Monday, September 8, 2014

Nope...Didn't See That Coming....

Where to begin….Misery loves company?  When does Hoops Season Start?  Hockey Season?  All the words of Football Losers…And that’s what Michigan is right now.

Let’s get the emotional part done first.   I know certain people can’t WAIT to see this entry, and I certainly don’t want to let those domer loving domer fans down.  Obviously, I mis-read the tea leaves as to who the better team was going into the last game between Michigan and Notre Dame…You know, there are some Mondays when this is very hard to do, but I usually feel better after I do it as it gets a loss out of my head and off my chest.  But today, this is difficult.  Extremely difficult.  I personally really wanted this game and on Saturday afternoon, after reviewing some more stats, I saw a close contest that could go either way in the end.  I figured the last team with the ball would win.

But no….Nope, Nope, Nope …I didn’t see that coming.


They say he who laughs last, laughs best.  I can see that very clearly now.  I’m not sure that players for Michigan understand the impact that this loss will have on the fan base and the rest of their lives, also.  Yeah, they avenged App State.  But this…this was more embarrassing than a lot of games I can recall.  This leaves a very bad taste and it will not only linger for some time, but every domer fan that sees a Michigan Fan will be able to cackle with glee and throw up their middle finger as a salute.  I can state now that I thought I had seen the lowest point of Michigan Football.  I may have been mistaken.  There’s so many thoughts running through my head that I guess we can just number them out here.

  1. First time Michigan was shut out since Bo’s “Disaster” season of 6-6 in 1984.  That was the year Harbaugh broke his arm…That was NOT a good team at that point.
  2. Domers own the win percentage in college football.
  3. Hoke’s job may now be in jeopardy.  You can be forgiven for losing, but you cannot be forgiven for embarrassing the program.
  4. If Hoke loses to both Sparty and ohio like that, he will be feeling some heat…from the fans anyway.  At least, I hope Brandon would turn it up.
  5. As much as some domer fans hate him, Kelly’s job is probably safer than ever before.
  6. Unfortunately, this isn’t just a Michigan problem.  The B1G’s East Division powers (ohio, Sparty, and Michigan) lost by a combined 64 points on Saturday.  More on Sparty and ohio in a minute.
  7. I’m not sure where this leaves Michigan and I’m not sure there can be redemption at this point – for this season, anyway.  Beat Sparty and ohio, and win the B1G and we’ll talk again.
  8. This is, objectively speaking, a slap in the face of Hoke and Michigan.
  9. And Hoke tried to do the right thing in hiring Nussmeir.  (I remember thinking at the time that Nuss was a great hire and that he was the guy that orchestrated the offense that beat the #2 domer defense in the National Championship.
  10. Michigan will win again, and there will be happy fans at some point, but this can never be erased.
  11. Maybe we should have a defensive backs coach coaching defensive backs.
  12. Injuries are just excuses.  Next man up needs to be more than a motto…It needs to be for real.
  13. Jake Ryan is not a good middle linebacker.  Put him back on the outside and let him do what he does.
  14. Brandon sucks.  Just because.
I got an even worse feeling when in the 4th quarter, I saw Funchess go down and I was thinking, “Look fellas, there’s a time and a place for everything and maybe it’s time to say uncle and keep guys healthy.  It’s a long season.”  And then what happens?  Gardener goes down.  I understand he’s the QB and he wants to score, but still.  This is where Head Coaches are paid to make smart decisions.  Leaving Gardener in wasn’t smart. 
Want to see something REALLY FRUSTRATING?  The Stats:

Team Statistics

MICH       ND
FIRST DOWNS...................       18       20
Rushing.....................        6        3
Passing.....................       12       14
Penalty.....................        0        3
NET YARDS RUSHING.............      100       54
Rushing Attempts............       35       31
Average Per Rush............      2.9      1.7
Rushing Touchdowns..........        0        1
Yards Gained Rushing........      138       83
Yards Lost Rushing..........       38       29
NET YARDS PASSING.............      189      226
Completions-Attempts-Int....  19-32-3  23-34-0
Average Per Attempt.........      5.9      6.6
Average Per Completion......      9.9      9.8
Passing Touchdowns..........        0        3
TOTAL OFFENSE YARDS...........      289      280
Total offense plays.........       67       65
Average Gain Per Play.......      4.3      4.3
                                Fumbles: Number-Lost..........      2-1      0-0

Lost the turnover battle and that’s about it.  How do you win the stats line and get blanked on the scoreboard? 

