against their cross town rivals. They ought to think about rescheduling them earlier in the year…

BCS STANDINGS:

1. LATERS: Really? Lose to another team in your own division and play for the National Title? All Right! Why doesn’t the Big Ten have divisions yet? Oh yeah, because the DOMERS SUCK! (Jeez, I HATE THESE GUYS!)
2. GATORLAND : Who will Tee-Bone Vote for with his Heismann vote? Do you really think there’s a question here?
3. SHORTHORNS: Don’t make the title game, even though they beat number 1…Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. I REALLY LIKE THIS SYSTEM!
4. SATAN’S Warriors: Swapped spots with Florida. Have fun with your gimme win against the UTES…
5. RUBBERS: Oregon State Cost you guys big time…They really did….And the thing is, you don’t even get to improve yourself by beating Penn State…
6. UTAH UTES: Well, this should be interesting. Alabama will crush these guys…This will be the highest point value in my bowl selection pool…
7. Tex Tech: One bad loss can do a lot of damage…
8. PSU: Joe Pa has to beat the Rubbers and Pete Carrol..Good luck with that.
9. Boys’ State: They don’t deserve the bowl they got…
10. Suckeyes: Back to the Fiesta and Texas. Can the Vest win a big one?


IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. You gotta like the Army-Navy opening ceremonies. I don’t care who you are.
2. Oklahoma is REALLY GOOD…
3. Tee-Bone will make a good pro – but will he come out if the Lions are drafting first?
4. Chase Daniel’s stock has gone down. I don’t remember him throwing that many INT’s ever….
5. Bradford is good…And he’s only a Sophomore…Look out for the Laters for a couple of years.
6. What happens to the great College QB’s when they get to the Pro’s? I mean, are defenses at that level just that much faster/better? Anyone?
7. Is Tee-Bone done? I mean, assuming they beat the Laters – is he done? National Title in hand? Stock is up? But, to the Lions? He could wait, but I wouldn’t put it past Detroit to go 0-16 next season….
8. Yes – Detroit will go 0-16. I am sure of that.
9. Did Michigan beat that same Florida Team Last Year in the Citrus Bowl? Really? It was just last year? Man, we were good…
10. MICHIGAN HOOPS UPSET DUKE! MICHIGAN HOOPS UPSET DUKE! (I had to get that one in there)
11. If you don’t have a good way to do this, shouldn’t we go back to the old way and let the debates rage year ‘round? Of course, debate will rage in the State of Texas this year. I wouldn’t where anything with an “O” on it in that state…
12. And more from the teams I want to root for file: Stanford wasn't that great this year, but they did beat USC last year...So, yeah, I could root for them...


AND FLORIDA - AGAIN!

HOT SEAT

Well, Again in honor of the National Championship, and in no particular order, here are some Co-Ed hotties wearing the Team Colors….Unfortunately, no ties to the MMQ….But they somehow make me want to root for them, anyway….

GONE LIST
1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
3. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
4. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
5. Brent Guy – UTAH STATE – GONE
6. Robinson – Syracuse – GONE
7. CHUCK LONG – San Diego State – GONE
8. Jeff GENYK – Eastern Michigan – GONE
9. JOE GLENN – WYOMING – GONE
10. TWOTONE - MOM SAYS HE WAS FIRED…If Mom is saying it, it has to be true….

HOT SEAT
1. Spurrier – Game Cocks are looking for a replacement..have to be..

2. Zook - home on New Year's is no way to keep your job for too long..

3. Bielema – Cheeseheads made a bowl, he gets to coach 1 more year.
4. LES MILES – 7 and 5 doesn’t cut it at LSU…
5. RICH ROD – Michigan is a laughingstock…And he can’t fix it next year…
6. GROH: Fires three assistants, including son, and keeps his job – for now.


GETTING WARM:

1. Bill Martin and Mary Sue…until further notice
2. Every other coach that has been eliminated from the 32 bowls that currently exist….

HIRED:
1. Sarkisian – WASHINGTON: USC O-Coordinator. Look to see the pride restored at WMU


THE BOWLS (And My Predictions – I am working my way backwards instead of forwards…I will probably get bored by the time I get to the flea bag bowl the Domers are in and won’t feel like doing this anymore):

1. GATORLAND – LATERS: I like GATORLAND HERE. Urb’s been there. Tee-Bone’s been there. Stoops has a Bowel, er, Bowl problem and has a tendency to crap the bed once it’s made.
2. FIESTA: SUCKEYES vs. SHORTHORNS: Suckeyes could pull the upset. Big 12 does not fair well in this game. But Texas will be PISSED…I will take Texas on the sheet…
3. COTTON: Mississippi vs. Tex Tech: Tex Tech shows Ole Miss how it’s done at home in the cold…
4. SUGAR: Satan vs. Utes: Satan only brings the 2nd string and defeats Utah
5. LIBERTY: ECU vs. Kentucky: I would think I would be hearing Skip Holtz’s name more for open jobs at Division 1A schools besides Syracuse…I am taking ECU.
6. GATOR: CORNHUSKERS vs. CLEMSON: How the Tigers managed a bowl, I will never figure out. Much less a New Year’s Day Bowl….I like Pelini to win his first one here..
7. OUTBACK: Iowa vs. GAMECOCKS: Spurrier loses to Ferentz. Take Iowa to win this one…
8. ORANGE: HOKIES vs. Cincinnatti: Yawn. I can go to bed early….Is this what the Orange has come to? ACC vs. Big East Champ and no one cares? I’ll bet the Orange is REAL HAPPY about THAT….Put me down for the Turkeys…
9. ROSE: PSU vs. Rubbers: Maybe, just maybe, PSU can slow down the Rubbers. But I am taking Rubbers on the sheet.
10. Capital One: MSU vs. Puppy Dogs: So much hype, all wasted. Georgia will be down and SPARTY might be able to surprise them….But it will take everything Sparty has. I will unfortunately, have to put Georgia on my sheet.
11. CHICK FIL A: LMU vs. GTU: Well, The Wramblin’ Wreck gets LSU. Hmm….This is a tuffy…LMU isn’t that good this year and is beatable. But I have to take them against the Wreck…
12. INSIGHT: I am getting bored…Take Minnesota over Kansas.
13. MUSIC CITY: Take Vandy over BC
14. HAWAII: DOMERS AT HAWAII: Take the Rainbows and chalk up another loss for Wuzzles….
15. CHAMPS: Take FSU over the Cheeseheads…No, Make that the Cheeseheads over FSU…

Okay, that’s it….After that, it’s all crap anyway…Notable teams not in a Bowl Game:

Michigan
Illinois
Tennessee
Arkansas
Arizona State
Virginia

Till January….With maybe a zinger in between…

Thursday Afternoon - OR Friday Morning Special

Afternoon Special – Or Friday Morning Special

Well, I was waiting before I sent this edition out. Waiting for 5 things in particular. In no particular order:

1. I was Waiting for Rebellion. Waiting for the Riots to Begin. Waiting for total Bedlam, Mayhem, and outright Rage over on particular issue. Apparently, there is apathy everywhere…Or at least, there’s not enough steam building up behind the forces that need to act to change the sorry State that College Football finds itself in.

If you haven’t been paying attention, I will briefly review: Texas Beat the Laters in the Red River Shootout. Texas lost to Tex Tech at Tex Tech. The Laters then DESTROY Tex Tech at home. And how does the Big 12 Break the tie? By letting the Polls decided who should represent the Big 12 South in the Championship game.

And the polls picked the Laters. Even though they lost to TEXAS! Frankly, I was hoping and PRAYING for this. I thought that once and for all, Texans everywhere would begin demanding a better solution. A better way, A PLAY OFF FOR GOD’S SAKE!

But, there doesn’t seem to be an outrage. Oh, there’s a lot of internet talk and ESPN continues to harp about the unfairness of it all…but still, is this what we have come to in this sport? Letting the polls decide AFTER IT’S DECIDED ON THE FIELD? Can you imagine if in 2006, Michigan would have beat OSU, but just barely, and then Florida and USC would have moved up into the 1-2 spot? Sheesh…What a friggin’ mess…

2. I was waiting for the official sacrifice of the Fatted Weasel, er, Wuzzles, er, Weis at Notra Dumb….But Alas, even though his record is no better than Losingham’s, and the only guys he’s won with were Losingham’s recruits, somehow, this Athletic Department figures that Wuzzles is the right guy for the job…Interesting. And BTW, I AIN’T Buying the story that the buy-out isn’t a big deal. IT’S A BIG DEAL. That’s why they didn’t stick an apple in his mouth and put him on the spit. Even though I think Skip Holz would have been welcomed with open arms by the fans and alumni, you get to look at Charlie for another year…..


