I first heard this at a customer some years ago when they were asking for yet more cost reductions and the buyer tried to put a humorous spin on it. I was reminded of it on Saturday as I sat sipping a tall, cold glass of golden depression cure at a local pub as I watched the 2nd half unfold. What in the hell is going on? I am still almost too dazed and confused to even begin to wrap my mind around it…
That’s what being a “Those Who Cannot” fan feels like at this point. What the hell was Forcier thinking???? 5 turnovers? Did he have OSU giving the points?
Bo Schembechler (and others) have said that a Quarterback can’t necessarily win the game for you…But they can certainly lose it for you. With all the rumors swirling around Pre-Game with respect to Tate not being there, the “Tebow-like” speech after the game, it makes you wonder if this kid is the “million dollar” arm and ten cent head mentality of Ryan Mallet…It also makes you wonder if his days as a “Those Who Cannot” player are numbered. And if they are, what then?
But I digress. I know all of you want to hear my take on this classic game. And here it is: HANG ON TO THE GOD DAMN BALL AND YOU WILL WIN A LOT MORE GAMES!
Oh, how ill I was after this game. It was winnable. We were moving the ball. OSU couldn’t do the things they wanted to do. If we score on the first 4th quarter drive, it’s a completely different game. If we don't spot them 7 to start the game…I am seeing Notre Dame all over again…Was that only this year that we were so absolutely giddy with a victory over one of our most hated rivals? It seems like a lifetime ago.
I was ill, knowing that I am looking at a weaker defense next year with the loss of key players from the senior class. I also know that the offense will be weaker, based on the latest performance. And until we can figure out that possessing the ball is better than giving it away, well….BOHICA seems like a new rallying cry for this team next year vs. All In for “Those Who Cannot”.
I will try a final analysis, but in the end, what’s the point? We simply aren’t that good of a team right now and I am not sure we get all that much better next year.
The Ledge – or the Race to 6-6…Sparty Wins!
THOSE WHO CANNOT Reasons to put ONE FOOT ON THE LEDGE AND THE OTHER STEPPING OUT INTO THE ABYSS AS WE BEGIN TO TEETER AND BEGIN THE PLUNGE:
Let your body fall into the blackness and become enveloped in the cold darkness until there isn’t any more noise or Pain and you can wake up with a renewed vision next year…Of course, there’s always basketball…
THE REST OF THE MESS
The New Theme of the Rest of the Mess:
“Schadenfreude” - A German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Tex Tech vs. Laters: I had a feeling…Is Stoops seat getting a little toasty? A team that was a pre-season top 5 is now looking at not making a bowl…The MMQ predicted that The Laters weren’t going to be that good, but jeez, 6-5? And guess what? Stoops has never been .500 at Oklahoma…Yep – I’d say it’s getting a little toasty.
Uconn at DOMERS: (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!) Schadenfreude…..But, misery loves company. Well, I guess it’s all but a foregone conclusion that C. Wuzzles will not be coaching the Domers next year. After all, Charlie claims he would understand if the Domers canned him…Of course, he also understands that he’ll be walking away with $15-$18M of Leprechaun GOLD also, but hey, he earned it, right? And if he isn't canned, do the Domers finally retaliate by not going to home games? Refusing to buy tickets? No longer supporting the program? I doubt it. So, in some weird universe where Charlie does keep his job, it would be wonderful to see and have him around to poke fun at again next year. For if the Domers get BK from Cincin…Well, let’s just say I’m nervous. Oh, and that rumor about Urban Legend going to South Bend? Fuhgettaboutit….He’d be a fool to try to take that over and resurrect it. Or would he?
PSU vs. SPARTY: Schadenfreude…Sparty, Sparty, Sparty…I never know which team is going to show up. I hate to say SOS, but man, I have seen better out of you all year and you don’t show up on your last day at home. If Michigan’s a mess, Sparty is a Riddle wrapped up in an Enigma…
LMU vs. Ole Miss: Anyone catch the end of this game? I couldn’t have timed it better and let me tell you, if they aren’t screaming for Mr. Miles Head on the Blogosphere, they will be. In case you DIDN’T see it: LMU needs a Figgie with 28 seconds left…They WASTE 16 seconds before calling a time out. They MAKE THE PLAY putting them in FG range with 2 seconds left and then they try to stop the clock by spiking the ball instead of getting their field goal unit out there to kick. They were at the 5 yard line! I would have had the FG team ready and waiting…What a mess. That could be your next head coach, ladies and LMU isn’t going to a BCS game…Last year, Ole Les was 7-5. Hmmmm….What a difference a couple of seasons make. My guess is LMU is reviewing that contract for total wins and seeing if they can get out of it without paying off Lester if they decide to can him…
Cal vs. Stanford: Jimmy couldn’t pull off the miracle and win the PAC 10 outright this year…That would have been something. Still, it’s not bad to beat two of the better teams in the league in your third year…That’s better than his alma mater has done.
