Monday, October 27, 2008

MOO U Gets Lucky In the BIG HOUSE

MOO U Finds Luck in the Big House

God….To think I was at the game the last time MSU beat us in the Big House and Desmond Howard was mugged in the end zone on what would have been the winning two point conversion, and now I had to witness this game in what can only be remembered as the (insert your own superlative adjective here) season in the history of Michigan Football.

Rich Rod just plain doesn’t get it, and I am starting to get a lot of positive re-inforcement from the games that support the hypothesis that he’s not a very good coach. Rosenberg had a great article in Sunday’s wrap, and I will summarize: How does a team that lost 3 starters on defense and finished ranked 23rd in the country overall on defense manage to go so far down as to be ranked in the triple digits on defense? Now, I know the offense IS NOT HELPING MATTERS. However, I expect more from Michigan Defenses….And this is NOT a Michigan Defense. What the hell do the coaches do with this team during the week? At least we had the vision to see that Morgan Trent isn’t that great of a corner and we yanked him…..But, Jeez, we really, really suck….

Record: 2-6. Let that sink in for a minute…..We were laughing at the Domers (rightly so) for a 3 win season….I am looking at the next four games and frankly, I can’t find one where I think we are better than 50-50% at winning……Yep, a lot like the ole stock market, it’s going to get a LOT WORSE before it gets any better….

So, Sparty – do you fade after this victory or do you make New Year’s Day? Time will tell….

THIS JUST IN: Did anyone else know that RICH ROD HADN’T SIGNED HIS CONTRACT UNTIL FRIDAY???? Yeah, me neither….Should have canned him before we let him sign…Fire Martin and Coleman for that F-up………

The Rest of the Mess

AUBURN AT WVU (Thursday): This game wasn’t even close….Tubberville (Two Tone) is back on the hot seat after the egg they laid in Morganton….

PSU KITTIES – SUCKEYES: Well, there was at least ONE good thing that happened Saturday….The Suckeyes lost, too. That was a great game and love seeing the tears in the Suckeye Fan’s eyes after their beloved Nuts Crack like a brittle bone when they have to play a good team in the National Spotlight….Beware Michigan, Suckeye Nation….We will be coming to the shoe with nothing to lose….

SHORTHORNS – OKIE STATE: Texas doesn’t miss a beat and handles Okie State, but it was a game to the finish….Texas Tech Looms on the horizon….

SATAN vs. CREMESICLES: Yep…Fire Fullmer has to be a statewide mantra at this point…Phil needed to beat one of the new guys and he was creamed by all of them….

PUPPY DOGS – LMU: Okay, okay….Maybe I am voting too much with my heart this year and not my head….But how does a team get taken to the woodshed by Satan Nation and then just rip up LMU at HOME???? Maybe Les isn’t as good a coach as I thought, either….

VIRGINIA – Georgia Tech: Al Groh DOES IT AGAIN! I figured the Wramblin’ Wreck would have pounded these guys….I guess Groh is off the hot seat, so I need a replacement…Maybe

HOAKIES – FSU: BEAMER! You mean to tell me you guys COULDN’T PUT THE FINAL NAIL in the Bowden Boys coffin and beat Bobby at FSU? Sheesh……I mean, how long a bye does Beamer get before Hokie Nation gets restless?

GATORLAND - Kentucky: Wow – What exactly did the Wildcats do to piss you off? Urban usually doesn’t run it up, either….Was this to get Tebow back on top of the Heismann voting?

DOMERS: Byes are nice….. Oh wait, you played someone….It was a scrimmage, let me think…Oh yeah, I guess you got your former Coach Willingham fired again…Maybe…No reports as of yet…


1. It has to get better…It has to get better….It has to get better…It has to get better..
2. There is always next year….There is always next year…There is always next year..
3. At least we had 1997…At least we had 1997…At least we had 1997….
4. So, in the spirit of finding schools to root for based on their team’s performance and how their fans inspire me, well, I do like Alabama…But I HATE THEIR COACH!

5. I like the Chaps, but not at the Rose Bowl….So, therefore, we can’t root for Texas…


This week’s HOT SEAT MASCOT: Actress and MICHIGAN FAN Felicity Huffman…Anyone who supports the Maize and Blue get’s a shot as the Hot Seat Mascot…

And, well, she can eat crackers in the Big House Any time!