3. Tommy Twotone. Well, This one happened. He resigned, which surprises me – and in a way doesn’t. Tommy is a class act. 85-40 over 10 years with an undefeated season in 2004. And I think he will end up on his feet somewhere else. I have said it here before and I will say it again: I think Tommy makes a GREAT Big Ten Coach with his defensive, smash mouth style. And if you DON’T think this was a firing in disguise: Twotone’s buyout will be paid, but not out of University Funds: Read – Rich Alumni wanted him GONE…Jeez, you gotta lover the SEC.

4. And in other SEC news that wasn’t, I really expected to hear something about old Les Miles and his failure this year. I have heard and seen quite a bit on the internet about how the AD should have let Michigan HAVE HIM, can his ass, etc, etc, etc. Yes, what a difference a year would have made. We would have had an SEC style offense and defense coming here with some of the coaches retained and the Michigan traditions and styles intact. Instead, we have…well, I am not really sure what we have…but I am liking it less and less all the time. Don’t for one minute think that the fans and alumni are still basking in the National Title Limelight when their team is 7-5, looking at a flea bag bowl and their former, WELL LOVED Coach Satan has the Crimson Tide in the SEC Championship, one win away from a national Title…No, life is not pretty right now for Les Miles….

5. Ditto for Spurrier. I really figured that there would be something by now about getting the Ole Ball Coach out of there….


The Rest of the Mess

DOMERS vs. RUBBERS: Boy, do the Domers suck. And we lost to them. How bad is Michigan? I mean, the Domers didn’t have a first down in the first half. That’s bad. I could go on, but apparently, the AD and others have decided that 6-6 with Flubber is good enough. Oh, by the way, I see USC in the Title Game, but more on that in a minute…

LATERS vs. Cowboys: They earned it, but can anyone be really happy with the situation with the Laters? I mean, they are a great team, but they lost to TEXAS! Come on…

GATORLAND vs.FSU: Bobby Bowden needs to hang it up….It’s over.

SATAN vs. TUBBERVILLE: Unfortunately, Tommy couldn’t pull off the miracle, nor could he save his job. It’s unfortunate, but Satan is one win away from the National Title game…Hard to Believe

HUSKERS – BUFFLAOES: I love this game on Friday. I didn’t call it out last week as a big game as it really didn’t mean anything. But did you watch it? All you needed to see was the last quarter and the 57 yard winning Field Goal to clinch it…That was AWESOME….Huskers earned their moniker finishing 8-4. Pelini is figuring it out….

BCS STANDINGS:

1. ALABAMA
2. LATERS: This sucks…How can you get beaten by TEXAS and be AHEAD OF THEM?
3. SHORTHORNS – Got the Short End, if you get my drift..
4. GATORLAND - Best Team playing right now – too bad about Ole Miss
5. RUBBERS – OKAY – ARE YOU READY FOR THIS? I didn’t think this could happen, but actually, it’s quite simple. The BCS will NOT TAKE a non Championship Team in the 1-2 spot. I think there’s a rule against this now. So, MIZZOU upsets the LATERS. You CAN’T TAKE TEXAS and Therefore, you have to take USC!! Unbelievable, isn’t it?
6. UTAH – RAAAAAAAALPFFFFFF!
7. Tex Tech – I would love to see a Tex Tech Utah Match-up….
8. PENN STATE: Looks like you locked up 8 spot…
9. BOYS STATE –RAAALPFFFFF II
10. Suckeyes


IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. It’s easier to watch Football when Michigan isn’t playing…
2. Oklahoma is REALLY GOOD…
3. AUBURN is REALLY BAD…
4. DOMERS fall off the SCALE OF DEFINITION FOR BAD…
5. WHY COULD LLOYD HAVE STAYED ON ONE MORE SEASON OR SOMEONE INTERIMMED FOR 1 MORE GD YEAR! We could be talking to Les Miles Right NOW and getting him for a song…Yes, I would take Les coming off an SEC 7-5 Season over Rich Rod undefeated playing for a National Title….Sorry, that’s just the Michigan Man Talking….
6. USC will DESTROY PSU if that happens….
7. Speaking of USC, of all the cheerleaders and hotties we reviewed, by Golly, they were the hottest – Doncha' ya' think????
8. But UCLA AIN'T THAT BAD, EITHER!
What a Rivalry!

This week’s hot seat mascot: Mila Kunis! When searching for “That 70’s Show” star Laura Prepon, well, Mila just popped up. And even though there is no viable Michigan Connection, well, you know, she’s…..




























HOT!

GONE LIST
1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
3. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
4. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
5. Brent Guy – UTAH STATE – GONE
6. Robinson – Syracuse – GONE
7. CHUCK LONG – San Diego State – GONE
8. Jeff GENYK – Eastern Michigan – GONE
9. JOE GLENN – WYOMING – GONE
10. TWOTONE - We’ll miss you….

HOT SEAT
1. Spurrier – Game Cocks fans have to be getting restless….
2. Zook - Why this didn’t happen is beyond me….
3. Bielema – Do Tubberville and Alvarez have a connection?
4. LES MILES – 7 and 5 doesn’t cut it at LSU…
5. RICH ROD – Michigan is a laughingstock…And he can’t fix it next year…


GETTING WARM:

1. Bill Martin and Mary Sue…until further notice
2. Every other coach that has been eliminated from the 32 bowls that currently exist….

CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK

1. GATORLAND vs. SATAN NATION: Don’t miss College Football….I LIKE THE DOG HERE…Only one problem – So does everybody else.
2. LATERS vs. MIZZOU: This might be the upset of the week…
3. RUBBERS vs. UCLA: Always a good game that USC finds ways to lose…
4. BC vs. VA TECH: Can the HOKIES pull off the upset and become the only unranked team in a BCS Game?

Suckeyes Dominate and Destroy.....Sweet Relief

Depression is a funny thing. You don’t know you’re depressed, usually. Others around you ask you how you’re doing and you say you’re fine, but they continue to press you and comment that, “You know, you just aren’t your usual self.”

Well, I have identified the source of my depression. If you are a true Michigan fan, no matter how much emotional detachment you practice and preach, this season had to get to you. And the season was put into a nutshell for us on Saturday – in the first defensive and offensive series.

Steve Brown picks off Pryor and returns it to the OSU 13. You get excited and let yourself believe that this could happen. That the ghost of Bo is somehow overseeing this team and they are going to put it all together. Then the offense comes out and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Highs to lows, highs to lows….

The rest of the game started to implode in a train wreck that summarizes this season. I won’t comment on all the players that are considering transferring. If they want out, well, I guess I would like to know exactly why. That will start to reflect on Rich Rod. How much of this “Me against the World” attitude can he continue to throw around before it becomes a problem and kids don’t want to come to Michigan because underclassmen keep transferring? Anyone? Help me out here.

Which leads me to another thought, something that occurred to me on Saturday when I saw that LSU was getting pounded by Ole Miss…Seeing as how you are only as good as your last win in the SEC, wouldn’t it have been interesting this year if THIS was Lloyd’s last season? Mallet and the host of receivers are still around. Coaching staff hasn’t changed. Michigan is probably 7-5 or 8-4 looking at a bowl, but not New Year’s day. LMU is looking to dump the guy that has 4 losses that led them to a National Title last year. Hmmmmm…Does Les Miles look like a good deal and the right fit for Michigan? Regardless of what an interfering Lloyd might think or try to do…Sailboat Bill can make the call without worrying about the “wrath of Carr” too much because he wasn’t coming off a successful season, anyway, and we were getting tired of the Lloyd excuses. And Les would not have been in a hunt for the National Title and in the national Lime Light…So, yeah, it would have been interesting.

Timing is truly everything. I am planning on a season review of the Rod, but it won’t be pretty. 3-8 isn’t all talent, I’m afraid. There’s coaching to be held accountable in there somewhere. I am not sure I can handle another season like this….And next year, with the returning players may not be that much better. That hurts too much to think about.

The Rest of the Mess

DOMERS vs. the ‘CUSE: Class. All Class describes the Domers and their fans this year. Losing to an 8 loss team, the first time in history, has some of the Domer faithful demanding the Wuzzles resign. And they pelted the team with Snow Balls in the process. Oh my, I thought he was the savior? The Chosen One? The NFL guru that was going to turn everything around for the Domers? It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the Domers did make a change. And it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they kept Wuzzles for his entire contract. The only thing that WOULD surprise me is if the DOMERS did the right thing and cancelled their NBC contract, made nice with the Big 10, and said, “Let us in.” If you clowns still haven’t learn that there is strength in conferences, well, I will give you a list to look at and study: Kansas, Kansas State, Vanderbilt, Ole Miss, Mississippi St., Oregon St., Boise State, UTAH, Ball State, etc..... Did anyone anywhere think that 5 years ago, any of these teams would be potential Bowl teams? Or even potential BCS teams? Didn’t think so. The power of the conference makes you better. Without it, you are nothing, and will continue to be nothing…. Think about it.

