Monday, November 5, 2012

Great Big Gobs of Greasy Slimy Gopher Guts!

Sorry..Couldn’t resist the Caddyshack re-set in today’s title entry. Bill Murray has forever doomed the Gophers to a punchline in the B1G until they can somehow find a way to win on a regular basis.

Michigan played a great game in a must win situation which is really all you need to say about Saturday. But, (there’s always a “But” with the MMQ isn’t there?) there was SO MUCH more that happened Saturday in Minnesota that needs to be discussed.

First, Devin had a great game. Cinderella Story?

Not so much…..Yes. He is a good QB. We KNEW that two years ago. So, for everyone that was surprised that he came out and did what he did…Well, I’m not sure what you were watching when he played that position before. According to the reports, Devin did what he was asked and what he wanted to do when he moved to wide receiver. He was helping the team and he was going to see more playing time. Plain and simple.

Bellomy (and I will stand by this statement until everyone beats it out of me) played as well as he possibly could have against the Husker Defense. If Devin had gone in against the Huskers, I’m not sure anything changes….But, the MMQ will admit that the question certainly crossed my mind and it’s unfortunate that we will never know the answer to the question: What could or would have happened if Devin played the 2nd half in Lincoln?

And unfortunately, that Husker defeat is starting to loom larger and larger due to the fact that Michigan is running out of teams that legitimately have a shot at beating Nebraska which would put them back in the driver’s seat of the B1G Legends division. (Thanks for NOTHING Sparty…More on that in a minute).

As for the Gophers? Well, you really don’t want to beat up on a team and a coach like this (I like Kill, I really do), you just feel like you owed it to them….

And this will be the last time I reference a movie this much in any post! Maybe….But ya gotta' love Caddyshack!

BCS Mess

Oh…What could have BEEN! Two teams in the top 5 looked like they were going DOWN on Saturday. In fact, it was kind of sad when Pitt missed that field goal in the 2nd OT and gave the Domers new hope. What was REALLY sad was the drive at the end of the game that let the Domers score and then convert the 2 point conversion. They say a champion is tested at some point late in the season by someone they didn’t see coming. Michigan had Ball State in 1997. Was this the Domer wake-up call? The Hatter outcoached and stupid called himself into the LSU loss….The Tigers had that game. So, where does that leave the BCS standings? Now with the “points” for each of the top 5:

1. Satan’s Warriors (0.996): No surprise here. Until they are beat, they’re in the Championship.
2. K-State (0.932): Okie State tried, but K-State proved who the “real Men” were on the field Staurday.
3. DUCKS(0.917): Got the Power Win they needed against USC. And the covered and they beat the Spread! Look out for the Ducks. This is the team on a mission this year….
4. DOMERS (0.905): Water eventually seeks its own level. While Pitt provided the challenge, I believe there is now some doubt in Domer land as to how good this team really is.
5. Georgia (0.817): Just in case they win out, the pollsters want to keep these guys up there…
6. GATORLAND: Told you….Gatorland can only be a spoiler…
7. LSU: Two losses and they only drop to 7? Is this an SEC conspiracy I smell?
8. USC…Same here….The Ole Ball Coach is paying somebody?
9. Louisville: Enjoy It. Charlie Strong will be coaching in the SEC next Season…
10. Florida State: Needs LOTS OF HELP

The Rest of the Mess – Or “THANKS FOR NUTHIN’” TEAMS!

Sparty vs. Huskers: When Nebraska got the ball back near the end of the game, I honestly believed that the MSU “D” was going to rise to the occasion. Unfortunately, they fell flat. Was it a result of bad calls? Could be…But there was still an opportunity there to shut the Huskers down. However, I will say that if I WAS a Sparty fan, I would be calling the B1G refereeing office this AM and filing a complaint…Again, Sparty, thanks for nothing and to all those fans that texted me the, “Oh well, at least Michigan won’t be in the Title Game” texts…This goes to show you EXACTLY why you’re the biggest losers in the game of football. Well.... the "world needs Ditch Diggers, too!"

BAMA vs. LSU: The Hatter calls for a fake field goal in the first half when LSU is still in the game and frankly, in control. Why do that there? Can someone explain that to me? Then, again, with their top rated defensive unit on the field and a QB that no one thinks is all that great facing them, they let Bama drive 80 yards in 47 seconds to score? WTF….Thanks for nothing, Les…..

Pitt vs. Domers: This one made me sick. And as was texted to me, who WOULDN’T pay money to be in the ESPN studios watching this annual match-up with Mark May (Pitt Grad) and Lou Holtz (Former underachieving HC of Domers)? Pitt was OH SO CLOSE and couldn’t hang on…and then that missed chip shot in OT? Kind of like missing a 3-footer....Doncha' think?

Ducks vs. USC: Anyone who has followed the Ducks this year knows that USC really didn’t have much of a chance, but when the Trojans started scoring, it woke everyone up to the fact that maybe, just maybe…There was a chance. But then reality set in and it became apparent that, no, USC was not going to come close to pulling off the impossible…Thanks for nothing….But we weren’t expecting it, anyway.

