Monday, November 2, 2009

Zooky Trick or Treat

Uh Oh. 5-4 and 1-4 in the Big 10…It’s not a repeat of 2008, but it ain’t much better. Therefore, we are moving to a new reference of “THOSE WHO CANNOT BE CALLED MICHIGAN” until they win a Big 10 game that matters… Hard to decide what is worse: giving up 377 yards rushing to 2-6 Illinois, being unable to score from the 1-yard line on four plays, or taking back-to-back losses against the Illini for the first time since 1958.

I hate prognosticating in the pre-season. Remember, I had the Illini game chalked up as a loss and, well, it’s looking like I am a pretty good predictor of THOSE WHO CANNOT Football outcomes. (I’ve only been wrong on the Domers). Maybe I need to be more positive and predict that were going to WIN MORE GAMES. I can’t explain what we saw on Saturday. It defied logic. The Illini was the worst defense in the Big 10, a team that hadn’t produced offensively, and a coach that should be on the hot seat but has been confirmed through next year….

I would love to go into an in depth on this one, but when you look at it: Dropped punts, 4 plays from the 1 YARD LINE and we can’t punch it in, blown defensive assignments etc…It’s just more of the same only against a team with a different color uniform.

Defense, not taking care of the ball, and missing golden opportunities are going to continue to be the bane of THOSE WHO CANNOT’S existence until someone decides that the problems need to be fixed. You can’t “exercise” or “condition” yourself out of bad performances. The recipe needs to be better coaching with the talent we have. had a great piece last week on the fact that we have had a 58% turnover on defense going back to the 2005 season. That means that over half the recruits have either left, been injured or transferred out of the program. That’s a problem. How do you address it?

I would love to come down on the coaching staff, but I have a feeling there’s going to be plenty of time for that later. Believe me, I a making a list. And right now, THOSE WHO CANNOT need every fan it can get for the next three games. So, before I go completely negative, let’s rally the Maize and Blue!

The Ledge – or the Race to 6-6….

THOSE WHO CANNOT Reasons to put TWO FEET SQUARELY ON THE LEDGE (Toes hanging off):
1. Purdue at home coming off a pasting by Wisconsin. I would have preferred that they played their hearts out and lost a close one, or even beat the Cheeseheads.
2. Defense…and more offensive woes….
3. Cheeseheads in Madison…Fuhgetaboutit….
4. OSU Home – We’ll be up, but so will they.

THOSE WHO CANNOT Reasons to pull one foot Off the Ledge:
1. A little weak here. I am open to suggestions and anyone with any ideas as to how we can win one of the last three or we’ll be sitting a 5-7 at home after November 21.


Here’s your USATODAY top 10 inserted here for discussion later. At least the BCS is still somewhat SANE….
1.Florida (50)
2.Texas (4)
3.Alabama (5)
5.Boise State
10.Penn State

SPARTY AT GOPHERS: Sparty’s Ledge:

Reasons to keep TWO FEET SQUARELY ON THE LEDGE (Except your out to the arches and rocking back and forth on your heels):
1. You should have won this one. After taking Iowa to the limit and losing the way you did, you needed to go up there with attitude and just take it.
2. The Iowa game may have been the swan song this year. Emotional roller coaster is off the track.
3. PSU and Purdue are still on the schedule – AWAY….
4. You need two wins in your last three games…

Sparty reasons to pull one foot off the ledge:
I’m REALLY WEAK here and looking for any Sparty’s who haven’t already tuned out and turned on Basketball and Hockey to give me something…Anything to hang on to here.

North Carolina at Va Tech: HOKIES! I told you! Butch Davis was looking for a win and you were ready, but not able, to contain the Tar Heels. ACC is looking like a mess with GT yellow jackets in charge…
Purdue at Wisconsin: I was really hoping for a close game here. I wanted a de-motivated Purdue Spoilermaker at the Big House. Now, the Spoilers are going to be pissed and ready to play.
Indiana vs. Iowa: I watched this game from the beginning to the end and Indiana HAD THEM. They really did…Until they completely and utterly collapsed. And the Hawkeyes beat the spread. Amazing.
Kitty’s vs. Kitty’s: PSU vs. OSU this week is the big game...Northwestern simply couldn’t compete. Iowa loss for PSU is looking HUGE…So is that trip by OSU to the Spoilers…
Ole Miss at Auburn: Ole Miss is a fraud and Auburn is probably going bowling…
Mizzou vs. Buffaloes: Mizzou POUNDS Buffalo hide and makes the Big 12 north somewhat interesting.
WORLD’S LARGEST OUTDOOR COCKTAIL PARTY!: I can’t believe I whiffed so bad on this one. I really thought with a week off to prep, Richy Rich would have the Puppies ready to play…Florida is looking less vulnerable – Especially when they go for the EYE GOUGE play on defense. Nice, guys. Classy…I think I am starting to hate GATORLAND even more than I did before.
DOMERS (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!) vs. Washington State: Whatever…..
SOUTH CAROLINA at TENNESSEE: I just didn’t buy the fact that Tennessee would be getting points at home…I nailed this one. And Lane Kiffin hung another Tennessee victory on the Ole Ball Coach.
TEXAS at OKLAHOMA STATE: Short Horns rule…Cowboys drool…But Big 12 looks terrible in general.
RUBBERS at OREGON DUCKS: This game gave me a happy moment as I watched a very good Oregon Team dismantle a team that, with one more loss, won't play in a BCS game…That would be a first of nearly 8 years for the Rubbers. USC has lost 11 games in 8 seasons since 2002. Four of those defeats came in the state of Oregon. Think Pete Carrol will be vacationing in Oregon any time soon?