2. Fullmer – You can’t lose to Urban, Satan, and Richy Rich all in the same season and expect to keep your job…
3. Wilingham – A great guy…May be gone before I go to post…..
4. Tommy Tutone – No Conference Title, Bowl is questionable….
5. RICH ROD – Yep. Honorary Seat. Pissing me off will get you on this list….


1. Ferentz – demoted to make room for the Rod…
2. Bill & Mary Sue– They are on this list until Michigan proves they made the right decision….
3. The Ole Ball Coach - If his team loses to Fullmer’s Cremesicles…Well, they will be squawking for his head, too…..

Games of the WEEK
1. SHORT HORNS vs. TEXAS TECH : Will the upstart and BCS 6th ranked Red Raiders find a way to take McCoy down a notch?
2. CORNSUCKERS AT LATERS: Remember when this game meant something? Kind of Like Michigan - MSU.....But the Suckers and Laters care, I know....
3. PITT at DOMERS: I am not sold on the Domers this year...They finally get another test...
5. MICHIGAN vs. SPOILERMAKERS: In a Battle of Ineptitude, two Big Ten teams kick punts at each other until somebody screws up a snap and makes the final score 2-0.

Monday, October 20, 2008

PSU and U of Stink

Well, I have to admit – I am starting to feel like a jinx. Unable to bear what I thought was going to be a brutal first half of football, I agreed to join my wife and girls on a Pumpkin Patch Adventure at the Cider Mill. After running into some friends and helping them with their locked in the car keys dilemma, I was able to walk by the kettle corn stand and heard the game on. I asked the guy for the score.

“10 –nothing.” So, in my head I thought, “That’s not so bad.” Then he said, “Michigan.” That’s when I about lost it and said, “You have got to be kidding me.” “Nope. Michigan’s up and they are in control of the game.”

Now, I can’t tell you what happened from the time I actually heard that, got a report from several other fans, and then finally got home and turned on the TV, but when I started watching, Michigan looked like the same sand lot football team that I watched stink it up against Toledo with Sheridan throwing to a lineman out of the end zone for a safety. Nice.

I thought about turning it off, but then I realized that I had the same thoughts during the Wisconsin game. I decided to leave it on and it continued to get uglier and uglier. I don’t know what else to add or say from what’s already been said. I am glad we found Brandon Minor and he’s showing some leadership and getting tough yards. The defense, when I saw them, looked atrocious.

But is PSU worthy of a BCS #3 ranking at this point? I don’t think so….over rated, even though we couldn’t handle them….

But at least Sparty lost….I don’t know how I missed so bad on that prediction and let’s dive into

The Rest of the Mess

SPARTY – SUCKEYES: Sparty, Sparty, Sparty. I hate to use the SOS term, but, jeez, you guys sure seem to know exactly when to have a really bad game – and even worse execution. I was thinking that the Suckeyes were weak and vulnerable, and you made them look like national title contenders again. Turnovers, sloppy tackling, and you lost your QB – for what that’s worth…. Maybe Dantonio isn’t the coach I thought he was. I was expecting more….I actually think we can beat you if you show up to Ann Arbor looking like that….

SHORTHORNS – MIZZOU: I’ll admit, I liked Missouri a lot in this game. More than I probably should have, but I still thought Chase Daniel and company would bounce back and steal this one from an over exuberant Texas team….Once again, I was wrong……BIG TIME…

RUBBERS – WAZOO: Apparently, WSU does not have a team this year, so you go to their stadium, run a practice, and then decide what you want your score to be….

CLEMSON – GEORGIA TECH: So, Tommy Bowden is Fired/Quits (Pick your own word here – I still can’t figure it out after reading the reports) on Monday and Tech drives another nail into the continuously over rated Tigers season….My guess is they might not make a bowl at this point making pre-season rankings look even sillier….Can we just stop ranking them until the 5th week of the season?

VIRGINIA – NORTH CAROLINA: I think Al Groh must have been a cat in a different life….He finds a way to beat North Carolina and keep himself off the hot seat….

HOAKIES – BC: OOOPS! Boston College can still play without Matty Ryan….Hoakies out of the drivers seat in the ACC Atlantic….

LMU – USC: Les beats the Ole Ball Coach and further confirms that Spurrier is probably done after this season….

GATORLAND: Byes are nice….I think you are over rated in the BCS rankings, however…But time will tell…

DOMERS: Byes are nice…..


1. I wonder if PSU has ever considered adding some color to their Uniforms? I mean, they are classic and all, but still….Blue and White gets a little boring…..

