Monday, November 14, 2016


Coming to you live from Siesta Key, Florida!

A Slightly Abbreviated version of the MMQ – please note the posting location and know that there are beaches to be roamed and Bloody Mary’s to be sipped!!!  In other words:  Life Goes On!

An MMQ Rubrick (If you don’t know what a Rubrick is, look it up!):

  1.  It’s not the end of the world.
    1. It may SEEM like the end of the world….but it’s not
    2. I cannot remember the last time Michigan won at Kinnick.
  2. Wilton Speight just had his worst game ever as Wolverine
    1. And believe it or not, that’s actually a good thing!
    2. Yes, yes it is.  Stop arguing. 
  3. I never like to complain about them, because I “sort of” am one and I know how hard it can be….
    2. The punting calls alone were atrocious
    3. Not to mention the targeting call after the summersault
    4. And did Iowa get called for offensive holding – once????
  4. Iowa hasn’t played that well all season…
    1. Remember that Ferentz is still THEIR coach and we still have Jimmy
    2. Yes – that’s a good thing, also!
  5. Michigan wasn’t the only undefeated to go down...
    1. And Michigan went down on the road, to a “pre-season” ranked team
    2. At night
    3. In front of grain alcohol crazed fans…
    4. In a game I predicted they might lose in the Pre-Season Spectacular…
    5. But then I got a little cocky.
    6. It’s still the B1G in November. 
    7. Anything can happen.
    8. Just like it happened in 1985…(HT: JG)
    9. But, yes, I remember this happening when Jimmy was QB…
    10. And it happened in Iowa.
    11. Against a not so great Iowa team.  I really hate Kinnick…
  6. Back to the end of the world thing
    1. Sometimes, in order to win, you have to lose
    2. I know, I know – would you back off for one single minute!!!
    3. Losing sucks!!!  I get it…
    4. The Cubs “Got It” when they were down 3-1…
    5. Michigan clobbered last season by the suckeyes in Ann Arbor after the suckeyes lost to sparty…
  7. And another thing:
    1. Anyone know how hard it is to “Win them All?”
    2. Run the table, so to speak?
    3. From a pure numbers standpoint, it’s almost impossible
    4. That’s when you take the probabilities over 12 games and multiply them out…
    5. For example, assume Michigan is an 85% favorite to win every game it plays…
    6. 85% to the power of 12:  14% chance to win all 12!
    7. Doesn’t even get to 50% until you reach a 95% chance FOR EACH GAME!
    8. And if one game in the 12 is 50-50…it drops below 2% to win all 12!
    9. Not to mention the emotional and psychological burden
    10. Do you maybe think it might be “Easier” now to win, after a loss?
    11. Just think about it….
  8. And think about this for a minute:
    1. When do you become more focused in any endeavor?
    2. My guess is you answered, “After a setback…whatever it might be….”
    3. When you cut a board to short…
    4. You sell something to cheap and could have made more…
    5. After a bad review with the boss or sudden career change…
    6. Whatever the case, a setback or a loss can suddenly re-motivate you and help you see EXACTLY WHAT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED and accomplished
  9.  Do you think Michigan knows EXACTLY what it needs to do now?
    1. Do you think Speight understands more clearly how valuable each possession is?
    2. How valuable each and every throw he makes is?
    3. Do you think J. Peppers understands he needs to make the most of every punt he catches?
  10. Sometimes...Sometimes, I really do think it’s better to live like you were dying!

    1. I know…But clichés work, too!
    2. And I really do like this song.
    3. My girls are BIG country fans and I have to admit, this one has grown on me.
    4. So, let’s do it! 
  1. And to everyone that has either texted or e-mailed me that the end is near:
    3. Win 2 more games and win the B1G and they’re in!
    4. They’re aren’t any other 1-loss teams better than Michigan…
    5. Right?  Who’s better this week that was WORSE last week?
    6. We’ll know a lot more on Tuesday night….
  2. So anyone who’s reading this that was hedging on whether or not they were going to the Indiana game Saturday…
    1. You know how sweet a victory over the Hoosiers will feel?
    2. Do you know that’s the tune up and recovery for the suckeyes?
    3. Do you know this is a special season regardless?
    4. Don’t you want to see this team off to Columbus with the fullest Wolverine Support?
    5. Hope to see you all there!!!