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

1. WE suck….WE suck….WE suck…
2. Has 2009 been disappointing for the fans? I mean, not just THOSE WHO CANNOT Fans, but College Football Fans in General?
3. Yes, we have undefeated teams…But come on, we don’t really have what anyone would call great teams this year, do we?
4. I mean, where’s the Heisman moments? Where are the last second heroics – aside from the Domers (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!)
5. Don’t tell me we all just cave and give it to Clausen.
6. Get rid of the award if that happens.
7. We suck…We suck almost as bad as we did last year. We’re young, we’re small, and now we’re busted up...I am not sure you can play in the Big 10 with little athletes. They last for a few games, but when they start getting pounded week in and week out by bigger athletes, well, little guys can only take so much. I know – long thought.
8. Will the BCS really put two, count em, two non-power BCS Buster teams, TCU and Boise State, into the Big Money BCS games?
9. Can these fans generate the buying power?
10. I GAURAN-DAMN-TEE you that ABC who has two games and FOX that has the other three DON’T WANT TCU AND BOISE STATE. But that’s just an MMQ hunch.
11. And what gives? Why are these teams “so good” and why can’t they be defeated?
12. Where’s the upsets in the WAC and MWAC?
13. I hate it when Michigan loses. Really. I mean, I hate it…
14. If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.
15. And the offense isn’t getting better.
16. I know I predicted 5-7, but after the Domer victory, well, yes, I let hope creep in…I need to learn not to do that.
17. I do believe we’re on the right track and if we can keep everyone healthy – we’ll be better.
18. What do we do about the Defense? I can’t blame the coaching…He’s working with what he’s got.
19. Recruit DEFENSE only for the next two years?
20. Purdue can be beaten. God, I hope we can beat them…

The Hot Seat

Decisions, decisions…I know all of you were thinking I was in a Friends theme, but when it comes right down to it, was Lisa Kudrow really that hot? I didn’t think so, either…So I had to let my mind wander and come up with another Mascot selection. The criteria used to be:
1. Had to have some sort of link to Michigan (tossed that out this year)
2. Had to have some sort of link to the MMQ (like the same things, same sign, etc – tossed that one, too.)

Now, they just need to be hot. So, without thinking too hard, I came up with the following: Jessica Alba! She definitely got my attention when she was bouncing around in the movie “Into the Blue”…

And she held my attention in this shot as well.

But, and this is a “Charlie Wuzzles”, it really gets my attention if you can manage to get a photo of yourself naked…the MMQ isn’t sure why that is, but it just helps.

DON’T FORGET! You can vote for the Annual Hot Seat Mascot! Pick the Hot Seat Mascot that you think should be the Hot Seat Mascot of the Year. If you can’t decide on one, that’s okay. You can vote for multiple Mascots…Every Week I will post the Leader in the Vote getting on the Side Bar. And you NEED TO VOTE EACH WEEK for your favorite. It turns out I can't simply add a mascot to the poll. We have to start a new one each week.
LAST WEEK'S WINNER: ERIN ANDREWS! I can live with that....

1. Wuzzles – Creeping back up the ladder Charlie…Because everyone else is “safe”.
2. Richy Rich – Georgia should have played that game a lot closer than they did…
3. Bobby Bowden – Technically gone – We just haven’t started the gone list yet.
4. The Ole Ball Coach – He will forever take it on the chin when he loses to the Cremesicles and they remind him of his “You can’t spell CITRUS without UT” comment.

5. Sorry RR..You're back on the list. And I only have you at 5. Some are requesting a much higher position.


1. Al Groh…Going on annual run that saves his job.
2. Zookie – I guess he’s here till season end


Va Tech at East Carolina: HOKIES! Wake UP! Skip Holtz will have his kids ready..

Every Day Should Be Saturday

Cheeseheads vs. Indiana: Can Hoosiers rough up the Cheese? I doubt it…
Broncos at Sparty: This is a must win.
Spoilers at (THOSE WHO CANNOT): If they can beat the Spoilers, I will give them the name back.
Illinois at Gophers: Gophers get the Motor City Bowl Bid – or better.
Gamecocks at Arkansas: Razors need a win…So does the Ole Ball Coach
Navy vs. DOMERS: I like Navy. Really.
Ducks at Stanford: Harbaugh will have his troops ready. Ducks coming off emotional win might be a little flat…
OSU at PSU: White out! PSU is tough in 3:30 games in the Big Beaver. I think they hand OSU 2nd Big 10 loss with the VEST going conservative and losing a last minute heartbreaker…Hee-hee….
LMU vs. $atan: I like LMU getting 9….
GATORLAND vs. Commodores: Tebow and crew will win easy…
LATERS vs. CORNSUCKERS: Anyone remember when this game used to mean something?
RUBBERS vs. SUNDEVILS: Wouldn’t another upset of the rubbers be classic?


Your MMQ refuses was a respectable 3-1 last week on the upsets…I know you didn’t see it, but I also said that the Gophers would upset Sparty, but I pulled it out due to my Big 10 blinders…but I nailed the Ducks and the Cremesicles, blew it on Gatorland.

This week, the MMQ Upset Alert Sense is telling me

NAVY over the DOMERS….
Stanford over the DUCKS
LMU over $atan…

But again, I could be wrong on all of them….Best bet: LMU and the 9 points. 2nd best: Stanford getting 4 at home.

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