Monday, November 10, 2014

Was This a Baseball Score???

I’m at a loss at times after games like this to come up with something…anything, that’s remotely remarkable about the game that, as a Michigan fan, you are obligated to watch.  However, I will admit that my clicker was getting quite a workout as I kept flipping to see how Everett Gholson was going to score for Arizona State next and also figure out if Auburn was ever going to show up in their own stadium.  But more on ALL THAT in a minute.

The result of the Michigan game if you’re a Michigan fan is almost perfect.  They won, but the performance was so agonizingly putrid that it left a bitter taste in every Michigan Fan’s mouth that I know and should have removed any and all doubt that Brady Hoke needs to go.  Here’s the MooN shot that every twitter account and sports blog posted at half-time of the game. 

Yes, it’s safe to say that Michigan and Northwestern showed their asses on Saturday.  But at least NWU had an excuse.

No argument:  Michigan’s Defense has played the last two games like warriors on a mission.  Michigan’s Defense has faced two of the worst offenses of the B1G in the last two games, also, so please keep that in mind before you start singing any “Save Hoke” praises.  A Michigan Defense should look like that when the opposing team is literally starting walk-ons on their offensive line.

It’s still the offense and the overall execution of the offense that truly baffles me.  Why are guys not catching balls that hit them in the hands?  Why are running backs still not seeing holes that are so painfully obvious to the masses that are watching this team week in and week out?  They HAVE TO SEE THIS STUFF on film…Yet, still, the same problems persist.

They say you play like you practice.  Michigan supposedly practices great…Me, I’m not buying it anymore.  I want a “passes dropped in practice” count or something to convince me that Michigan is actually practicing great.  Add to that a “Saw the Hole” count and tell me what those are on Friday.  Then, we’ll know if it was a good practice or not.

So, heading into the 2nd bye, Michigan stands at 5-5 with two games left.  The first one is a coin toss.  The 2nd one….well, it’s a rivalry game and anything can happen.  I just don’t think 7-5 saves Hoke’s bacon…in fact, I’m praying it doesn’t.  I can’t continue to watch games like that when there’s better football EVERYWHERE to be seen on Saturday.  In fact, there were so many great games with odd happenings, it makes me think that Halloween missed college football by a week!  So, let’s get to

The Rest of the Mess  (Spooky Saturday!)

I don’t know where to start, so I’m just going to start.  If you haven’t been paying attention to the Gophers of Minnesota, well…They’re doing something they have never done before.  They’re beating teams and beating them decisively – And they clobbered Iowa.  Somehow, Kirk Ferentz still has a job in Iowa even after blow-outs like the one the Gophers slapped on him.  Being a Michigan fan sucks…Being an Iowa fan must feel like a prison sentence.  Look out for the Gophers in the B1G West…They are in a position to make some noise…What’s the world coming to?

Anyone remember when Syracuse used to be good in Football?  Well, when Duke slaps you with a convincing loss…I guess it’s time to think about B-Ball Season.

 The “Big 6 Elimination Games”

All the games that the collective world of College Football Junkies were calling the elimination games either were mired in horrible play and turnovers, or just terrible mistakes all at the wrong time.  Were the ghosts and goblins just having fun with some of these teams or what?

Baylor goes into Sooner Nation’s home and hands them a Big Bag of Whupass….yep, the “Fire Stoops” websites are getting a spit-shine and the quiet collective that has been calling for the Bob Stoops ouster will be out in force this week.  Baylor is the new dominant force in the Big 12 and Oklahoma is an afterthought.  Bob Stoops as a Florida head coach may not be as far-fetched as some believe…But he won’t be wearing Maize and Blue….Just don’t see that one happening.

As a Michigan Fan, it really upset me that there were two WAY more compelling games on besides the one I had to watch.  Auburn, a 3 TD favorite over Texas A&M, somehow found themselves DOWN 3 scores late in the 3rd quarter.  Yes, they came back, but the Tiger, in the last three minutes of the game where they could have scored and either tied and gone ahead, fumbled not once…But TWICE.  The latter being a total mind meltdown by the center and QB.  Ball is snapped early, bounces of QB’s legs, and back through the center’s legs to the nose tackle for A&M….Can anyone say, Slappy Fan Grief, here comes Auburn?