Ducks vs. Arizona: Another OT finish in a clutch game for a BCS berth…The Ducks prevail and it all comes down to a Play-off in the PAC 10 of Oregon vs. Oregon State…Beavers vs. the Ducks…Hee-hee…Where’s Pete Carrol? At McDonald’s….
Idle Thoughts From Saturday
1. Well, you know, at least it’s only one more time..
2. WE SUCK!
3. Are their medications for what I’m feeling? Hopelessness? Despair?
4. Give me a case of whatever.
5. Domers have to be feeling the same way…
6. USC, Laters, K-State, and others feeling blue, too…
7. What is the BCS going to look like?
8. Methinks Boys State is about to get “BOHICA’d”…Hard, without lube.
9. TCU is the newest love child of the BCS.
10. Can’t have two newbies to the big money games.
11. Big schools will push and use their leverage.
12. Interesting that two of the winningest programs are in the provervial basements.
13. Can anyone think of lower points in the Michigan and Domer Programs? Ever?
14. OSU isn’t that good.
15. And they're the pride of the Big 10.
16. Okay. I accept that the Big 10 might not be that good.
17. But when you’re not good, there’s only one way you can go.
18. Harbaugh: “If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.”
19. I think one of his coaches in college taught him that…
20. Did I really feel that good about this team on September 12th? Really?
21. 7-5 Next Year or good bye Rich…It’s that simple.
22. There are too many other guys we can talk to.
The Hot Seat
That’s a Wrap!
I can’t seem to find ANYONE that you guys would rather see than Erin Andrews. For the last 4 weeks, she has walked away with the voting only to see one close vote when Jessica Alba came into the fold, as it were. This week, it wasn’t even close with Erin getting nearly quadruple the votes of her nearest competitor. Uh fellas (and gals), there are other females that exist besides Erin. But I can’t argue with your logic. So, without further ado, let’s just give it to Erin and I will continue to find and place, shall we say, different pictures of her in the column for all of our enjoyment…From loyal reader Chris – Thanks!
HOT SEAT RANK
This is when it gets interesting. Rivalry Week. Thanksgiving Holidays. Coaches getting the Ax...One fatted one immediately comest to mind, but still...What if they don't can him? It might be that much more fun watching the Domers next year? Don't you think?
1. Wuzzles – Oh Charlie…The MMQ to Charlie Memorial is in the works.
2. Bobby Bowden – Bobby, do yourself a favor and let go…
3. Stoops – Got to be feeling a little tension.
4. Al Groh - still there…
5. Rich Rod – He’s not getting canned, but the Flame is on ULTRA BOIL.
6. The Ole Ball Coach
7. Richy Rich - Had to move him down…UGA, the Bull Dog, died from a Heart Attack. So, there is some sympathy for Mark Richt this week…
GETTING COOLER – or Icy Cold – Or – The List that ND $warbruck$ is going to call to be told, “No Thanks.”
1. Harbaugh - Beating Arch rival USC twice in Three seasons? Yeah, Jimmy gets it...
2. Petersen - Not likely...
3. Brian Kelly - Hello Domers, well Hello Domers! I promise you that you will be proud of this team in LA on November 27th, 2010!
4. Meyer - Loyal assistant returns to raise the bar?
5. Saban - Wouldn' that be something...
THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!
Uh, it’s Turkey Day, Remember?
But Wait, there’s a college GAME on: Texas vs. Texas AM…The classic without the Aggie bonfire on Turkey Day. So, turn off the Lions and turn this on.
Black Friday – Or, “Honey, I can’t go shopping, there’s a game on!”
Pitt vs. WVU: The Backyard Brawl. Pitt is looking to reinforce their bowl position.
$atan’s Warriors vs. Auburn: The Iron Bowl….Hmmmm…Is $atan’s team beatable?
Cornsuckers vs. Colorado: Lookout Cornsuckers…Colorado is playing for pride and you’re in as the North Rep…Could be a letdown game for the Cornsuckers.
Every Day Should Be Saturday
Clemson vs. South Carolina: Ole Ball Coach needs a win…
Okie State vs. Laters: Can Okie State resist making their arch rival 6-6???
GATORLAND vs. Bobby: Damn…I wish Bobby could go out with a bang. Wouldn’t that be something?
Virginia vs. Va Tech: Va Tech needs a win to improve their bowl slot…Will they get it from a less than inspired Groh team?
Cremesicles vs. Kentucky: This game matters to these two.
LMU vs. Arkansas: Always a good game. Les will be in hotter water if he loses this one.
DOMERS vs. Jimmy Harbaugh: Think $warbuck’s will interview Jimmy for the job while he’s there or wait until Stanford plays it’s bowl game?
UCLA vs. Southern Cal: This game used to mean something. Maybe Pete Carrol will be available for Michigan or the Domers. Pete has Midwest roots, don’t forget.
I’ll predict the following victories and point spread picks:
Cardinal over Domers
Arkansas over LMU
Okie State vs. Laters
Take A&M and the 22 points over Texas in the rivalry game….