TEX TECH vs. LATERS: Wow, I don’t know how you don’t make the LATERS the number 2 team in the BCS. Yes, I know, Texas beat them. Big Deal. In rivalry games, anything can happen. My guess is if the LATERS played the Shorthorns like they played TEX TECH, well, Texas would have two losses right now. I remember reading something about losing early and redeeming yourself or something? And not losing later? What was that rule? The LATERS deserve to be ranked over TEXAS. Enough said.

SPARTY vs. PSU: Wow. I could go into a lot of superlatives here, but Sparty knows by now what it takes to be an elite team in the Big 10. And no offense, but PSU spanked you worse than they spanked Michigan…

GATORLAND vs. Citibank: I think that’s who they played and crushed….Too bad you had to lose to Ole Miss or you would be in the BCS driver’s seat….

USC: USC...I bet they wish they had that Beaver Game Back…..This could be the best post season match up – Gatorland and USC. Better than the National Championship game.

BCS STANDINGS:

1. ALABAMA – Bye’s are nice.
2. TEXAS: This sucks…How can you get beaten by Tex Tech, not play ANYONE NON-CONFERENCE, and still be #2? Just because you beat the
3. LATERS – Beat the team that beat TEXAS, but lost to the Shorthorns…Still, they looked better beating Tex Tech than Texas did losing to them..
4. GATORLAND - Best Team playing right now – too bad about Ole Miss
5. RUBBERS – NEEDS A LOT OF HELP – In fact, I can’t see a way for USC to get there based on the way the coaches poll and current BCS average is stacking up….Someone explain that computer system again, please…Oh, and don’t get too close to Pete Carroll when you explain it.
6. UTAH – I am still puking from last week about this…Michigan almost BEAT THIS TEAM!
7. Tex Tech – Well, you had to drop, but this is shameful. I will take Tex Tech over UTAH any day, any week, any year. And bet the house.
8. PENN STATE: You can only go down from here….
9. BOYS STATE – This team seems to live off their Oklahoma defeat from 2004…isn’t that over yet?
10. Suckeyes – At least you won’t get pounded by USC in the Rose…Maybe they will match you up against each other in another bowl somewhere….


IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. So, Texas beat the Laters on a neutral field, 45-35, rivalry game; Tex Tech Beat Texas (and Texas looked like doggy doo-doo) and the Laters Beat Tex Tech – BAD….And that means Texas is #2?
2. If Rich Rod wins 6 games next year, are you happy? I am not sure this team can even win 6….God, how did it get this bad?
3. When does the national press start riding the Rod? I mean, Michigan recruits itself, right? Does Rod become the next Callahan? Looking for a head coaching position somewhere? Anywhere?
4. Will this be the nail that also seals the fate of Bill Martin? And Martin’s folly? A 110,000 seat stadium that no one comes to?
5. Michigan hasn’t lost to the Domers, Suckeyes, and Sparty in the same year since 1987 – Courtesy of the ESPN Bottom Line that kept reminding us of that fact all Saturday Night…..
6. The Big Ten needs a 12th team. Wouldn’t a play-off between PSU and Someone from the West Big 10 (Minnesota or Northwestern, or a rematch with Iowa) make an interesting game and give PSU more credibility?
7. The PAC 10 needs the same thing….Bring in Boise State or Utah and get them out of the WHACK and Mountain West and then when they are ranked up near the top I don’t have to feel so sick….
8. Texas Tech definitely runs hot and cold – Especially on Defense. Feast or Famine….
9. Notre Dame STILL SUCKS! And we couldn’t beat them.
10. Say what you want, the bowls will be boring this year looking at who’s in the top 25. People do not want to watch nobodies from nowhere playing for nothing. Gives us the traditional names and we’ll tune in.
11. Well, Michigan isn’t as bad as the Lions…Who WILL NOT WIN A GAME THIS YEAR! I am taking bets…
12. I love this shot of the ASU cheerleaders – too bad it showed up on You Tube and got everyone thrown off the squad…..
















HOT SEAT


This week’s hot seat mascot: Miss Michigan Kirsten Haglund! I thought it would be appropriate to get a True Michigan Link as a Mascot and seeing as how she actually won something vs. the other Michigan teams that aren’t doing so good, well, you can see the logic. The GONE list due to the most recent blood letting is one of it’s own now….The Hot Seat is still in tact and continues to grow..



GONE LIST
T. BOWDEN – GONE
1. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
2. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
3. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
4. Brent Guy – UTAH STATE – GONE
5. Robinson – Syracuse – GONE
6. CHUCK LONG – San Diego State – GONE
7. Jeff GENYK – Eastern Michigan – GONE
8. JOE GLENN – WYOMING – GONE

HOT SEAT
1. Tommy Tutone – You better Beat Satan…
2. Spurrier – Game Cocks fans are restless - there is now a blog calling for Spurrier's ouster...so, who you gonna' get???
3. Zook – come on, you are telling me that beating Michigan and not making a bowl is progress?
4. Bielema – Wisconsin…It started with Michigan. How long do the faithful back the Iowa Tight End and Barry Alvarez Annointed One?
5. RICH ROD – Worst record in Michigan History? Lost to Sparty, OSU, and Domers all the same year? He needs to beat two out of three next year or people will start screaming. Well, Screaming louder.


GETTING WARM:

Bill Martin and Mary Sue…I will continue to call for their ouster until all is right with the world….
Every other coach that has been eliminated from the 32 bowls that currently exist….

RIVALRY WEEK II

FRIDAY ( I love Thanksgiving!)
1. WVU at PITT – The Backyard Brawl
2. LSU at ARKNSAS – LSU needs this game…

SATURDAY

1. GATORLAND AT FSU: Can Bobby ruin Urban Legend’s National Title Chances? Doubtful….
2. OKIES at OKIE STATE: If the Laters can’t beat the Cowboys, well, they lose the National Title Argument…
3. Auburn at BAMA: THE IRON BOWL. Tommy Twotone is coaching for his job…Satan has everything to lose…Can you say UPSET? I like Auburn…
4. DOMERS AT THE RUBBERS: Hee, hee, hee…..Pete Carroll looking for style points in the BCS…Domers on the west coast…This will be a beating that might not stop till Sunday….

Northworstern.....But They Might As Well Win

I never thought I would EVER IN MY LIFE type the title of today’s submission….But, in all honesty, whenever a team in the Big 10 is bowl in-eligible, in my mind, it’s there conference obligation to lose to teams that are in need of a victory or that can move up in the bowl ranks to get more money for the conference….Sad, isn’t it? The MMQ has been reduced to cheering for the rest of the Big 10 and the hopes that they get better bowls than the ACC, Big East, and PAC 10…

I now believe this team has given up. I know as a fan, I kind of have, also. It’s never happened to me before, but there has definitely been a detachment from my team. A belief that no matter what I do, what rituals I keep, or what sacred tradition I follow – given this is Michigan – OSU week – it won’t matter. This team has left us nothing to hold on to….Nothing….

What really concerns me is that the team has not improved week to week..And than makes me REALLY nervous come Saturday. I don’t think they have a mercy rule in College Football…but they should have one.

And this has now become the WORST TEAM IN MICHIGAN HISTORY. That, in and of itself, is embarrassing. I hope, and pray, that this is temporary….what a dubious distinction….

Oh, I will rally come Wednesday or Thursday and remember back to better Michigan-OSU weeks where the build up was better than the game. But this year, this year is almost like a nightmare to the finish where the ending will be a sweet relief, and yet, I will know that this is more or less the same team coming back next year….

I have two season’s tickets available if anyone is interested. Maybe that will help.


The Rest of the Mess

DOMERS vs. NAVY: Anyone who watched this game realizes what a whacky game college football has become. Any given Saturday. I was obviously pulling for the come back, but, alas, the Mid Shippies couldn’t manage to pull off two in a row.

BAMA vs. Miss State: Yes, I was hoping that Satan would lose two in a row here, also, but that wasn’t meant to be, either. It’s shaping up to be a BAMA – Texas Tech Showdown in the BCS…

SUCKEYES vs. ILLINI: I thought Zook might pull this off and save his job…People have to be getting pretty upset in Illini land. This team had so much pre-season promise and then Zooky let it all go….Sounds like the same thing that happened to him in Florida right before he got canned there….