The other game that was on at the same time was the domer- ASU game.  Gholson at one point in time had more points for ASU via pick-6’s and a horrible fumble that ASU converted for 6 than the entire ASU offense had scored.  ASU didn’t even need an offense…Just wait for Everett to do something dumb. 

Then you had the Bama-LSU debacle where another late fumble by Bama looked like it was going to seal Satan’s Warriors fate.  The fumble was recovered and LSU kicked what appeared to be the game-winning Figgie with a minute and change on the clock.  BUT THEN the ensuing Kick-off goes Out of Bounds and Bama gets a really short field.  Sims drives them down and Bama has to kick (not always an automatic with Bama) and they tie the game.  Bama scores in OT and LSU, instead of pounding the ball like they had been doing all night, decides to try and pass….not once, or twice…not even three times.  LSU passes on ALL FOUR downs in the OT and loses!!!  The Hatter wasn’t thinking clearly here…..

Utah and Oregon – If I was a coach and a kid I was coaching EVER DID THIS…I would so completely lose it that I think I would have to literally throw Utah Wide Receiver Clay off the team because if I didn’t…I’m afraid I’d kill him.  Utes about to go up 14-0 on Oregon.  Long pass, TD for UTAH!!!  But Clay drops the ball before crossing the plane!!!  Oregon scoops it up and returns it 99 yards for a TD. 

That’s a 14 point swing, folks.  And Kyle Whittingham handled it WAY BETTER than I would have….

And it seems like there was another game going on Saturday…Oh Yeah, right up the road in East Lansing the two “States that I Hate” were playing a little football game as well.  I Tweeted and Facebooked a picture out on Saturday and it seems a lot of the fans of those two schools don’t like my “multi-purpose shirt” I like to pull out on these special occasions. 

Somebody I hate is gonna’ lose….

So, was Sparty over-rated or are the suckeyes just that much better?  I think it’s a little of both.  Motivation on Urban Legend’s side after having to endure 11 months of living with the Indianapolis loss and thinking about this game.  Barret is the real deal and Miller is NOT going to have a starting job come next season, or he wouldn’t if I’m Urban Legend.  Miller should really think about the NFL or transferring…That’s what the MMQ thinks…But, Sparty, if it’s any consolation, you can say that you’ve held Michigan in the 4 games under Hoke to less points than OSU hung on you on Saturday.  So, you’ve still got that going for you…which is nice. 

Based on all that, I’m really not sure the B1G gets a team into the Final 4 at this point…which, what a great segue to

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1.  Denial and Isolation:  Any team’s fan base that had a team that royally screwed the pooch on Saturday.  I’ve gotta believe there’s a lot of domers, Tigers – LSU and Auburn, Utes, Spartans and perhaps Wildcats here…meaning K-State.  Everyone wants to believe they still have a shot with two losses…but nope.  With two losses, welcome to Flea-Bag City.
  2. ANGER:  MICHIGAN FAN….Still here…AIN’T LEAVING!!!!  I was angry Saturday when Michigan couldn’t move the ball against a defense that was nearly as inept as Indiana’s.  Come on…What DOES MICHIGAN DO ALL WEEK?  I’m sure there’s angry Tigers, domers, Spartys and Utes down here as well.  But Michigan owns this category until the disease is removed from the body of the patient.    
  3. Bargaining:  Everyone with one loss that isn’t in the Final 4.  In mine, that would be Alabama and TCU.  Win out…maybe.  Lose…C Ya’
  4. Depression:  Everyone that’s sitting with three losses or more wondering where their team is heading for the holidays….
  5. Acceptance: Everyone sitting at 5 wins figuring out whether or not their team can win 
The MMQ’s Top 10

The dominoes are beginning to fall….and they’re falling hard.  My 4th and last team in is Baylor – most impressive performance and they’ve earned it on the field. 

