Monday, October 17, 2011

You Can't Fix Stupid...Here's To Hoping We Can

“When you get old and fat, you can get lyposuction and a tummy tuck,
When your boobies start to sag, you can get those cosmetically enhanced…
You can even get lasik surgery to fix your eyesight when you get older.
But folks, I’m here to tell ya’….
You can’t fix stupid!”

Ron White

I don’t know when that ran through my mind during the 2nd half of the Michigan-Sparty game, but it had to be at some point when we had put in Devin Gardner at a critical moment (and Denard was hurt, so maybe I’m being a little harsh) or when we called for a pass play on a 4th and short with 6 minutes left when our bread and butter standard would have been a 40 yard sprint to the sideline with Denard carrying the rock or on a sneak...Either way, I felt like the whole game could be summed up in a word.

Stupid. Stupid Call. Stupid Timing of the Call. Stupid Execution….Stupid, Stupid, Stupid….

Yes, there was bad officiating. Yes, Sparty played dirty. Yes, yes, yes….It’s Michigan against the world and we should all know that by now.  Grow up if that's you're bitch this morning.  In fact, I expect it, ESPECIALLY from Sparty. It’s in their nature. They wouldn’t know class and sportsmanship if it walked up and bit ‘em in the balls (Which I think I saw a Sparty try to do to either Denard or Devin). But at the end of the day, there were stupid plays called, stupid substitutions, and stupid opportunities that were blown….This game was easily within the Wolverines reach if they hadn’t gotten stupid.

I would love to give a small hat tip to Sparty on a game well played (14 penalties by the Spartys– at least 3 for personal fouls). But they even admitted that they simply play dirty and hope that all the penalties don’t all get called. Nice…But hey, it’s a dirty game with a dirty opponent. These Wolverines should know that by now. Coach Hoke should also know that. I just don’t know why Hoke made some of the calls that were made offensively in this game.

The officiating somehow managed to even mess up an instant re-play call where Sparty was out of bounds. And I don’t want to even discuss the dropped lateral by Sparty that should have been a live ball. Apparently that was a quick whistle that killed that play.

Even the tool Spielman in the booth was taking some delight in seeing the Wolverines go down. Urban Meyer was taking notes for is impending offer at OSU.

If somehow, Hoke and the rest of this team Can Fix Stupid, it’s going to win a few more games. But right now, my feeling is if they can’t, it may be another beginning to a long and slippery slope to a flea-bag bowl….

And I have to agree with the post game text I received: I just became a big Wiscy fan. If they beat Sparty and Sparty trips somewhere else, well, let’s just say Michigan isn’t out of the Legends division race yet.

The BCS Mess

Once the BCS standings are out, we take an in depth look at the top 10 or so teams (it’s really however far I want to go down the list) and determine what the realistic chances are for the top contenders staying at the top and the lower pretenders moving on up the ranks.

1. LSU – The Mad Hatter is positioned incredibly well to whether a loss and still make the game…but I believe you have to WIN your conference now to get in which actually puts
2. Satan’s Warriors – in the Drivers seat of the SEC West. I believe they will prevail on November 5th.
3. LATERS – The “right now” team that would play in the “Big Game” if everything stays the same, but they are quite a few percentage points below the 2nd place team, leaving some question as to who the real 2nd place team is. The other Big 12 upstart
4. Okie State – Is a big surprise in the top 5, but apparently, the computers love them and their SOS, even though the drop off from 3 to 4 is almost an entire point. They still have big games left and “Bedlam!” should knock one of these two Okies out of the top 5. Stoops can screw anything up and usually does at least once a season…
5. Boy’s State – If you can’t find big boys to play with, NO BCS FOR YOU!
6. Wiscy – Let’s face it…Wiscy pre-season schedule looks like Kleenex at the end of the day…Even a victory over Sparty probably won’t do much…
7. Clemson – I don’t think the college football world is ready for an ACC team to be annihilated in the BCS title game, even if they manage to run the table.
8. Stanford – This is the team that somehow manages to get really hosed in the BCS. I think their non-conference SOS should get a boost once they spank the Domers and Oregon.
9. Arkansas – best 1 loss team out there, but too much road to actually be in serious contention.
10. Oregon – Not this year. I think Mr. Lucky finds a way to beat them.