2. If a Suckeye shows up at your stadium and starts making noise, does anyone really pay attention?

3. If I were a fan without an allegiance, what school would I root for? Yes, LSU looks nice…Those are some nice Golden Girls…And they have all those night games to give you a chance to get something done during the day…Or drink more at the tailgate – I don’t know which.

4. Of course, MSU’s cheerleaders aren’t as pretty as they used to be – but they “Yo Quiero Taco Bell!”


This week’s HOT SEAT Mascot: Actress and recent breast cancer survivor Christina Applegate. I sure hope the reconstructive surgery can save her natural assets….The Bundy Reunion show just wouldn’t be the same…

2. Fullmer – I don’t see how he keeps his job at the end of the year
3. Wilingham – if the Domers beat him…Well, he was a nice guy, but I don’t think anyone will pick him up now – not as a head coach
4. Groh – How does this guy manage to eek out a win when he needs one?
5. Ferentz – Yeah, he beat Wisconsin, but had to suspend his kid for drinking…How long will Iowa Fan put up with his shenanigans?


RICH ROD – Yes, there is a fire Rich Rod Website….Do I subscribe to that theory that you should can this guy right now? No. But if it ain’t happening next year and the effort – COACHING EFFORT – continues to suck, then, by all means
Bill Martin – Yeah, I know he’s not a coach. Can him anyway…..
The Ole Ball Coach – He’s quitting or getting fired at the end of the season… just a hunch…

Games of the WEEK

Michigan - SPARTY: I like Michigan….Sparty, you don’t have a QB and it shows
THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Auburn at WVU….Should be a good one…
PUPPY DOGS at LMU: I like Les and I don’t like the Puppies…
OSU at Texas: We will see if Okie State is for real…
Bama at Cremesicles: The Waterloo of Fullmer begins...
PSU at SUCKEYES: Game of the Week for the Big 10….Well, at least one of them loses….

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Burnt By a ROCKET

Humility, or being humble, is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others.

Okay – I get it now. Sometimes, no matter how good you think your program or team has been “HISTORICALLY”, things can change in a New York Minute….The thing is, I am not even sure how it got this bad this quickly. I understand that there are players that left and transferred, etc, but, come on, this is ridiculous. You mean to tell me we don’t have enough talent to at least BE COMPETITIVE against a 1-4 MAC team that Ball State hung 30 points on the week before?

I am not even going to comment on this game except to say that I felt things were going bad in the 3rd quarter and we were on a train wreck waiting to happen…You know that Kevin Bacon Clip from “She’s Having a Baby” when his wife tells him she stopped taking the pill? That’s what I felt like…..

Sometimes when I am walking out of the stadium, I listen to the fans. They weren’t saying much. Then we listened at to some of the post game at the tailgate until I got sick of that. I explained to my daughter when I got home why Michigan lost. And I told her the head coach blamed injuries and not having the team ready to play. And then Ashley said:

“Dad! You always tell us that excuses are for losers and that winners find a way to win! That’s what you always tell us in softball. Is Michigan making excuses?”

And it dawned on me. She’s right. I never heard the Michigan coaching staff before now blame injuries or other trivial issues on winning and losing. However, this seems to be the excuse regime. Well, I for one will have none of it. If I wasn’t off the Rich Rod Band Wagon before, I am now. I feel like we overspent on a younger version of John L. Smith…….

The Rest of the Mess

OK. There’s a real good chance you guys might have a shot at the Big 10 this year. OSU will be tough, but you have them at home. Uh, Sparty and Fans – 1 question: HOW CAN THERE STILL BE TICKETS AVAILABLE FOR THIS GAME? ARE YOU FANS OR WHAT?????

DOMERS – BUTCH DAVIS: As much as the ZEBRAS tried to give you the game and a chance to win, UNC found a way to offset those clowns and preserve the victory. Wuzzles is moving up on the hot seat list, again….(By the way, I saw the Mighty Quinn introducing McCain and he did a great job– He’s a class guy. So, maybe – MAYBE – I’ll cut him a little slack…)

LATERS – SHORTHORNS: I blew this call…I really thought Stupor would defeat the MAC attack but they couldn’t put it all together…And not rushing the ball is no way for a LATER team to play….