So, where does this leave us?  We’ll always have this…that they can’t take away…

And this!!!!

And as mgoblog pointed out, there’s this…

I guess, in a small way, I’m glad that Michigan got the wake-up call now as that still leaves an opportunity in the B1G to make noise and even win what has become an unmitigated dumpster fire of a conference (Can you believe that sanction riddled PSU could be challenging for the East????).  But if they don’t fix some of their problems, I’m afraid it’s going to be another long season.  And right now, even with the other two rivals losing, I don’t see how Michigan keeps those games close, either.  Speaking of the rivals,

The Rest of the Mess

Sparty (I was asked by a Sparty to be kind today – we’ll see what comes out of the ‘ole fingertips) played valiantly in what many had dubbed an “Armageddon” game of sorts for the loser.  I don’t necessarily see it that way, not yet, anyway, but I do wish in a small way that Sparty had won that game.  But the Ducks do what the Ducks do, and they unloaded a bunch of doo-doo on sparty in the 3rd and 4th quarters.  And Sparty couldn’t score late (I’m not even sure they scored in the 2nd half?)  But, again, they can’t be too disappointed.  Nobody wins in Autzen Stadium besides the Ducks.  And if you have to play them early when they are healthy and have fresh legs…In the words of Tony Soprano, fuhgedaboutit….But, as I stated earlier, it’s a long season and there’s lots of football left to be played.

Va Tech did what many of the experts expected and went into the shoe and beat ohio.  And they beat them decisively.  Again, with a frosh QB and a new O-line, losses are to be expected.  And I don’t expect that to be the last for ohio this season, either.  In fact, I thought I saw Urban Crime Meyer looking a little pale in the singing of “Carmen” after the game.  Heart problems again, Urb?

The Cornsuckers were beat until the last play of the game (I seriously doubt Nebraska would have beat McNeese state in OT- McNeese state would have had some momentum going into OT) and while a W is a W, this cannot have the fans in Lincoln feeling a lot of love for Pelini.  Another move on the ‘ole Hot Seat chart….

Perdon’t didn’t….I get that the Chippies are a pretty good team, but a B1G Team losing by three scores to a MAC team?  Unacceptable…and that portends to this whole B1G issue…what is wrong with the B1G???

USC beat Stanford in what had to be one of the sloppiest first halves of football I’d see in quite some time.  And I don’t know how many times Stanford had the ball inside the 30 or 25, but to not come away with points in those situations, that’s bad….And Pat Haden I believe, should probably recuse himself from the Football Championship committee.  The AD should never be on the field talking to referees, period.  I saw that like Dad coming down from the stands to have a talk with the ref….Bad scene.

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1.  Denial and Isolation:  In all honesty, I’m probably somewhere between here and the next phase.  I’m guessing there’s some ohio and Sparty fans in here as well.  Hard to believe what we saw on Saturday and we have seen our teams do better.  But it is the 2nd game of the season, so it’s a little early for
  2. ANGER:  But, there’s a lot of me and probably a lot of Michigan fans here, also, as we’ve seen this movie before and we DON’T WANT TO GO ON THIS ROLLER COASTER RIDE AGAIN!  I’m a little sick and tired of what appears to be great effort, but no results.  At some point, there has to be results. 
  3. Bargaining:  Sparty and ohio fans are probably a little in this category, also, with both figuring they can win the East and the B1G championship and still have an outside shot at the CFP.  While I get that, there’s a TON of bad imagery for the committee’s consumption and I’m afraid that a B1G 1 loss champion will have a tough road to get into the final 4.  We need a lot of 2 loss 2nd place teams out there.
  4. Depression:  There’s a little bit of me down here…Just didn’t see that coming…Did I mention that?
  5. Acceptance: When I’ve accepted the fact that Michigan or the B1G for that matter, will never have a meaningful impact in college football again, I’ll dump my season tickets and find something more useful to do on Saturdays in the fall….
The MMQ’s Top 10

With a weekend’s worth of games under our belts, some upsets and some surprising scores, let’s rank who we saw based on what they did on the field.

