Monday, November 13, 2017

Turtles Being Turtles...

Game Highlights courtesy of the BTN:

Let’s review the fundamentals of Michigan vs. Maryland:

1st half domination:  Check

2nd Half Don’t Show the Enemy ANYTHING on tape:  Check

Michigan Running GameEvans Hurdle at the 7:30 mark in the Highlights clip.  Again, Check

Michigan Defense:   Gave up a lot of yards, but also nearly returned an End Zone INT for a TD/Pick 6.  And another INT in the 4th Quarter.  So, Check

Michigan Passing Game:  Incomplete.   I know, Brandon made some great throws, but he also made some bad ones. 

Lose the Stats Game:  Maryland 340 Total Yards – Michigan 305.   Check

Special Teams:  Blocked Punt – VERY GOOD!!!  Kicking:  Nordin needs a testicle check or needs to think of blondes or brunettes or something…And the punt return game (DPJ) is non-existent and this should have been a game where something happened.

Referees:  Suck Big Green Donkey Balls….

After a first half where Michigan more or less clobbered Maryland, Michigan went into a 2nd half shell on both offense and defense.  What’s unfortunate is that in doing so, guys get banged up.  And I hate that.  If you’re going to do that, put in 2nd stringers and protect your players. 

By the way:  When did Pass Interference stop being a “thing” you could call?  There were at least two times that PI was clearly taking place against Michigan on Saturday and it didn’t get called.  Once on DPJ and another time on a different receiver that I can’t recall.  Never the less, what the hell are the refs doing when it comes to that call?
Early ref rant as the rest of the game was fairly unremarkable. 

Yes, Peters threw for a TD.  YEAH!  But he was 9 of 18 and some of his throws were utterly atrocious.  Meaning he needs work – a LOT OF WORK – this week if Michigan has any hopes of going up to Madison and pulling out the win.  But if he would have received a couple of those PI calls, things would have looked different. 

Yes, Michigan’s running game is alive and well, although I’d like a little more information on Higdon, which we’ll probably get today

Michigan’s Defense did what it should do against a 4th string QB.  Do you even plan to use a 4th string QB?  Isn’t he there just for looks?  

Very nervous about the Rashan Gary arm injury. 

This was not the game to lose guys in and Higdon and Gary are more or less “irreplaceable”.  I get the next man up thing, but still.  Those two are key to both the offense and defense.  I’m nervous even if they are healthy enough to play Saturday as they won’t be 100%.

Derk’s Terps did the best they could.  I almost don’t want to write this up as it seems like Michigan has been playing the JV the last 3 weeks and while the wins have been nice, they haven’t been very satisfying.

Not to say that losing any of those games would have been tolerable.  The problem is that Michigan does very Michigan things when the competition is weak and they have issues when someone is just as good or a little bit better (Sparty and PSU).
Now, Michigan is back to worthy opponents.  Potentially without key guys on the roster. 

I’m back to being nervous…

The Rest of the “Hot” Mess

Everyone that has either e-mailed or stated that Bama and Clemson were the only worthy teams out there, well, you were wrong.  And November is upon us!

YHMA You Have My Attention

Canes:   The beauty of the Canes playing the Domers was someone I hated was going to lose.  What I DIDN’T see coming was somebody getting their ass handed to them on a platter.  The Canes look very much like a CFP team and I see them winning the ACC in undefeated fashion.  Clemson’s Defense will not be able to handle that offense and the Canes Defense is maturing and coming into its own.  Miami could be the sleeper and I’m sorry I disrespected them in the pre-season. 

Auburn:  I saw this coming as did a lot of wise guys.  Georgia was doing things to BAD SEC East teams and that was fine.  But the SEC East is still two or three notches below what the SEC West has become.  At least good teams in the SEC West.  And Auburn will make the CFP Final Four with a win over Bama and a win over Georgia in the SEC Championship. 

TIYFC - Turn In Your Football Cards

Cornsuckers:  The Boat Rowers made you look like a bad high-school team. I didn’t expect you to win, but losing in the fashion that you did is what you need to be ashamed of.  Everyone knows that Minnesota’s strength is rushing the ball.  Didn’t you even watch film?  Over 500 yards given up is a sin, Nebraska.  A SIN.  And Minnesota is one game away from a Bowl!

Hawkeyes:  Okay – you beat maybe the best team in the B1G convincingly at home.  But then you can’t at least validate it by staying close to the 2nd best team in the conference in Madison?  Look, I get that Madison is a tough place to play in November, but still.  Bad Form Iowa…

TCU:  Are you guys sure you can compete in the Big iiX?  I expected a game here based on a couple of comparison games and The Horny Frogs simply didn’t show up.  Not a surprise as they have sucked on the road, but still, I figure the game against the Laters was big enough that you’d be competitive. 

CUD – Complete, Unmitigated Disasters!!!

Georgia:  While Georgia can still play its way into the CFP, perfection is required at this point.  And frankly, I don’t see a way for Georgia to win the re-match on a neutral field against Auburn.  Bama is beatable at this point (and they should have lost Saturday) so I guess every Dawg fan just became a huge Tide fan in two weeks. 