GATORLAND vs. GAMECOCKS: Boy oh boy…The Ole Ball Coach couldn’t even make this one close….He might be moving up on the ole Hot Seat.

BCS STANDINGS:

1. ALABAMA – SATAN – It’s all up to Auburn and Florida now. Otherwise, Saban goes back to the BCS championship with a different school.
2. TEXAS TECH – Oklahoma showdown is huge….playing for South Championship and a shot at Mizzou…What if Mizzou wins? Do they get the nod at that point? They aren’t even in the top 10 (with two losses)
3. TEXAS: This sucks…
4. GATORLAND - Best Team playing right now…SATAN KILLERS IN THE PLAY-OFF!
5. LATERS– Needs some help….and they need to BEAT Texas Tech
6. RUBBERS – NEEDS A LOT OF HELP…Still rooting for the OSU rematch to watch them get their ass kicked again! PAC 10 might consider getting a championship game – kind of like the Big 10 needs to think about it…
7. UTAH – This bugs me like you can’t believe….
8. PENN STATE: JOE PA’s Last Chance….
9. BOYS STATE – I hate this…I hate this….I hate this…..
10. Suckeyes – this ranking will make the Rose more interesting….

IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. Is it still too late to hire someone else?
2. If Michigan gets better, do you realize that 5-7 will be improvement? Nearly 100% improvement?
3. Michigan could: A. Lose more games next year. B. Actually look worse. C. Lose a lot of fans in the process….I found a lot of things to do on Saturdays this year.
4. You KNOW IT’S A BAD YEAR when four of the top 25 BCS teams are: Utah, Boise State, Ball State (Brady Hoak), Brigham Young and Cincinnatti….
5. If the Big 10 would get Iowa State – say, whatever happened to that discussion, anyway? – they could then have a championship game….Do we need that? Does the PAC 10 need it, too?
6. I got tired of looking for other teams to root for, but Becky Quick on MSNBC Squawk Box is HOT!!!! Smart, money and good looks, also…..

HOT SEAT

This week’s Hot Seat Mascot: Jessica Simpson! Singer and Actress…..But her attributes should be obvious….. The MMQ link: She won a Chrysler Crossfire at the MTV music awards and traded it in for a mini-van to donate to her local children’s orphanage. I know it’s reaching, but JS has a Detroit link and therefore a Michigan connection!

1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
3. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
4. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
5. Brent Guy – UTAH STATE – GONE
6. Robinson – Syracuse – GONE
7. Tommy Tutone – You better Beat Satan….
8. JOE GLENN – WYOMING…They are not only bad, but as you may recall he flipped off Utah’s coach…
9. Spurrier – Game Cocks fans have to be getting restless….
10. Zook – come on, you are telling me that barely making a bowl is progress?
11. RICH ROD – Worst record in Michigan History? Not even Lloyd achieved that honor.


GETTING WARM:

1. (tie) Bill Martin and Mary Sue…I will continue to call for their ouster until all is right with the world….
2. Every other coach that has been eliminated from the 32 bowls that currently exist….

RIVALRY WEEK

1. MICHIGAN AT OSU – The records don’t matter! Well, maybe in this case they do….
2. MSU AT PSU: For all the marbles – sort of…MSU wins and OSU wins the Big Ten….Maybe the Big 10 needs a championship….
3. TEXAS TECH AT LATERS: Big Game for the Big 12 south….Loser loses SOOO MUCH and winner plays for EVERYTHING…..
4. Cremesicles at Vanderbilt: Vandy is bowl eligible and looks to improve their record….Tennessee is Michigan….Looking to end the misery…
5. Syracuse at DOMERS: Can the Orange rally for their Just canned Coach and pull the upset?

SPECIAL RECOGNITON

Regular reader and young WOLVERINE Fan TC!

TC's Team (Lakeland) made it to the Division II REGIONAL FINALS but got a tough draw and lost to Warren De LaSalle on Saturday. But Congrats to the Lakeland Football Team on a GREAT SEASON!!!!

MICHIGAN KEEPS THE JUG!

Michigan Keeps the JUG!

I am a little under the weather today so the entry may not have the same smart ass pop as usually, but I will attempt to give it my best…

Well, one thing you can say about this team: They didn’t give up. I am not sure we got any better, as much as it looked like Minnesota just didn’t show up. I was not happy with red zone production and our defense, while only allowing 1 first half 1st down, looked, at times, like it has all season.

But, a win is a win in a season like this and I will relish it. Next week is Michigan’s Home Bowl Game against Northwestern. It’s shaping up to be wonderful weather in Ann Arbor and I am sure we will all get suntans if we attend the game….

I have come to one conclusion: Rich Rod gives a lousy interview. I just don’t like the guy. I don’t know what it is (probably the losing) but something about him rubs me the wrong way. But I will give him 3 years and we will see what happens.


The Rest of the Mess

SPARTY vs. Spoilermakers: Sparty – You are giving me new hope that a successful Big East Coach can come to the Big Ten and win. 9-2 isn’t bad, and you really should have beat California. OSU – You shot yourself in the foot, and that can happen. I really wanted to see an undefeated PSU team have to play Sparty, but Iowa took care of that…

PSU vs. IOWA: Wow….Can you believe it? Somehow, some way, PSU finds a way to shoot themselves in the big toe every season. And IOWA provided the back drop for this one….from the opening drive, Iowa came to play….And I am convinced that PSU would have been a bigger embarrassment for the Big Ten then the Suckeyes usually are playing for the National Title….

Texas Tech vs. Okie State: You know what? Texas Tech deserves the shot at the title. Those guys can play ball! They can’t play DEFENSE, mind you, but they can score pretty well.

ALABAM vs. LMU: Nuts. Once again, the much hated SATAN pulls off the win in a classic SEC overtime dog fight….I thought I was backing the right dog in this fight, but you just never can tell with the SEC. LM might find himself on the “getting warm” seat if he loses one more game….Did you hear about the couple in Alabama who got shot after the game because someone called the other guy a bad name? No kidding…

DOMERS vs. BC EAGLES: HA! Once again, the MMQ is PROVEN RIGHT! THE DOMERS ARE WHAT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! An over rated team that was handed a gift by Michigan. Domer fans, you have a long way to go before you will ever return to a BCS game. Get used to it….

CREMESICLES: You know, it’s good to see that as bad as Michigan is, there really is someone that SUCKS a whole lot more….Now, Wyoming isn’t good. They are going to can their head coach. But they beat the Cremesicles….Man….Tennessee fan has to feel pretty bad right about now…

AUBURN: Got one of the wins they need to get to 5 on the season, but 6 is going to be tough with Georgia and Alabama left on the schedule….Wouldn’t it be sweet if Tommy Twotone figured out a way to beat Satan?

HOAKIES: So, who wants to win the ACC Coastal? Is there a really good team in there this year? If this is parody, I don’t like it….We want DOMINATION!!!! I guess a win over Maryland is okay, but, man, it’s hard to watch the ACC this year.


BCS STANDINGS:

ALABAMA – SATAN – Can this be happening? Really? Or will the SEC find a way to knock him out?
TEXAS TECH – This team is scary and could pull off the sleeper Big 12 victory. Have to beat OKIE STATE and win the Big 12 Conference Championship
SHORTHORNS – How does this all work if there is a 3-way tie for first in the Big 12 south and then that team loses the Championship game to Mizzou? Mizzou goes to the Big One, Right?? Right???
GATORLAND - Best Team playing right now…SATAN KILLERS IN THE PLAY-OFF!
LATERS– Needs some help….
RUBBERS – NEEDS A LOT OF HELP…But, if OSU wins Big 10, Guess who gets to spank them again? Yep – USC.
UTAH – Come on….Stop this….MICHIGAN ALMOST BEAT THIS TEAM!
PENN STATE: I am surprised they only fell this far…
BOYS STATE – I hate this…I hate this….I hate this…..
Puppy Dawgs….No, you can’t have three schools in the BCS…so the DAWGS ARE OUT…..

IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. It’s getting a little better…It’s getting a little better…It’s getting a little better…
2. When Sheridan runs and no one is there to see it, does he actually move?
3. Minnesota looks really bad…What has the Big 10 come to?
4. Looking for other teams to root for…I am not a BIG SWIM FAN, but Golly, these Texas Tech Swimmers could make me a swim fan...or Texas Tech Fan...

HOT SEAT

This week’s hot seat mascot: Kathryn Heigl from “Grey’s Anatomy”. The MMQ link: She was apparently spotted in Michigan shooting an upcoming movie…I don’t have the details of the movie or when she was here…But the fact that she’s been in Michigan is enough for me!