Do you think anyone in Indiana is happy Michigan lost this week?

Me either…

Bring on the Hoosiers!

The Rest of the Mess

Black Saturday – 2016!!!

As was texted to me after the Clemson debacle and in the middle of the “Iowa mess”, could this be the Black Saturday of 2016?  Could Be!!!

Rutgers @ Sparty:  Huh.  How bout that.  Sparty was able to drill the other 2-7 B1G East team 49-0!  So has Sparty turned a corner?  Unfortunately in Florida I was unable to see the game.  They didn’t get “The Ocho” or whatever channel this game was on….Question:  Can you also beat the suckeyes?  That would be interesting…

Fuzzy Rodents vs. Cornsuckers:  Fuzzy Rodents sort of falling off the face of the earth at this point.  Had a chance against the cornsuckers and couldn’t close the deal….

WVU vs. Texas:  Another nail in the Strong coffin….I’m not sure there’s any way for Strong to recover from this season and its more or less over except for the ceremonious dumping that I’m sure is to come.  The question is:  Does Texas do it this week or wait till the end of the season?

PSU @ Indiana:  The Hosers game the Lions all that they could handle, but Franklin kept the nittany lions composed and kept them in the B1G East race

Mississippi @ Texas A&M:  do you think the committee will drop Texas A&M out of the top 15 now that they have 3 losses?  Let’s not forget that a mere two weeks ago this was a top 4 team….

Pittsburgh @ Clemson:  Clemson “Clemsoned!” I will admit – this was the only game I watched (more on that in a minute) besides the Michigan game and it was well worth it!  Back and forth with little defense to speak of.  Battling a botched extra point albatross for the entire 2nd half, Narduzzi’s Panthers drove down for a final Figgie attempt with no time left on the clock and Blewitt didn’t Blow it!  He nailed it through the uprights for the road victory!  I won’t say Clemson is out of it – more below!

USC @ Washington: USC isn’t the pushover they were when they played Bama earlier in the season.  In fact, based on the little bit I saw on Saturday, USC looks very good, especially on defense.  There’s going to be some additional clashes coming in the Pac 12 and the path for a Pac 12 team just got harder…That much is sure.

5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1.  Denial and Isolation:  Michigan, Clemson, and Washington Fans.  All these fans are rationalizing their losses about the same way.  Just win the rest, and everything will be fine.  But you still have to win the rest!
  2. ANGER:  You know what – based on texts and e-mails, I’m putting Michigan fans in here this week!  Yep, you’re an angry bunch.  With everything from 19-22 year olds not executing to lousy play calling and inept refereeing.  I get it, there was a lot to be angry about, but much like Trump – THE PATH IS STILL THERE!!!
  3. Bargaining:  Every 1-loss team (especially Louisville) that believes they’re better today than they were before Saturday.  While that may be true and Louisville and the suckeyes might slip into the CFP FF, they are going to have to hope that some of those teams that lost on Saturday lose again….
  4. Depression:  Because I can’t leave these two fanbases out of the Slappy Fan Grief section:  Sparty and Domers.  Both win huge blow-outs over inferior opponents leaving their fanbases wondering:  Where has THIS TEAM been all season?  Too much, too little too late.  But maybe they can be bigger spoilers in the weeks to come!
  5. Acceptance:  Too many to list as always in November. 

Idle Thoughts from Saturday

-Ahh….the Beach!

-Yep, I do enjoy the beach….

-And Bloody Marys!

-Nothing better than waking up early and hearing the waves lapping against the shore…

-And even better – walking on the beach

-To watch pros Build Sand Sculptures!

-I know this isn’t football, but isn’t a little break from Football nice?

-Except when you meet this crazy Michigan fan…

-That’s me next to him. 

-I know!  It’s like we called each other and said, “It’s the Maize “Hail” shirt day!”

-For the away game, of course!

-These guys are amazing.

