Monday, November 9, 2009

Pur-Don’t-Does-It-Again and “Schadenfreude”

Last Year: Hook-Lateral-Sinker
This Year: Onsides is Better!

You know, when you finally “let go” of being a “Those Who Cannot” Fan and watch objectively, I mean TRULY objectively, you notice some things. The best thing “Those Who Cannot” have been doing this year is kick-off returns. Yep. We look good doing that – Stonum has some serious yards returning the ball. Punts, not so much, but kick-offs, yes.

So, I am sure when the Spoiler coaches met at half time, someone, thinking quite logically, said, “Look, we’re giving them the ball on the 35-40 line when they run it back on us. Why not try on onsides kick and catch them sleeping? So we give it to them 15 yards further up the field? But the risk reward is huge.” And that’s just what they did.

I HATE it when I get out “thunk”. I am sure the Rod is hating it right now, too. And like it or not, “Those Who Cannot” are staring 5-7 right in the eye – just as your own MMQ predicted.

And it doesn’t get any better next year. The defense will still be atrocious and the offense, well, the offense just isn’t getting better. It does great things, yes. But consistency, ball control, and clock management are not anywhere in the “Great Things” list. Anyone miss Lloyd Carr? Don’t – I am not sure he isn’t more to blame for this mess than the Rod. And as a loyal MMQ reader noted – The Rod is the only guy really able and trying to fix it right now.

The Ledge – or the Race to 6-6….

1. Defense…and more offensive woes. And Onsides Kick-off Recoveries...
2. Cheeseheads in Madison…Fuhgetaboutit….
3. OSU Home – We’ll be up, but so will they.

THOSE WHO CANNOT Reasons to pull one foot Off the Ledge:
1. Looking for a net, a lifeline, anything….

Navy vs. DOMERS:
Hee-Hee…..HAHAHAHA….HEEE-HEEE HO HAHAHA! Upset SPECIAL Game #1 – Are you betting with the MMQ? You should be….After getting a chance to see the HBO special of the 10 year war (again), I was reminded by Barry Pierson of a wonderful term that as “Those Who Cannot” Fans, we need to use more of. It seems our opponents use it often against us, so I am stooping to their level:

“Schadenfreude” - A German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

Well, the fatted one has done it again. Right when he was getting some respect and improving the image of the Domers, they manage to lose to Navy 2 out of the last 3 years. What’s classic: Navy didn’t think that the win was that big of a deal. LET THAT SINK IN FOR A MINUTE: The Middies figured on WINNING THAT GAME before it was played. They didn’t even consider it an upset.
LMU vs. $atan: You know, I really liked LMU in this game. I made that pretty clear last week. And I guess the Referees didn’t agree with me when they CANNOT SEE WHAT WAS OBVIOUSLY AN INTERCEPTION in the 4th quarter on the instant replay and wanted to keep the $atan’s Warriors record unblemished. If I am Slive, I think it’s time to decimate and gut the entire referee staff in the SEC, get someone in the booth that DOES NOT NEED CORRECTIVE VISION and is less than 60 years old that knows what a “Flat Screen” is and MAKE THE GOD DAMN CALLS RIGHT! Okay – I’ve aired my grievance, for what it’s worth.
Ducks at Stanford: Another One of my Upset Specials Comes Home Huge! I knew Jimmy would have those kids ready to play, and the PAC 10 is more of a mess than usual. But the Ducks are still a good team.
Cincinnati vs. UCONN: If you aren’t, I’m convinced that the best TEAM in OHIO is Cincinnati. I am convinced that the BEST COACH in Ohio is Kelly. Is he staying there because he believes? Or is he holding out for the Fatted One’s Title at Our Lady?
OSU at PSU: “Schadenfreude” - Someone I hated had to lose...But I hate it when The Suckeyes get on a roll in November. The Kitty Cats just didn’t show up. Plain and simple. Pryor looks good again, etc.
Hokies vs. Pirates: Hokies beat, but do not impress. But then again, now that the ACC is out of reach, is there any reason to embarrass other teams?
Clemson vs. FSU: “Schadenfreude” Bobby Bowden is gone. That’s all there is to it. And I would have liked to see him win this game, but I hate both these teams, so, say it with me…..
Broncos at Sparty: Sparty lives to fight again and may have a shot at their last two games. Purdue is beatable and so are the Nittany Kitty Cats….
Cheeseheads vs. Indiana: The Hoosiers have hung with everybody they’ve played this year. Look out for them next year. Indiana could become the next “I” school to make life miserable for everyone else in the Big 10.
Illinois at Gophers: What the hell – The Illini were supposed to roll over and play dead for everyone in the Big 10 and now they are trying to do, what exactly? Screw everything up for everybody else?
Gamecocks at Arkansas: Razors get the victory against the Ole Ball Coach whose team cannot seam to score any points…Whatever happened to the fun and gun? Is it all over for Spurrier? The South Carolina natives have to be getting restless.
GATORLAND vs. Commodores: Tebow does what needs to be done.
LATERS vs. CORNSUCKERS: Laters are much worse than predicted and will drop out of the top 25. I knew they would lose, but didn’t think it would get this bad. Conrsuckers, on the other hand, might be bowling.
RUBBERS vs. SUNDEVILS: Rubbers prevail……