  1. Miss State – but the Egg Bowl and every other game on the Bulldogs schedule just got harder…
  2. FSU- Can they win out?  If they don’t…Are they the best 1 loss team?
  3. Oregon – Mariota for Heismann…Just cause…
  4. Baylor – They are the best one loss team with the best performance Saturday, destroying Oklahoma!
  5. Alabama – Not convinced they can win out…If they do, they’re in.  Relax Bama Fan….
  6. Arizona State…Watch out for this sleeper!!!
  7. TCU – Not seeing how they get in….just not seeing it.
  8. Ole Miss – Best 2 loss team out there.
  9. Auburn – Wanted to rank lower….
  10. Ohio – Really don’t see how as a 1-loss team from the B1G can make Final 4…lost to Va-Tech hurts…bad
Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-Big Day of College Football!
-Game Day in East Lansing okay….
-Not SEC equivalent…
-Even Ann Arbor better than this…
-But the “Hate Michigan” signs are everywhere…
-Sparty needs to focus on the task at hand.
-Corso likes you…Somewhat surprising.
-Favorite Shirt Day!
-Forgive me…I’m a Michigan Fan. 
-It’s all I’ve got now….You know…Hating.
-Wow…Is Oklahoma going to even try?
-Bob Stoops could be Florida’s head coach…
-Or Michigan’s…
-I just don’t see that happening.
-But I’d take him in a heartbeat.
-Michigan’s offense is…offensive.
-What are we doing?
-Look at that domer ASU score – “click”
-Classic Gholson
-Domer fans incredibly happy when he’s gone, I’ll bet
-Auburn getting CRUSHED!
-I like Kevin Sumlin
-He’s a good coach
-And I think he connects well with the players.
-Okay – Michigan goes ahead…but too much time on the clock.
-Terrible text from Brother in Law…
-Lots of F-words, but with different superlativity added.
-I know that’s not a word…
-Sue me
-Northwestern scores….Extra point for OT?
-Nope…They’re going for 2.
-I would too….Why not?
-Michigan stuffs it!
-So, should I be happy or sad here?
-I guess that’s the best possible outcome.  Win, but sucky…keep heat on Hoke.
-Another game with less than 500 yards of total offense  - combined!
-So many games!
-What is LSU doing now?
-Bama Fumbles!
-How on earth do you kick that out of bounds?
-Sparty getting hit hard…
-Running, passing. 
-Barrett for real!
-Connor Cook trying, but not enough.
-Sparty not playing nearly as hard as they played against Michigan
-Weekly focus…just not there.
-Beginning of the end for Sparty?
-Michigan gets a shot at ohio…
-Not sure they want it, but they get it.
-UTAH!!!  What are you doing?
-OMG…I would have to keep myself from hitting that kid when he got back to the sidelines…
-There aren’t enough laps or anything that I could make that kid do.
-He would need to transfer.
-And the Ducks do what the Ducks do.

The Hot Seat

Zoe Saldana won easily putting her into the HSM Finals which are literally right around the Holiday Corner.  And oh…BTW…Having to drive my daughters around to various events this weekend, I really have a simple request: 

That’s just a PSA from the MMQ for anyone else that wishes we could just let the Holiday Season be the Holiday Season.  Anyway, the Hot Seat Mascot for Week #11Barbara Palvin!!!

Hot Seat Rank

Brady Hoke – It’s a foregone conclusion…         

  1. Beckman:  He’s got problems….
  2. Hazell:  Purdue beat Illinois….
  3. Will Muschamp:  Hey – he finally wins the Cocktail Party…he moves down…
  4. Norm Chow:  Hawaii. 
  5. Mike London:  Needs wins…


Well, the FMQ has had better weeks…I just hate the ties. And the house won another game THIS WEEK!!!  Unbelievable!!!

All I can say is, we need a big run in the remaining regular season and the conference championships to even have a shot at finishing in the Black…It’s funny because I actually looked at taking the Texas A&M Money line ($1,900) on a whim….that would have been nice.

Baylor @ Oklahoma (-4.5):  Take Baylor and 4.5 for $40
WIN!!!  Bank $76
KSU (+6) @ TCU:  Take TCU and lay the 6 for $30
WIN!!!  Bank $57
Bama @ LSU (+6.5):  Take LSU and the 6.5 for $40
Oregon @ Utah (+8):  Take the Utes and the 8 for $30
Lose….What was I thinking?
Ohio @ SPARTY (-3.5):  Take Sparty and lay the 3.5 for $30
Speaking of thinking…LOSE…..
Michigan @ Northwestern (+1):  Take Michigan and lay the 1 for $30
Starting Bank:         $373
Total Win:                 $133
Bank:                         $506

I will try to post the FMQ on Wednesday as my wife and I will be taking a long weekend down in Siesta Key Florida starting Thursday!  As luck would have it, we’ll be there for the Sand Castle Championships!  We’ll get lots of photos, but here’s some from Last year’s competition!

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