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-Devin Starting?
-DeRob is hurt worse than anyone thought…
-Or, he didn’t practice as much.
-Hoke is hedging his bets this week…..
-Meaning, he knows that Devin can go out and win this game.
-And that gets him some experience in case…
-I won’t type it, but you know…Just in case.
-Obviously, the Bellomy just in case scenario wasn’t that pleasing…
-But that’s a tough scenario for ANY QB.
-That’s the last I’m going to say on that.
-Huskers - Michigan Game is over….
-Sparty is going to pull this off for Michigan!
-I was actually starting to like them again…
-The Pass interference on Sparty was an awful call.
-I believe B1G refereeing is pretty bad this year.
-Minnesota got called for one that, well, I could have seen it going either way.
-Meaning a “no call”.
-Meaning: Unless you’re tackling the guy because you know you’re beat, it should be allowed.
-Doncha’ think?
-I know Sparty does.
-So, who’s left on the Husker Schedule?
-PSU – Loss doesn’t necessarily help Michigan, Minnesota (gag) and Iowa (There’s a chance.)
-Michigan: Kitty Kats, Iowa, Suckeyes - Need to win them all…
-Come on PITT!
-Oh Pitt…What are you doing now?
-Don’t collapse when this is so much within your reach!
-Okay – make this chip shot and SHOCK THE WORLD!
-Jeez…Luck of the Irish..My ass.
-I hate how smug Lou Holtz gets on Game Day Final when talking about the Domers.
-It makes me want to puke…
-How does Mark May not deck him?
-He should get an ESPY award for just keeping himself in check sitting next to Lou.
-Duckies are waddling all over Kiffin’s team.
-Chip Kelly is going to win a National Title.
-Just a matter of time.
-Will the SEC come knocking?
-Wouldn’t that be a slap in Oregon’s face?

The Hot Seat

You guys amaze me, you really do. Not only does this week’s mascot not hold serve, Lacey Chabert (Last week’s nominee) comes through in FLYING COLORS with the HIGHEST VOTE TOTAL of the season to take the number 1 spot in the Hot Seat Mascot Finals! Just when I thought I knew it all…..

As for this week’s mascot, she first caught my eye years ago when she starred opposite Bruce Willis in the 5th Element. Then, the Resident Evil franchise made her a household name. Yes, I played the game and I see the movies for one reason: Mila Jovovich!


Well, we can add another name to the gone list…I didn’t have Joker Phillips high on the Hot Seat due to the lower profile of Kentucky, but he’s gone anyway.

1. Gene Chizik: Losing to the Hawgs AND MSU in the same year gets you on the list…National Championships be damned! Question is: Who does Aburn, actually, anyone get if they fire the guys on this list? Petrino?
2. John L Smith – He’s only on a 10 month contract, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they canned him before then…To hire….WHO?
3. Derek Dooley: Needs a MAJOR win in the SEC
4. Mack Brown: I know, I know. But you didn’t think they would fire Joe Pa, either. Believe the MMQ when I say that his retirement or canning is nearer than you think…
5. Frank Spaziani: BC is a proud school that doesn’t get a lot of attention…. Until you lose to ARMY….And get a new AD looking to make a name for himself.
6. The Old Ball Coach: Can’t lose to your Alma Mater by double digits and not feel some heat.
6. (Tie) Paul Johnson. GT’s season has been an up and down roller coaster and losing to Middle Tennessee State should have had him on the list earlier…But he’s here now.
7. Pasqualoni – UCONN This team has not gotten better and only gotten a LOT worse since their Fiesta Bowl appearance two years ago…
8. Randy Edsall: Maryland is going to start thinking that with the ACC as screwed up as it is, why aren’t we winning more football games?
9. Kevin Wilson: But can Indiana really expect much more? Really?
10. Brett Beilema – Wiscy. His fans have expectations now. Losing to MSU at home?
11. Tedford


1. Avey - Idaho
2. Phillips – Kentucky


Repeat after me (Assuming you’re a gambler): WE LOVE THE DUCKS! WE LOVE THE DUCKS! Not a bad weekend for the FMQ and there’s now a real good chance that we can end up on the positive side of the chart with a few more well placed bets before the end of the year!

Texas Tech (+7) vs. Texas: This one was SO CLOSE….
Take Texas Tech and the 7 for $40 - LOSE

Stanford (-27.5) @ Colorado: I think we will continue to ride the Colorado wagon for the rest of the season! In the bad way, I mean!
Take Stanford and lay the 27.5 for $30 – WIN! BANK: $57

Cornhuskers @ Sparty (-1.5 Monday….2.5 Today): Jeez Sparty….You lose and you can’t even cover at home? THANKS FOR NOTHIN’!
Take Sparty and the 2.5 for $30 - LOSE

Oregon (-7) @ USC (Today -8): Hee-hee….This is a great thing. I love to watch Lane Kiffin lose. Don’t know why. But I really like to see him lose and win a bet on it at the same time!
Take the Ducks and lay the 8.5 for $80 – WIN! BANK: $152
Take the Over (70) for $70 – WIN! BANK: $133

Pitt (+17.5) @ Domers: Why didn’t I trust my instincts and take Pitt here? Nuts….

BAMA @ LSU (+8.5): Well, at least the Hatter covered….
Take LSU and the 8.5 for $30 – WIN! BANK: $57

Michigan (-11) @ Minnesota: Looking like a GENIUS now…Wile E. Coyote…Genius, that is!
Take Michigan and lay the 11 for $50 – WIN! BANK: $95

Starting Bank:    $447.50
Total WIN:         $494
BANK:               $941.50

Monday Morning Line

Domers @ BC (+18.5): Man, based on the past years, this game is always close…But can the Boston Catholics keep it that close?

Wiscy (-6.5) @ Indiana: I KNOW this is for the Leaders Division race…But Indiana only getting 6.5? Seems a little light…

NWU (-11) @ MICHIGAN: And this SEEMS REALLY HEAVY for a team that almost beat Nebraska and seems to play Michigan tough every year. But who will be the QB?

Duckies (-27.5) @ CAL: Tedford’s swan song?

Georgia (-14) @ Auburn: Really? I mean….Jeez….I guess I’m a Dawg fan here.

Texas A&M (+14) @ Bama: I think I like A&M here getting all those points. Aggies have NOTHING to lose…Bama coming off emotional win.

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