GATORLAND – LMU: URBAN LEGEND! Wow…I blew this one, too. I had seen Gatorland play several times this year and Urban seemed to have forgotten half the playbook with the exception of Run Tim Right, Run Tim Left, Let Tim Pass on 3rd down…..Well, against LMU, I saw running backs carrying the ball and Tebow passing on first down of all things. LMU will be back, but Gatorland seems to want it this year.

PSU – CHEESEHEADS: Great. Just lovely. PSU hangs 48 on the Frauds and now MICHIGAN is a 24 Point early dog in Happy Valley…That’s just great….Just great….What else can go wrong? Wait – I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!

MZZOU – OKSTATE: Wow – Didn’t see this one coming, either. I figured Daniels and Co. would handle these guys easy….

CORNSUCKERS – TTECH: OT and lose….Too bad, so sad…Pelini will get them back, but it will take years. The question is: Is Rich Rod the Callahan equivalent?

CLEMSON: HAHAHAHAHAHA…..Tommy Bowden should be looking for a job today….Wake did them in on Thursday Night….

HOAKIES: Survive and thrive in the ACC…It must be nice to be in a weak conference…OK, that might have sounded like a shot, but C’mon, I am the MMQ…

CREMESICLES: Maybe Tennessee and Michigan could get together on New Year’s Day and just play a game between two of the largest stadium teams to see which one sucks less……

Random Thoughts

1. The student body of Florida has some good times.....Say, do they call this a GATOR Shot down there or what?

2. Why Can't MICHIGAN WIN??? WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT CAN BE DONE TO STOP THIS? (That's my inner monologue that plays in my head during my conscious hours...The unconscious hours are worse....It's more like a nightmare...)

3. Maybe I could root for a good team instead. Problem is, who do you pick? I have always like the USC Cheerleader outfits....I don't know why??

Could it Be WHAT'S INISDE?

Could be.........

THIS WEEK'S HOT SEAT MASCOT: Teri Hatcher....Actress, Swimmer and Sagitarius that shares her sign with the MMQ...

SUPER HOT-HOT-HOT Seat - Or the Race for Skip Holtz

1. Phillip Fulmer
2. Tommy Bowden
3. Greg Robinson
4. Ty Willingham
5. Kirk Ferentz
6. Al Groh

Getting WARMER

1. The Ole Ball Coach
2. Wuzzles
3. Satan - Iknow, he didn't even play this week...I just don't like the guy...


1. MICHIGAN AT PSU: This could get ugly FAST....I am a little nervous that they will hang 100 on us...
2. VANDY AT PUPPYDDOGS: I think Vandy could rebound and beat Richy Rich...I am picking the upsets this week...
3. KANSAS AT LATERS: Okay - maybe not ALL THE Upsets...I think the Laters bounce back and get this one...
4. SUCKEYES AT SPARTY: All Right Sparty - I said I was taking the upsets...You better win.



Michigan and the Illini

Observations from the Game:

That's a good trick!

One of my daughter’s favorite comments when I am verbally “lamenting” my team’s performance, throwing objects at the TV and I’m in a generally crappy mood:

“Daddy, is it still ‘Great to Be a Michigan Wolverine’”

I have to remind her that, yes, it is Great to be a Michigan Wolverine…Just not always. At least it’s better to be a losing Wolverine than a winning Domer….

Thoughts and Observations from the Game:

1. I usually find something to take away fom every game. This one is tough. QB Play – Horrible. O-line play – Horrible. Running back- IF THESE CLOWNS DROP THE BALL ONE MORE TIME…..
2. I am not sure I can make it through the learning curve of the Rich Rod Offensive era without losing my mind…It’s just not going to be easy…
3. Does Rich Rod realize that EVERYONE looks at a down Michigan team as an opportunity to get YEAR’S of revenge back for teams that have never beat the Wolverines?
4. Is Zookie that good? I mean, Juice Williams is good….But is Zook that good of coach? I’m not so sure…
5. I now know what it’s like to have a really crappy team and not a whole lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Frankly, Toledo makes me nervous.
6. Wait a minute - We came back against a Wisconsin team that nearly beat OSU at home this week….So, does that make us better than what we appeared on Saturday, or is OSU not as good as advertised? Interesting…
7. McGuffy could be good if someone would friggin’ block for him.
8. I about threw up when Odom fumbled the kick-off. I thought we were done with that.
9. Pass – then run. Rich Rod…..Pass, then run…
10. Maybe our Defense isn’t that great, either….
11. I guess I do wish we would have won the Terrel Pryor Sweepstakes now…
12. Citrus and Outback bowl officials were sad that they wouldn’t be able to welcome Michigan to their bowls this year. I just hope we make the – Dare I utter the words – Motor City Bowl?