  1.  FSU- this probably won’t change much until the Louisville game…
  2. Oregon – Mariota for Heismann…Just cause…
  3. Texas A&M – is the team with the lowest percentage to hang in the top 4
  4. Georgia – SEC will sort itself out in time, but until then, the Dawgs stay here.
  5. UCLA – rolling…
  6. USC – Should move them down…Stanford should have won that game.
  7. Auburn – see Georgia… 
  8. Satan’s Warriors – see Auburn….
  9. Oklahoma – crushed the spread…
  10. Sparty – we have to keep them in the Top 10 or there’s no shot at the FF. 
Dumbest of all things dumb:  Coaches poll is out and has: 

18:  ohio 
19:  Va Tech
Va Tech fans can begin bitching and moaning….Now.

 Idle Thoughts From Saturday
-Purdue isn’t even making this a game…
-Underdog in the Michigan-domer series has won 7 out of the last 10.
-USC and Stanford do not look like top 20 teams…
-OF course, it’s only the 2nd game of the season…
-But everything is at stake..
-Which is why College Football is better than the NFL…
-Here we go!
-Come on, Wyle!  Make the kicks!!
-Jeez…3 points is important in this game…
-Even more important than originally thought.
-Why can’t we stop Gholson?
-I don’t think he’s all that.
-I mean, yeah, he’s better, but still.
-What are we doing on offense?
 -Offensive line is showing their youth….
-Defensive front of the domers having their way
-14-0   Nice hole, Hoke.
-21-0  What now?  Start chuckin’ it up to Funchess?
-God…I did not see this coming.
-There goes Mariota.  The Ducks just keep coming at you…
-And then the dam breaks, regardless of how good your defense is.
-And there goes the Ducks again…
-Misery loves company…
-And the Domers….28-0…
-As was said to me, “It’s a bad day for the Mitten…”
-Greatest comeback in history?  Maybe if Denard was in the House…
-Well, the suckeyes are losing, too…
-So there’s something to be happy about…
-Great if you’re a Michigan fan, bad if you’re a B1G fan…
-What has happened to the B1G? 
-If I had to rank the Power 5 right now?  This instant?
-Pac 20 (or whatever)
-Big XI
-Brandon doesn’t care who the domers schedule…
-While he’s trying to get SMU on the schedule…
-And that’s just wrong….
-And it makes me ill…
-Brandon sucks…I need somebody to blame…

 The Hot Seat

Wow, there’s going to be some movement on the Hot Seat list today!  But, first things first.  Amber Heard won easily over Alison Brie, which means she is the first Hot Seat Mascot into the Play-off Bracket!  For Week #2, I offer Emily Ratajkowski…I know, I hate Hot Seat Mascots with long names, but I think she’s worth it!


Hot Seat Rank

  1. Hazell:  What is Purdue doing?
  2. Will Muschamp:  Moved down 1 with a victory over Eastern…
  3. Brett Bielema:  Brett needs some wins…
  4. Beckman:  He’s got problems….
  5. Charlie Weis:  Why are they keeping Wuzzles around?  Just cause? 
  6. Pelini:  Just beating McNeese State makes for a hard week…
  7. Brady Hoke:  Yeah, he’s on the list and feeling some heat.
  8. Norm Chow:  Hawaii.  The Rainbows haven’t mattered in a while.and that’s a fan base that cares.
  9. Mike London:  Needs wins…kept UCLA close, but lost…
  10. Sonny Dykes:  California was pretty good for a while….Wha’ happened?
  11. Dana Holgorensen:  Close but no cigar gets old after three years
  12. Andersen:  Wiscy.  Losing a 17 point lead with Stave on the bench has to be lighting up the torch and pitchfork crowd in Madison….

 Week #2 and we’re still green.  But it could have been a lot better.

BYU @ Texas (+1):  Take BYU and lay the 1 for $30

WIN!  Bank $57
Va Tech @ ohio (-11):  Take V-Tech and the 11 for $20

WIN!  Bank $38
Tulsa @ Oklahoma (-24) Take Oklahoma and lay the 24 for $50

WIN!  Bank $97
WKU (+6.5) @ Illinois:  Take WKU and the 6.5 for $50

Sparty(+12) @ the Quack Attack:  Take the Ducks and lay the 12 for $20

WIN!  Bank $38
Michigan (+4.5) @ domers:  Take Michigan and the 4.5 for $60

Parlay!  3 way pays 6 to 1

Michigan – WKU – Oklahoma for $20 – LOSE….
Starting Bank:         $778

Total Win:                 $228
Bank:                         $1,008

1 comment:

Luke Holland said...

The word of the day is "Pratfall." How quaint.