1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
3. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
4. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
5. Tommy Tutone – No Conference Title, Bowl is questionable….
6. JOE GLENN – WYOMING…They are not only bad, but as you may recall he flipped off Utah’s coach….
7. RICH ROD – Beating the Gophers doesn't get you off the list....

GETTING WARM:

1. Zook – how can a team with so much promise and hype go 5-5?
2. Bill Martin and Mary Sue....Just cuz...

3. The Ole Ball Coach - but he's off the seat if he beats GATORLAND!

Games of the WEEK

1. Ohio State at Illinois – Zook can maybe save his job and qualify for the Motor City Bowl…That’s in Detroit, at least for now…
2. DOMERS at Navy – Watch this one. You will get to see NAVY beat the Domers two years running….
3. Puppy Dawgs at AUBURN: Tommy Twotone can save his job with a win…
4. South Carolina at GATORLAND: Best game of the week….The Ole Ball Coach back in the swamp is always fun….
5. Boston College – FSU: Can BC knock FSU out of the top 25?

UM Season's OVER - Hook, Lateral and Sinker....

Season’s Over - Hook, Lateral, and Sinker

Spoilermakers….Not that there was a season to spoil, mind you, but the way they won…the Boise State Hook and Lateral play is getting more enjoyable to watch every time I see it run successfully by other teams....Gee, I wonder if Michigan ever practices that in the gimmick offense we run....

Are we getting better? No. If I could just forfeit the last 3 now and not watch exactly how we lose, I might be able to stomach it.... Having to watch makes it worse, at least for this fan. Occasionally, I get something on College football Saturday that makes me feel good, but, damn, it’s getting harder and harder to find…Therefore, I will let my mind wander back to a much better November 1st game the day after Halloween:

DATELINE: November 1, 1997. Michigan, undefeated, heads into the final four games of the season with a pesky Minnesota Gopher team coming into the Big House. The air is abuzz with the possibility of running the table, but a Paper Tiger still awaits Michigan the following week - Penn State, also ranked in the top 5 and undefeated. Therefore, overlooking the Gophers, similar to what happened in 1986, when those pesky Gophers came into the Big House and beat an undefeated Michigan team….But, no one wants to read about history in this column…But we DID defeat the Gophers that day and set up the Showdown in Happy Valley on November 8th.

The Rest of the Mess

SPARTY vs. the CHEESEHEADS: Sparty, you are starting to scare me. Lose on all the stats, Time of possession, 1st downs, rush yards, pass yards….And you manage to pull out the win. If you can figure out how to win when you shouldn’t, then you are starting to figure it out…Damn IT!....But SPOILERS and PSU loom large on the schedule….

AUBURN AT OLE MISS: Tubberville will either have to pull a T. Bowden/P. Fullmer and quit or I am guessing he gets shown the door…..

SHORTHORNS – TEXAS TECH: UPSET OF THE DAY! Wow, I couldn’t believe Tech did what they did with time ticking off the clock….WE AIN’T GOING TO KICK NO STINKING FIELD GOAL….Throw for the TD and Lubbock goes nuts…Which upsets the order of the BCS and eliminates the

PUPPY DOGS – GATORLAND: HA! The Frauds of Athens are exposed – And Urban Meyer gets the best of Richy Richt. I don’t know why they try so hard to not say, “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” when everyone knows that’s what it is. Another SEC Team out of BCS contention….

Georgia Tech - FSU: BOWDEN’s Defense Exposed! FSU at 7-1. I wasn’t buying it no matter how much you wanted to sell it….

CREMESICLES vs. GAMECOCKS: The Ole Ball Coach finally got Fullmer fired…Or he quit…Whichever version you want to believe.






PITT - DOMERS: Hee-hee-hee – let’s see. 4 OT’s where no one could score a TD and you lose on your home field….Yes, Domers! Come and join my misery…So, that gives you 3 losses with another possible 2 on the schedule. Can someone, anyone, please tell me how Wuzzles thought he was going 10-2?


BCS STANDINGS:

1. ALABAMA – SATAN – Can this be happening? Really? Or will the SEC find a way to knock him out?
2. TEXAS TECH – This team is scary and could pull off the sleeper Big 12 victory. Have to beat OKIE STATE and win the Big 12 Conference Championship
3. PSU – Just Win OUT JOE PA, Just Win Out….Most likely to happen
4. TEXAS – These guys should be 5…..
5. FLORIDA – They looked good against Puppy Dogs….Should be 4
6. OKLAHOMA – Hoping and praying for some help…
7. USC – Hee-hee-hee….Maybe that win over the Domers will vault you up to number 6…
8. UTAH – Really? Riiiiiiiight….
9. OKIE STATE – Big Game in Lubbock on Saturday….
10. BOISE STATE – See Utah…

IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. It’s not getting better…It’s not getting better…It’s not getting better…
2. Michigan just made College Football trivia harder…Or easier...Whichever
3. Is there anyone that can play DEFENSE ON THIS TEAM?
4. Looking for other teams to root for…Say, who needs other teams when you have Michigan Chicks that look like this???? Where have they been hiding these Wolverines, anyway?

5. Or how about this Michigan Chick? Yeah, I know she’s not from Michigan, but Tom Brady’s Hottie Giselle qualifies as a Michigan Chick to me…Okay?

HOT SEAT

This week’s HOT SEAT MASCOT: Laura Prepon from the Nostalgia Based “That 70’s Show”, Seeing as how I got Nostalgic for the 1997 season earlier, it seemed appropriate...and The MMQ has a signed copy of one of the scripts from an early episode…But the reason she’s the mascot should be obvious…If this reason isn’t obvious, please respond in a separate e-mail and I will ‘splain to you…..

1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – GONE – Quit before he could get CANNED….
3. Wilingham – GONE ….Another one bites the dust..
4. AMSTUTZ (Toledo) – GONE After Beating Michigan, he gets CANNED.
5. Tommy Tutone – No Conference Title, Bowl is questionable….
6. RICH ROD – If Toledo fired it’s head coach after beating Michigan…Where’s the logic in that???


GETTING WARM:

Ferentz - nuff said on him….
Bill Martin – He’s there until Michigan proves they made the right decision….
The Ole Ball Coach - If his team loses to Fullmer’s Cremesicles…Well, they will be squawking for his head, too…..

Games of the WEEK

1. Texas Tech vs. Okie State: This game will be 70-70 in the 3rd quarter.
2. Michigan at Minnesota – Yeah, doesn’t sound big to you, but it is for the oldest Trophy in College Football….The JUG!
3. BAMA at LMU: Can Les rally the troops and win one for JOE PA?

4. PSU at IOWA: FERENTZ could do a lot to save his job here…I doubt he has the personnel to pull off the impossible, however…
5. DOMERS at BC: Always a classic….And I think BC smells blood in the water….
6. FLORIDA AT VANDY: Florida, could trip here, but I doubt it.

MOO U Gets Lucky In the BIG HOUSE

MOO U Finds Luck in the Big House

God….To think I was at the game the last time MSU beat us in the Big House and Desmond Howard was mugged in the end zone on what would have been the winning two point conversion, and now I had to witness this game in what can only be remembered as the (insert your own superlative adjective here) season in the history of Michigan Football.

Rich Rod just plain doesn’t get it, and I am starting to get a lot of positive re-inforcement from the games that support the hypothesis that he’s not a very good coach. Rosenberg had a great article in Sunday’s wrap, and I will summarize: How does a team that lost 3 starters on defense and finished ranked 23rd in the country overall on defense manage to go so far down as to be ranked in the triple digits on defense? Now, I know the offense IS NOT HELPING MATTERS. However, I expect more from Michigan Defenses….And this is NOT a Michigan Defense. What the hell do the coaches do with this team during the week? At least we had the vision to see that Morgan Trent isn’t that great of a corner and we yanked him…..But, Jeez, we really, really suck….

Record: 2-6. Let that sink in for a minute…..We were laughing at the Domers (rightly so) for a 3 win season….I am looking at the next four games and frankly, I can’t find one where I think we are better than 50-50% at winning……Yep, a lot like the ole stock market, it’s going to get a LOT WORSE before it gets any better….

So, Sparty – do you fade after this victory or do you make New Year’s Day? Time will tell….

THIS JUST IN: Did anyone else know that RICH ROD HADN’T SIGNED HIS CONTRACT UNTIL FRIDAY???? Yeah, me neither….Should have canned him before we let him sign…Fire Martin and Coleman for that F-up………

The Rest of the Mess

AUBURN AT WVU (Thursday): This game wasn’t even close….Tubberville (Two Tone) is back on the hot seat after the egg they laid in Morganton….