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

1. Do I need to say it again? We SUCK….Let me re-phrase: THOSE WHO CANNOT SUCK! (I am no longer “We”). Aw, who am I kidding…This just really hurts, that’s all.
2. When Rich Rod fields a defense and we hang on to the GOD DAMN BALL, we’re going to be a pretty good team.
3. I guess you can say that about a lot of teams, though, can’t ya’?
4. Clausen for Heismann? Really? He hasn’t beaten an arch rival – Navy included in that statement - yet (this season). If he loses again, hopefully we will have heard the end of it. With Pitt and The Cardinal on the schedule, The Domers are looking at 7-5. I mean, really, MSU, Washington, and Purdue were all right there, too.
5. Oregon’s worthy of a title shot. Really.
6. So is Boise State. I believe that.
7. As are Florida, Alabama, Texas, LSU, and others in the top 10…
8. Hmmm…I wonder why they don’t do a playoff in Division 1 College Football?
9. Yes, those last thoughts are satirical in nature in reference to my disgust for the three sequential letters that I hate more than IRS…
10. What will it take?
11. I know money is the root of all evil. Are the Bowls Evil? IS BCS EVIL INCARNATE?
12. Logically, that makes sense.
13. There aren’t many Great Games in November – well, there’s one, when both teams are good.
14. I take that last one back – Saturday had compelling Football. I always like to watch my arch nemesis lose – Say it with me! “Schadenfreude”
15. But, as they say, misery loves company.
16. Look at it this way: Would you rather be sitting with the Rod or Wuzzles? That’s what I thought.
17. You did say the Rod in the answer to the question, right?
18. If you didn’t, go away. Even the Domers don’t want him.
19. Are OSU tickets getting cheap?
20. I HATE it when we lose…I really do….
21. All we need is one win. Can it happen? Hope springs eternal.
22. Hope in one hand and “crap” in the other and see which one fills up first…As the saying goes….

The Hot Seat

Wanting to go off the page a little and find a good, wholesome individual, I was watching The Office on Thursday as I flipped back and forth to the Hokie –Pirate matchup and couldn’t help but notice Pam…Lovely Pam, that co-worker you think about, but unless you’re Jim, you don’t really talk to…They must work really hard to make her look mousy on the show because this week’s Hot Seat Mascot is in fact, HOT! Jenna Fischer looked great in this Golden Globe photo….

And she looked HOT here in this budoir shot…Anyone know the origins of this pic?

But, like I said, something about the photos when they take all their clothes off makes them worthy of the Hot Seat Mascot Honor!

DON’T FORGET! You can vote for the Annual Hot Seat Mascot! Pick the Hot Seat Mascot that you think should be the Hot Seat Mascot of the Year. If you can’t decide on one, that’s okay. You can vote for multiple Mascots…Every Week I will post the Leader in the Vote getting on the Side Bar. Erin Andrews Just Keeps on Winning! Two weeks in a row! Don't make her a lock....Be sure to Vote!

1. Wuzzles – Creeping back up the ladder Charlie…Losing to the Middies simply isn’t good resume fodder.
2. Bobby Bowden – Technically gone – We just haven’t started the gone list yet.
3. Richy Rich –He’ll survive, but you just don’t want his job right now.
4. Al Groh – Virgina isn’t going anywhere – he’s toast.
5. Rich Rod – He’s not getting canned, but the Flame is on HIGH
6. The Ole Ball Coach – Sigh…Whatever happened to fun ole Steve?


1. Zookie – I guess he’s here till season end


USF vs. Rutgers – I labeled this one as: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does anyone care?

Every Day Should Be Saturday

WVU vs. Cincinnati: Last chance for someone to knock off the best Team in Ohio…Hmmm
Cremesicles vs. Ole Miss: Can Lane make a bowl in his first season?
Yellow Jackets at the Blue Devils: Did ANYONE think this game would mean ANYTHING at the beginning of the season? Don’t look now, but Duke might make bowl eligibility.
IU vs. PSU: Can this be the one that the Hoosiers bring home?
“Those Who Cannot” vs. Cheeseheads: “Those Who Cannot” are getting 9 – Take the Heads of Brie and call me in the morning.
SPARTY vs. Spoilers: Sparty needs 1 – Spoilers need 2 for a bowl…Pick ‘em game…
Stanford vs. Southern Cal: Wait a minute – The team that Beat the Ducks is GETTING 11 from the team that lost to the Ducks? Has Vegas lost their minds or do they know something that I don’t? Hmmmmmm
IOWA vs. OSU: Don’t dismiss Iowa entirely, my friends. They will show up. But can they beat THE Suckeyes? I dunno…
Cornsuckers at Kansas: Big 12 North big game of the Week
GATORLAND vs. The Ole Ball Coach: Well, I don’t know. I thought the Ole Ball Coach might win this game when I looked at the schedule back in September. But he just doesn’t have the tools.
Auburn vs. Georgia: This could drive another spike in Richy Rich’s coffin…
Texas AM vs. LATERS: Again, what is Vegas seeing that I’m not? Laters are giving 18.5….Hmm.m….
$atan’s Warriors vs. Miss State: Miss State upset Florida last year. Can they pull off the impossible after an emotional win for $atan? Hmmmmm
DOMERS vs. PITT: Take Pitt giving 7 at HOME. Domers might have turned a corner and the downward spiral may have begun.


Your MMQ refuses was a respectable 2-1 last week on the upsets – but my best bet, LMU and the points (9) was a, ahem, tie…And you KNOW what that means…DAMN THOSE REFEREES! But Navy and Stanford came home huge.

This week, the MMQ Upset Alert Sense is telling me

Stanford, maybe, over the RUBBERS? At least take Stanford and the 11.
I hate to do this, but: DOMERS over PITT. Yeah, I know. But with their backs against the wall, the Domers might do something stupid…I am not sure I can stand by this one for the entire week. I may have to pull it off the table on Friday.

Nothing else is really saying “Upset” this week to me….

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