Okay – that’s out of the way. Yes, Michigan lost. And I allowed myself to think that something happened against Wisconsin….Which maybe it did, maybe it didn’t.

On to the Rest of the Mess

SPARTY: Took care of the Hawkeyes at home. Don’t worry that it wasn’t pretty…Nobody cares come bowl time…

DOMERS: I thought Jimmy Harbaugh would come in with a better game plan to knock Clausen off his game. But, that’s the way the Domer bounces. Just when you thought they could lose to someone, they show up.

GATORLAND: Yeah, you can pummel Arkansas…Still doesn’t erase the fact that you lost to Ole Miss….

VANDY COMMODORES! – Congrats! Beating Auburn and going 5-0 for the first time since Ike was president is impressive.

CORNSUCKERS: Pelini has a LONG way to go to restore the Black Shirt Defense to where it once was…and he knows it…Even if one of his players did hock a loogie on Daniel…

CREMESICLES: Really establishing themselves with a 13-6 win over Noerthern Illinois….but a win is a win…

BAMA: Got a scare from Kentucky…Could have easily gone the other way…

HOAKIES: Won the game, lost key players….Injury bug is hitting Hoakies hard.

1. Vanderbilt

Did you ever THINK you would see that in OCTOBER????

Idle Thoughts While Watching the Rest of the Day's Games

1. Why can't the ACC maintain a good conference? They have the Ocean, weather, for the most part, and old, storied institutions....

2. For that matter, why can't FSU recruit better? It can't be that the local talent isn't helping....

It must Be Bobby Bowden's Fault.......

3. Hoakies could own the ACC if they wanted to...But can't seem to get it done

4. What about the Big 12? Are they going to start the Dominant Conference Claim and challenge the SEC for superiority? Especially when Vanderbilt is leading the charge in the SEC East....

5. Will the Big 10 EVER have any respect again? OSU keeps screwing that up...Michigan held up there end of the deal by Beating Gatorland and Urban Legend.

6. I wonder what ever happend to Schlister?

7. Great College QB's are not necessarily Great Pro QB's....But I foresee Chase Daniel in a - dare I say it - Lion's Jersey?

8. And that could be a Good Thing....

9. Can State get to a BCS game this year? That would be a first for them...And would beat my prediction that Michigan Men's Basketball would make the Sweet 16 before State made a BCS Bowl....Nutz.....


Just to make sure you are all still reading this - and reading TO THE END: I think it's time to start adding some nonsense to the drivel for a little Monday Morning Wake Me Up (And is also a GREAT Mascot for the HOT SEAT-Pun Intended):

Gemma Atkinson - English Actress and Lingerie Model, Likes Beer and MICHIGAN FOOTBALL!

SUPER HOT-HOT-HOT Seat - Or the Race for Skip Holtz (Thanks partly to USA Today for Stats)

1. Phillip Fulmer, Tennessee 1-3 148-48 (17th season)
2. Tommy Bowden, Clemson 3-2 72-44 (10th season)
3. Greg Robinson, Syracuse 1-4 8-32 (4th season)
4. Ty Willingham, Washington 0-4 11-29 (4th season)
5. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa 3-2 64-51 (10th season)
6. Al Groh, Virginia 1-3 52-40 (8th season)

Getting WARMER

1. The Ole Ball Coach - South Carolina
2. Petrino - Where will he go next? Arkansas faithful are pissed about 2-2 record..
3. Wuzzles - just because....
4. Satan - as soon as he loses a game with "superior" talent to someone he shouldn't
5. Richy Richt - How can you lose to Bama with SUPERIOR TALENT? (See what I mean about the SEC?)

Games of the Week

1. RED RIVER SHOOTOUT - Or whatever they call it...Texas and Oklahoma. I liked the Laters initially...But I think maybe the Mac Attack with the Real McCoy might prevail...

2. THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: Clemson Vs. Wake Forest - this could be the game where Skip ends up number one on the list for the Clemson Job...

3. LMU at GATORLAND: Not as big a game after Gatorland lost to Ole Miss, but a must see none the less....

4. PSU at the CHEESEHEADS: A little luster fell off this game, but a key Big 10 matchup.

Till next Week....