-I’m hoping to get someone to join us next year as I want to compete in the Amateur Competition again!

-The amateurs were really good this year.

-I have Something that I have to get off my chest:

-And this may sound a little “Trumpish”…

-Bikinis, like yoga pants, need a weight limit. 

-Associated with a Skin to Material ratio!!!

-So, let’s say you’re a female that’s120-160

-It’s okay to have a little junk in the trunk…

-Seriously!  Tells me you’re a confident woman that’s still comfortable with her body

-And has an appetite for life!

-You can have a skin to material ratio of say, 15-1.

-Cause, you know, than its okay to show more skin!

-but once you reach a critical mass, you’re material:skin ratio needs to GO DOWN!

-Meaning:  More material…

-Like 5:1. 

-I know this is going to set a bunch of people off, but….

-Buuuuut….You don’t see the ole MMQ wearing a Speedo.

-And I will!!!


-Clemson Clemsoned!

-Michigan Number 2! 

-Assuming they beat Iowa…

-Bad thought.

-Here we Go!

-I hope the team doesn’t know I took a “weekend off” to suck up some rays..

-I mean, I know my focus doesn’t have an impact on their performance, right?


-These ref’s suck…

-Play calling could be better…

-Speight – what are you doing?

-Jeez...Just let the kid punt, fergodsakes…

-If you can’t get to him, stop trying.

-Worst 1st half of the season.

-They have to play better 2nd half.

-By texting that, I didn’t jynx the Wolverines..

-As was texted back.

-How quickly the Michigan Fan Base has adjusted from the Rich Rod-Hoke days of doom

-Excellence expected, off days and games will not be tolerated.

-To anyone that texted me:  If we play like this against the suckeyes, well be destroyed.

-No offense, but DUHHHHH!

-Everyone has a bad game.

-Losing 1 doesn’t hurt Michigan.


-Stay positive.

-Jimmy will do more with this loss than we would have with a win.

-Anyone, ANYONE that thinks otherwise doesn’t know Jimmy!

-OR the heart of this football team!

-Take a breath and relax…..


So, let’s think about this for a minute…based on what we know about the committee and their tendencies  - NOTHING! – we can assume:  a loss against a conference team isn’t a terrible thing.  Alvarez will convince the committee that Iowa is the best damn 6-4 team in the whole world…In addition, the only 1 loss team I can see going ahead of Michigan is the suckeyes…so let’s figure this out:

  1.  Bama
  2. The Suckeyes
  3. Louisvile
  4. Clemson
  5. Michigan
  6. Washington

But, here’s the rub:  The Suckeyes are doomed in CFP.  If they beat Michigan (Yikes….) PSU has a path into the B1G Championship, actually giving Wiscy a decent shot at the CFP.  If anything, the suckeyes needed and wanted Michigan to beat Iowa…so, for all the sucktards out there that are rejoicing that Michigan lost…that actually hurt your chances. 

Again, the path for the top 6 are very clear:  Just win!!!

The Hot Seat!!!

Week #11’s Hot Seat Mascot:  Another Blonde for the Battle at the End of the Regular Season!  UFC Ring Girl Jhenny Andrade!!!

Electric Chair of Death!!!

  1.  Charlie Strong:  Don’t see a path for this NOT Happening at this point.  Just a matter of time.  Could happen before end of season as Texas lays out a transition path and “swim lanes” for success.
  2. $warbuck$ and Kelly:  This one is tricky.  $warbuck$ won’t fire him and the Domers are playing better, but against who?  That’s what the fans are saying. 

The Hot Seat

  1.  Malzhan – Auburn.  Seat is hot, but can still win the Iron Bowl in two weeks and everything is fine…
  2. Butch Jones – Cremesicles.  Nearly lost to Kentucky.  Fans have reached their limit with what they can tolerate…
  3. Rich Rod – Arizona.  What is happening to the Rod?  Is he retiring on the job???
  4. Grobe – Baylor...But who are they going to get to take over that Hot mess???
    The Short list of Available Candidates will Return!!!
    Crystal Classic Photos!
    Presented without commentary…the work speaks for itself!!!

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