PSU KITTIES – SUCKEYES: Well, there was at least ONE good thing that happened Saturday….The Suckeyes lost, too. That was a great game and love seeing the tears in the Suckeye Fan’s eyes after their beloved Nuts Crack like a brittle bone when they have to play a good team in the National Spotlight….Beware Michigan, Suckeye Nation….We will be coming to the shoe with nothing to lose….

SHORTHORNS – OKIE STATE: Texas doesn’t miss a beat and handles Okie State, but it was a game to the finish….Texas Tech Looms on the horizon….

SATAN vs. CREMESICLES: Yep…Fire Fullmer has to be a statewide mantra at this point…Phil needed to beat one of the new guys and he was creamed by all of them….

PUPPY DOGS – LMU: Okay, okay….Maybe I am voting too much with my heart this year and not my head….But how does a team get taken to the woodshed by Satan Nation and then just rip up LMU at HOME???? Maybe Les isn’t as good a coach as I thought, either….

VIRGINIA – Georgia Tech: Al Groh DOES IT AGAIN! I figured the Wramblin’ Wreck would have pounded these guys….I guess Groh is off the hot seat, so I need a replacement…Maybe

HOAKIES – FSU: BEAMER! You mean to tell me you guys COULDN’T PUT THE FINAL NAIL in the Bowden Boys coffin and beat Bobby at FSU? Sheesh……I mean, how long a bye does Beamer get before Hokie Nation gets restless?

GATORLAND - Kentucky: Wow – What exactly did the Wildcats do to piss you off? Urban usually doesn’t run it up, either….Was this to get Tebow back on top of the Heismann voting?

DOMERS: Byes are nice….. Oh wait, you played someone….It was a scrimmage, let me think…Oh yeah, I guess you got your former Coach Willingham fired again…Maybe…No reports as of yet…

IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. It has to get better…It has to get better….It has to get better…It has to get better..
2. There is always next year….There is always next year…There is always next year..
3. At least we had 1997…At least we had 1997…At least we had 1997….
4. So, in the spirit of finding schools to root for based on their team’s performance and how their fans inspire me, well, I do like Alabama…But I HATE THEIR COACH!

5. I like the Chaps, but not at the Rose Bowl….So, therefore, we can’t root for Texas…

HOT SEAT

This week’s HOT SEAT MASCOT: Actress and MICHIGAN FAN Felicity Huffman…Anyone who supports the Maize and Blue get’s a shot as the Hot Seat Mascot…

And, well, she can eat crackers in the Big House Any time!

1. T.BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – You can’t lose to Urban, Satan, and Richy Rich all in the same season and expect to keep your job…
3. Wilingham – A great guy…May be gone before I go to post…..
4. Tommy Tutone – No Conference Title, Bowl is questionable….
5. RICH ROD – Yep. Honorary Seat. Pissing me off will get you on this list….


GETTING WARM:

1. Ferentz – demoted to make room for the Rod…
2. Bill & Mary Sue– They are on this list until Michigan proves they made the right decision….
3. The Ole Ball Coach - If his team loses to Fullmer’s Cremesicles…Well, they will be squawking for his head, too…..

Games of the WEEK

1. SHORT HORNS vs. TEXAS TECH : Will the upstart and BCS 6th ranked Red Raiders find a way to take McCoy down a notch?

2. CORNSUCKERS AT LATERS: Remember when this game meant something? Kind of Like Michigan - MSU.....But the Suckers and Laters care, I know....

3. PITT at DOMERS: I am not sold on the Domers this year...They finally get another test...

4. GATORLAND AT PUPPY DOGS: Urban and Richy-Rich square off in WORLD'S LARGEST OUTDOOR COCKTAIL PARTY!!!!!

5. MICHIGAN vs. SPOILERMAKERS: In a Battle of Ineptitude, two Big Ten teams kick punts at each other until somebody screws up a snap and makes the final score 2-0.

PSU and U of Stink

Well, I have to admit – I am starting to feel like a jinx. Unable to bear what I thought was going to be a brutal first half of football, I agreed to join my wife and girls on a Pumpkin Patch Adventure at the Cider Mill. After running into some friends and helping them with their locked in the car keys dilemma, I was able to walk by the kettle corn stand and heard the game on. I asked the guy for the score.

“10 –nothing.” So, in my head I thought, “That’s not so bad.” Then he said, “Michigan.” That’s when I about lost it and said, “You have got to be kidding me.” “Nope. Michigan’s up and they are in control of the game.”

Now, I can’t tell you what happened from the time I actually heard that, got a report from several other fans, and then finally got home and turned on the TV, but when I started watching, Michigan looked like the same sand lot football team that I watched stink it up against Toledo with Sheridan throwing to a lineman out of the end zone for a safety. Nice.

I thought about turning it off, but then I realized that I had the same thoughts during the Wisconsin game. I decided to leave it on and it continued to get uglier and uglier. I don’t know what else to add or say from what’s already been said. I am glad we found Brandon Minor and he’s showing some leadership and getting tough yards. The defense, when I saw them, looked atrocious.

But is PSU worthy of a BCS #3 ranking at this point? I don’t think so….over rated, even though we couldn’t handle them….

But at least Sparty lost….I don’t know how I missed so bad on that prediction and let’s dive into

The Rest of the Mess

SPARTY – SUCKEYES: Sparty, Sparty, Sparty. I hate to use the SOS term, but, jeez, you guys sure seem to know exactly when to have a really bad game – and even worse execution. I was thinking that the Suckeyes were weak and vulnerable, and you made them look like national title contenders again. Turnovers, sloppy tackling, and you lost your QB – for what that’s worth…. Maybe Dantonio isn’t the coach I thought he was. I was expecting more….I actually think we can beat you if you show up to Ann Arbor looking like that….

SHORTHORNS – MIZZOU: I’ll admit, I liked Missouri a lot in this game. More than I probably should have, but I still thought Chase Daniel and company would bounce back and steal this one from an over exuberant Texas team….Once again, I was wrong……BIG TIME…

RUBBERS – WAZOO: Apparently, WSU does not have a team this year, so you go to their stadium, run a practice, and then decide what you want your score to be….

CLEMSON – GEORGIA TECH: So, Tommy Bowden is Fired/Quits (Pick your own word here – I still can’t figure it out after reading the reports) on Monday and Tech drives another nail into the continuously over rated Tigers season….My guess is they might not make a bowl at this point making pre-season rankings look even sillier….Can we just stop ranking them until the 5th week of the season?

VIRGINIA – NORTH CAROLINA: I think Al Groh must have been a cat in a different life….He finds a way to beat North Carolina and keep himself off the hot seat….

HOAKIES – BC: OOOPS! Boston College can still play without Matty Ryan….Hoakies out of the drivers seat in the ACC Atlantic….

LMU – USC: Les beats the Ole Ball Coach and further confirms that Spurrier is probably done after this season….

GATORLAND: Byes are nice….I think you are over rated in the BCS rankings, however…But time will tell…

DOMERS: Byes are nice…..

IDLE THOUGHTS FROM SATURDAY

1. I wonder if PSU has ever considered adding some color to their Uniforms? I mean, they are classic and all, but still….Blue and White gets a little boring…..

2. If a Suckeye shows up at your stadium and starts making noise, does anyone really pay attention?

3. If I were a fan without an allegiance, what school would I root for? Yes, LSU looks nice…Those are some nice Golden Girls…And they have all those night games to give you a chance to get something done during the day…Or drink more at the tailgate – I don’t know which.

4. Of course, MSU’s cheerleaders aren’t as pretty as they used to be – but they “Yo Quiero Taco Bell!”

HOT SEAT

This week’s HOT SEAT Mascot: Actress and recent breast cancer survivor Christina Applegate. I sure hope the reconstructive surgery can save her natural assets….The Bundy Reunion show just wouldn’t be the same…

1. T. BOWDEN – GONE
2. Fullmer – I don’t see how he keeps his job at the end of the year
3. Wilingham – if the Domers beat him…Well, he was a nice guy, but I don’t think anyone will pick him up now – not as a head coach
4. Groh – How does this guy manage to eek out a win when he needs one?
5. Ferentz – Yeah, he beat Wisconsin, but had to suspend his kid for drinking…How long will Iowa Fan put up with his shenanigans?