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-WHAT ARE WE DOING???? First Half….
-We should have been up at least 21 on these clowns…
-I hate Sparty and they are really starting to get on my nerves.
-When are they going to start laying down like the good little Spartys that they used to be and start talking about basketball in October?
-Hoke, you’re really pissing me off. Or Borges…either one.
-This is too big a game to give Devin serious playing time.
-It’s like asking a sophomore to come into the biggest game of the season and play without any screw-ups…
-Oh wait, that’s exactly what they did.
-Would this year’s defense with last year’s Rich Rod’s offense won this game?
-Don’t go there…You’ll drive yourself crazy.
-Nah, I’m going there.
-I believe we convert that 4th down.
-I also believe the 1st half is completely different.
-Maybe it’s not, but last year’s offense moved the ball and there were a lot less three and outs….
-Did Sparty pay off the refs?
-Somebody send Dantonio a Double-Bacon Cheeseburger at half time…
-Wait, that would be wrong…and dirty.
-Of course, that Didn’t seem to bother Sparty.
-Or their fans.
-The balance of power will shift back. Just give it a little time, Michigan Fan...
-There’s the rest of this season to salvage and worry about right now.
-Not even you’re slappy MMQ thought we could win them all.
-But (And I honestly still believe this) I think there’s a chance we can still win the Legends.
-I TOLD YOU! I’m a slappy.
-Jeez, I HATE These Spartys! (Yeah, not quite as much as the Domers).
-But it’s getting close…
-4 in a row? In our lifetime?
-You almost knew it was a bad omen…
-Tigers lose…
-Lions lose…
-I hope you’re happy Sparty…You’re upsetting the natural order of Michigan and Detroit Athletics!
-BCS. I don’t really know what to think about those three letters anymore.
-If Wiscy and Stanford stay undefeated, I think that’s plenty of evidence for an argument for a plus 1 format.
-The two best QB’s in college football should get a shot at a National Title. That’s all I’m saying.

More Idle Thoughts from the Weekend

-That was a rough game for the Tigers on Saturday night. I don’t know how the wheels came off so quickly.
-I mean, Scherzer wasn’t pitching a bad game…Then he was.
-I SURE would like to have that 20 game winning streak in August and September back.
-I guess that’s what they mean by “Peaking too Soon”
-Timing is everything.
-Is Harbaugh really that big of an ass?
-Didn’t see it, but heard it on the radio and saw the replay…
-I mean, I blame Schwartz a little, but this ain’t the first incident for Jimmy…
-If Bo were still alive, the ole’ man just MIGHT be giving him a phone call this AM.
-I’m not saying that Jimmy’s a Jerk…But what the hell.
-We also knew the Lions weren’t going to win them all and they are still 5-1.
-But someone needs to beat Green Bay.
-I guess we get two shots…
-I will read “Three and Out” by John U Bacon….
-It’s on my Christmas List.

The Hot Seat

Voter turn out is getting stronger and stronger as the season grinds on. At the half way mark, I believe we have 5 finalists in the Hot Seat Mascot Race and Ali Larter won by a cherry, er, nose against Katarina in a close vote and she will appear as a Mascot finalist for 2011….

I am sticking with the Hollywood girl next door thing and I really liked the chick who played Gwen in the 3rd Spidey flick, even though I had no idea she was a natural red head…At least, she shows up with red hair quite a bit of the time. In honor of seeing red after this weekend, let the healing being with red-headed actress Bryce Dallas Howard!

GONE list:
1. LOCKSLEY – New Mexico
2. Mike Stoops – Arizona…Sorry, I didn’t see this one coming….

Hot Seat Rank
1. Fickell - Beating the Illini doesn't cool the seat off that much...
2. Neuheisel - He’s still got a job?
3. Houston Nutt – Moving on Up!!
4. Hoke – It’s one loss, but 4 in a row to Sparty. Yeah, the seat will be a little hot with a bye week in Ann Arbor. I feel bad for Purdue…

FMQ Betting Results:
If there IS a silver lining in losing to Sparty, it’s the fact that we did make a little green this week on all the other games. In Sumary:

Michigan (OPEN: +3 Today: +1.5) @ Sparty
So, I had the Maize and Blue colored glasses on in this one….Sue me
Take Michigan and the 3 for $60

Alabama @ Mississippi (+23.5 Open TODAY: +25.5)
Take Alabama and lay the 23.5 for $60
Satan’s Warriors 52- Miss-7
WIN - Bank $124

Stanford @ Washington State (+20.5 Open Today: +21)
Take Stanford and lay the 20.5 for $100
Mr. Lucky is going to continue to beat up the Pac 12 until someone, ANYONE takes notice.
WIN - Bank $190

Indiana (+39.5) @ Wiscy
I’ll take Wiscy and lay the 40 points for $40
This one was like taking candy from a baby…Should have bet more…
WIN - Bank $76

LSU @ Tennessee (+17)
Take LSU and lay the 17 for $80
The Hatter spanks Orange Pants
WIN - Bank $152

None of them won because we had Michigan in all of them….but what the hell, it’s only money.

Starting BANK:    $1,154
TOTAL WIN:       $523
NEW BANK:        $1,686

Early "Jumping on It!" for next week (minimum $60 bet - Taking the team listed first)

Western (-13) over Eastern ($60)
Texas AM (-20) over Iowa State ($80)
Nebraska (-23) over Minnesota ($100)
Stanford (-20) over Washington ($120)

Enjoying the Ride…MMQ

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