GETTING WARM:

RICH ROD – Yes, there is a fire Rich Rod Website….Do I subscribe to that theory that you should can this guy right now? No. But if it ain’t happening next year and the effort – COACHING EFFORT – continues to suck, then, by all means
Bill Martin – Yeah, I know he’s not a coach. Can him anyway…..
The Ole Ball Coach – He’s quitting or getting fired at the end of the season… just a hunch…

Games of the WEEK

Michigan - SPARTY: I like Michigan….Sparty, you don’t have a QB and it shows
THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Auburn at WVU….Should be a good one…
PUPPY DOGS at LMU: I like Les and I don’t like the Puppies…
OSU at Texas: We will see if Okie State is for real…
Bama at Cremesicles: The Waterloo of Fullmer begins...
PSU at SUCKEYES: Game of the Week for the Big 10….Well, at least one of them loses….

Burnt By a ROCKET

Humility, or being humble, is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others.


Okay – I get it now. Sometimes, no matter how good you think your program or team has been “HISTORICALLY”, things can change in a New York Minute….The thing is, I am not even sure how it got this bad this quickly. I understand that there are players that left and transferred, etc, but, come on, this is ridiculous. You mean to tell me we don’t have enough talent to at least BE COMPETITIVE against a 1-4 MAC team that Ball State hung 30 points on the week before?

I am not even going to comment on this game except to say that I felt things were going bad in the 3rd quarter and we were on a train wreck waiting to happen…You know that Kevin Bacon Clip from “She’s Having a Baby” when his wife tells him she stopped taking the pill? That’s what I felt like…..

Sometimes when I am walking out of the stadium, I listen to the fans. They weren’t saying much. Then we listened at to some of the post game at the tailgate until I got sick of that. I explained to my daughter when I got home why Michigan lost. And I told her the head coach blamed injuries and not having the team ready to play. And then Ashley said:

“Dad! You always tell us that excuses are for losers and that winners find a way to win! That’s what you always tell us in softball. Is Michigan making excuses?”

And it dawned on me. She’s right. I never heard the Michigan coaching staff before now blame injuries or other trivial issues on winning and losing. However, this seems to be the excuse regime. Well, I for one will have none of it. If I wasn’t off the Rich Rod Band Wagon before, I am now. I feel like we overspent on a younger version of John L. Smith…….

The Rest of the Mess

SPARTY KITTY CATS: OK. There’s a real good chance you guys might have a shot at the Big 10 this year. OSU will be tough, but you have them at home. Uh, Sparty and Fans – 1 question: HOW CAN THERE STILL BE TICKETS AVAILABLE FOR THIS GAME? ARE YOU FANS OR WHAT?????

DOMERS – BUTCH DAVIS: As much as the ZEBRAS tried to give you the game and a chance to win, UNC found a way to offset those clowns and preserve the victory. Wuzzles is moving up on the hot seat list, again….(By the way, I saw the Mighty Quinn introducing McCain and he did a great job– He’s a class guy. So, maybe – MAYBE – I’ll cut him a little slack…)


LATERS – SHORTHORNS: I blew this call…I really thought Stupor would defeat the MAC attack but they couldn’t put it all together…And not rushing the ball is no way for a LATER team to play….

GATORLAND – LMU: URBAN LEGEND! Wow…I blew this one, too. I had seen Gatorland play several times this year and Urban seemed to have forgotten half the playbook with the exception of Run Tim Right, Run Tim Left, Let Tim Pass on 3rd down…..Well, against LMU, I saw running backs carrying the ball and Tebow passing on first down of all things. LMU will be back, but Gatorland seems to want it this year.

PSU – CHEESEHEADS: Great. Just lovely. PSU hangs 48 on the Frauds and now MICHIGAN is a 24 Point early dog in Happy Valley…That’s just great….Just great….What else can go wrong? Wait – I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!

MZZOU – OKSTATE: Wow – Didn’t see this one coming, either. I figured Daniels and Co. would handle these guys easy….

CORNSUCKERS – TTECH: OT and lose….Too bad, so sad…Pelini will get them back, but it will take years. The question is: Is Rich Rod the Callahan equivalent?

CLEMSON: HAHAHAHAHAHA…..Tommy Bowden should be looking for a job today….Wake did them in on Thursday Night….

HOAKIES: Survive and thrive in the ACC…It must be nice to be in a weak conference…OK, that might have sounded like a shot, but C’mon, I am the MMQ…

CREMESICLES: Maybe Tennessee and Michigan could get together on New Year’s Day and just play a game between two of the largest stadium teams to see which one sucks less……

Random Thoughts

1. The student body of Florida has some good times.....Say, do they call this a GATOR Shot down there or what?

2. Why Can't MICHIGAN WIN??? WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT CAN BE DONE TO STOP THIS? (That's my inner monologue that plays in my head during my conscious hours...The unconscious hours are worse....It's more like a nightmare...)

3. Maybe I could root for a good team instead. Problem is, who do you pick? I have always like the USC Cheerleader outfits....I don't know why??



Could it Be WHAT'S INISDE?















Could be.........

THIS WEEK'S HOT SEAT MASCOT: Teri Hatcher....Actress, Swimmer and Sagitarius that shares her sign with the MMQ...

SUPER HOT-HOT-HOT Seat - Or the Race for Skip Holtz

1. Phillip Fulmer
2. Tommy Bowden
3. Greg Robinson
4. Ty Willingham
5. Kirk Ferentz
6. Al Groh

Getting WARMER

1. The Ole Ball Coach
2. Wuzzles
3. Satan - Iknow, he didn't even play this week...I just don't like the guy...

GAMES OF THE WEEK

1. MICHIGAN AT PSU: This could get ugly FAST....I am a little nervous that they will hang 100 on us...
2. VANDY AT PUPPYDDOGS: I think Vandy could rebound and beat Richy Rich...I am picking the upsets this week...
3. KANSAS AT LATERS: Okay - maybe not ALL THE Upsets...I think the Laters bounce back and get this one...
4. SUCKEYES AT SPARTY: All Right Sparty - I said I was taking the upsets...You better win.

Until Next Week - PLEASE DON'T LET PSU DESTROY US....

MMQ

Michigan and the Illini

Observations from the Game:


That's a good trick!


One of my daughter’s favorite comments when I am verbally “lamenting” my team’s performance, throwing objects at the TV and I’m in a generally crappy mood:

“Daddy, is it still ‘Great to Be a Michigan Wolverine’”

I have to remind her that, yes, it is Great to be a Michigan Wolverine…Just not always. At least it’s better to be a losing Wolverine than a winning Domer….


Thoughts and Observations from the Game:

1. I usually find something to take away fom every game. This one is tough. QB Play – Horrible. O-line play – Horrible. Running back- IF THESE CLOWNS DROP THE BALL ONE MORE TIME…..
2. I am not sure I can make it through the learning curve of the Rich Rod Offensive era without losing my mind…It’s just not going to be easy…
3. Does Rich Rod realize that EVERYONE looks at a down Michigan team as an opportunity to get YEAR’S of revenge back for teams that have never beat the Wolverines?
4. Is Zookie that good? I mean, Juice Williams is good….But is Zook that good of coach? I’m not so sure…
5. I now know what it’s like to have a really crappy team and not a whole lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Frankly, Toledo makes me nervous.
6. Wait a minute - We came back against a Wisconsin team that nearly beat OSU at home this week….So, does that make us better than what we appeared on Saturday, or is OSU not as good as advertised? Interesting…
7. McGuffy could be good if someone would friggin’ block for him.
8. I about threw up when Odom fumbled the kick-off. I thought we were done with that.
9. Pass – then run. Rich Rod…..Pass, then run…
10. Maybe our Defense isn’t that great, either….
11. I guess I do wish we would have won the Terrel Pryor Sweepstakes now…
12. Citrus and Outback bowl officials were sad that they wouldn’t be able to welcome Michigan to their bowls this year. I just hope we make the – Dare I utter the words – Motor City Bowl?

Okay – that’s out of the way. Yes, Michigan lost. And I allowed myself to think that something happened against Wisconsin….Which maybe it did, maybe it didn’t.

On to the Rest of the Mess

SPARTY: Took care of the Hawkeyes at home. Don’t worry that it wasn’t pretty…Nobody cares come bowl time…

DOMERS: I thought Jimmy Harbaugh would come in with a better game plan to knock Clausen off his game. But, that’s the way the Domer bounces. Just when you thought they could lose to someone, they show up.

GATORLAND: Yeah, you can pummel Arkansas…Still doesn’t erase the fact that you lost to Ole Miss….

VANDY COMMODORES! – Congrats! Beating Auburn and going 5-0 for the first time since Ike was president is impressive.

CORNSUCKERS: Pelini has a LONG way to go to restore the Black Shirt Defense to where it once was…and he knows it…Even if one of his players did hock a loogie on Daniel…

CREMESICLES: Really establishing themselves with a 13-6 win over Noerthern Illinois….but a win is a win…

BAMA: Got a scare from Kentucky…Could have easily gone the other way…

HOAKIES: Won the game, lost key players….Injury bug is hitting Hoakies hard.


SEC EAST
1. Vanderbilt

Did you ever THINK you would see that in OCTOBER????


Idle Thoughts While Watching the Rest of the Day's Games


1. Why can't the ACC maintain a good conference? They have the Ocean, weather, for the most part, and old, storied institutions....

2. For that matter, why can't FSU recruit better? It can't be that the local talent isn't helping....



















It must Be Bobby Bowden's Fault.......

3. Hoakies could own the ACC if they wanted to...But can't seem to get it done

4. What about the Big 12? Are they going to start the Dominant Conference Claim and challenge the SEC for superiority? Especially when Vanderbilt is leading the charge in the SEC East....

5. Will the Big 10 EVER have any respect again? OSU keeps screwing that up...Michigan held up there end of the deal by Beating Gatorland and Urban Legend.

6. I wonder what ever happend to Schlister?

7. Great College QB's are not necessarily Great Pro QB's....But I foresee Chase Daniel in a - dare I say it - Lion's Jersey?

8. And that could be a Good Thing....

9. Can State get to a BCS game this year? That would be a first for them...And would beat my prediction that Michigan Men's Basketball would make the Sweet 16 before State made a BCS Bowl....Nutz.....

10. JEEZ I HATE THE DOMERS!!!!!



Just to make sure you are all still reading this - and reading TO THE END: I think it's time to start adding some nonsense to the drivel for a little Monday Morning Wake Me Up (And is also a GREAT Mascot for the HOT SEAT-Pun Intended):

HOT SEAT MASCOT OF THE WEEK!
Gemma Atkinson - English Actress and Lingerie Model, Likes Beer and MICHIGAN FOOTBALL!

SUPER HOT-HOT-HOT Seat - Or the Race for Skip Holtz (Thanks partly to USA Today for Stats)

1. Phillip Fulmer, Tennessee 1-3 148-48 (17th season)
2. Tommy Bowden, Clemson 3-2 72-44 (10th season)
3. Greg Robinson, Syracuse 1-4 8-32 (4th season)
4. Ty Willingham, Washington 0-4 11-29 (4th season)
5. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa 3-2 64-51 (10th season)
6. Al Groh, Virginia 1-3 52-40 (8th season)

Getting WARMER

1. The Ole Ball Coach - South Carolina
2. Petrino - Where will he go next? Arkansas faithful are pissed about 2-2 record..
3. Wuzzles - just because....
4. Satan - as soon as he loses a game with "superior" talent to someone he shouldn't
5. Richy Richt - How can you lose to Bama with SUPERIOR TALENT? (See what I mean about the SEC?)

Games of the Week


1. RED RIVER SHOOTOUT - Or whatever they call it...Texas and Oklahoma. I liked the Laters initially...But I think maybe the Mac Attack with the Real McCoy might prevail...

2. THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Clemson Vs. Wake Forest - this could be the game where Skip ends up number one on the list for the Clemson Job...

3. LMU at GATORLAND: Not as big a game after Gatorland lost to Ole Miss, but a must see none the less....

4. PSU at the CHEESEHEADS: A little luster fell off this game, but a key Big 10 matchup.



Till next Week....



MMQ

MICHIGAN Sucks.....

Down 19-0 with 5 minutes gone in the 3rd quarter, I turned the game off and decided to do something more productive with my time than watch the lowly Wolverines and college football in general….

SIC!!!!!!!!

WHAT A GAME!!! Readers, I know I have been off a little in recent weeks due to the depression of losing to the much hated Domers and the Wolverines looking like they are running a sand lot offense – and not very well at that – and I was getting mighty discouraged. But this game, this comeback, this memory of memories over the Cheeseheads will last for awhile. At least until the next loss.

Observations on this game:

1. Steven Threet – Learned that the odds of the receiver ACTUALLY CATCHING the ball increase exponentially when he throws it close to them.
2. DEFENSE – This defense, when faced with a one dimensional offense, will be difficult to score against. The image of Thompson running into the endzone with what looked like guys off the bench – there were that many team mates surrounding him – told me that we are going to be tough to score on in the coming weeks.
3. Rich Rod is finally starting to let the square pegs fit into square holes vs. trying to drive square pegs into round holes.

Wow. I was on the edge of my seat and I wasn’t sure what to think when everything started falling in place. I started to think maybe the Cheeseheads just weren’t that good, but then I saw something else. I noticed on TV that Michigan started to “look” faster than the cheeseheads. The defensive line was getting to the backs and into the backfield quickly. I am starting the think the Rich Rod and Barwis workout regimens are paying off. You can’t see it as much on offense, but on defense, it was pretty obvious….

Another thing is that Rich Rod and the offense started to go to the pass near the end of the 3rd quarter and Threet actually started playing like a decent Big 10 QB. I think it was that threat that opened up the defense for his 58 yard scamper. So The Rod needs to understand that if you need to take what they are giving and let your offense work.

So, while many sports writers will say this was a coming of age game for Rich Rod and the team has arrived and yadda-yadda-yadda, I think it was a good game and for the 500th game in the Big House, a Big Win is always good. But this team still has a lot to prove, but I am excited about Michigan Football Again. So, that's good.

The Rest of the Mess

RUBBERS – BEAVERS: First, USC = OVERRATED! Yes, I watched the Thursday night drama and almost sent out a Friday update with the headline “TROJAN GOT LOST IN BEAVER home stadium”, but I was afraid that this game might be the only interesting thing to write about come Monday, so I waited. Shouldn’t have waited. There were PLENTY of upsets to talk about, including

GATROLAND – OVERRATED! Let me get this straight. Herbie, who I am losing a lot of respect for, states that while Ole Miss is good and Houston Nutt is a great coach, the athletes of Gatorland in the swamp will overwhelm the rebels and Florida will win easily. After the UPSET, Herbie says that Ole Miss was a lot better than anyone thought they were and had only lost two games on two plays and could be undefeated right now….Is that a guy trying to
A. Build up Ole Miss or
B. Make a case that Florida lost to a Great Team so his National Championship prediction can stay in the BCS hunt….

Methinks the answer is B.

PUPPY DOGS – OVERRATED! IF you recall, the MMQ had a hard time accepting the whole Georgia thing. They lost late last year to the Cremesicles and while they had some impressive wins this year, they hadn’t played a quality team yet. In comes Satan with a fired up Bama squad and absolutely crushes the Puppy Dogs. My guess is Georgia does not only not win the SEC East, but they are out of any BCS picture at this point. The RACE for Skip Holtz is on!

CREMESICLES: What can I say. They want Fullmer’s head this morning on every website and radio station inside Tennessee’s borders. My guess is Fullmer either announces that he will retire this year of the administration is going to have to perform the ugly task of canning him to maintain ticket sales. Even though they won the SEC East last year, in the “what have you done for me lately” SEC, you are only as good as your last win. Currently in 2nd place for Holtz...

CLEMSON – OVERRATED! Well, Tommy Bowden might also be looking for a job today. That was NOT a game he could afford to lose and the ACC is once again wide open for whoever wants to win it.

DOMERS: Well, you won a game I thought you would lose. I guess the thumping MSU put on you taught you a think or two.

SPARTY: Last but not least, in a classic letdown situation, Sparty showed that they have kicked some bad habits. Number 1 concern: Hoyer has to get a lot better. If Ringer goes down this season, Sparty has problems.

BIG TEN: Who would have believed these standings 5 weeks in:
Northwestern 5-0
OSU
MSU
Michigan

SEC EAST:
VANDERBILT
Everybody else……


HOT-HOT-HOT

1. Fullmer – a 1-3 record 4 games in is not a way to start any SEC season at any school
2. Tommy Bowden – Had bought some time after the Alabama loss, but losing to Maryland hurts and 2-2 gets you knocked out of the top 25….

Hot Seat

1. Willingham – Tough spot for a coach – bye week without a win…
2. Ferentz – People can’t be happy with this guy right now.
3. Wuzzles
4. Satan – sure, they love him now, but wait till he loses one he’s not supposed to
5. Zook – Illinois fans are probably thinking they have a better team than 2-2 and they should have beat either PSU or Missouri.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

Illini at MICHIGAN: Look for a pissed off Illini squad to come into the Big House looking for a Big 10 win…
IOWA at MSU: Same thing….Sparty could get caught with their pants down.
Missouri at Nebraska: Look for Nebraska to make a statement in the Big 12
Oregon at Southern Cal: If the BEAVERS can do it, so can the DUCKS!
OSU at Cheeseheads: Are they both overrated?