Domers:   41-8???  Don’t despair, Domer Fans.  You’ll still make a nice New Year’s Day bowl game where half your seniors won’t play.  If this game taught us anything its that the ACC also has upper echelon and lower echelon teams.  Yes, you still may be able to say that your two losses are to the SEC and ACC Champions, but you still lost.  In bad fashion

Sparty:   No rain and no delay.  I thought D’antho’tonio could control the weather?  This game was over in the 1st half when the suckeyes scored their 5th TD. Sparty looked helpless and couldn’t even move the ball effectively.  I guess Sparty can win out, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s someone in the last two games that pulls an upset (Maryland and Rutgers – Yeah, I’m going there).

The Pac 12:  Effectively out of the CFP.  I can’t see a scenario where anyone from the Pac 12 gets in.  Again, 8 teams maybe, but with 4?  No…

WWB – We Won, But…We Should Be Worried

Bama:  You should send a thank you note to Mullen for not having the guts to go for it on 4th down with 4 minutes and change left.  Bama is vulnerable and everyone knows it at this point.  Auburn looked very impressive against Georgia and every Bama fan is nervous. Today, Auburn is your SEC Champion. 

And the Rest…

Purdue @ Northwestern:  Frickin’ Purple Kitties can mess up and otherwise good season.  Purdue has to win the last two to get to a bowl.  Can they beat Iowa (at Kinnick) and Indiana? 

Mizzou vs. Cremesicles:  Losing 50-17 finally gets you canned at Tennessee.  The Push for Gruden is on!  OR Frost…Or Mullen.  Or some other high profile that won’t want to touch the Vols with a 10 foot pole.  Les Miles, anyone?.

USC vs. Gatorland:  Revenge by the coach that was previously run out of Gainesville.  Muschamp got a little back from the school that’s still paying part of his salary.  Classic...
What Happened in Tennessee?

Now that Coach Jones has been canned and replaced by interim Brady Hoke (How bad is THAT?), a little review of how bad things are in Tennessee is in order.
First, you fired a guy that won you a National Title (Fulmer).  And he was well liked and respected, and you’ve had to wander the desert since 2008 and go through 4 Head Coaches as a result. 

Read that again:  4 Head Coaches in 9 years.  See the problem yet?  It might not be them…It might be YOU

The next hire for Tennessee needs to be the “Right” guy.  And he needs to be someone that the fans can rally around.  If you have another 3-4 years of ineptitude, you’ll be looking at a generation of crappiness and that will lose fans

And no, I wouldn’t even bother calling Gruden.  Tennessee, right now you’re a Tier 2 Job.  Someone has to come in and re-build you into a Tier 1 worthy of the right coach.  Gruden’s happy doing what he’s doing.  Fuente was good at Memphis and knows the state.  But I don’t see him making a lateral move at this point.  Of course, 2 weeks and 2 losses might make him at least listen. 

And Les Miles is still available and at one point he knew how to beat Satan.

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1. Denial and Isolation Georgia.  We still control our own destiny!   
  2. ANGER –Sparty and Hawkeyes:  After beating big time opponents, to come out and have the games you had pisses off fan bases.  Everyone saw a let down coming, but both of you really sucked…    
  3. Bargaining –1-Loss Contenders hoping for Chaos:  Oklahoma, Clemson (as now I have Miami over the Tigers).  OSU hoping for TOTAL CHAOS so that a 2-Loss Conference Champ has a shot. 
  4. Depression:  TCU – How does a team play so well at home and look so bad on the road?  Anyone?
  5.  Acceptance – Everybody Else.  Spoilers alive in the Acceptance Stage!

Idle Thoughts from Saturday

-A-Rod on Game Day – is that a new low?
-I mean, I dunno.  Something about that guy.
-Uh-oh:  Everyone picked Miami with the exception of Corso
-I like Miami today.  I think the U is back.
-But either way, someone I hate is going to lose. 
-Sparty getting CLOBBERED!
-Why does that make me feel good?
-I guess we still have a shot at the suckeyes is the reason.
-suckeyes on the road not as good as suckeyes at home…
-Still doesn’t completely explain performance at Iowa…
-And Iowa folding in Madison.
-What the hell….
-Clobber the suckeyes and don’t show up for a divisional game?
-I mean, Wiscy is good, but you made them look AWESOME.
-Michigan (hopefully) will fare better.
-Focus on Maryland first.
-TJH hosted the game.
-Great set-up in his basement with 3 Tubes…
-Auburn doing BAD Things to the Bull dogs
-And Georgia can’t run the ball
-Frosh QB finally caught up to you.
-That’s what good Defenses do…
-Michigan rolling.  Maryland not good.
-Poor Derkin.  That guy has some of the worst luck ever
-If Karma does even out, Derkin should win a B1G Title at some point.
-I know – I can’t believe I typed it, either.
-That’s almost like saying Rutgers could make the CFP
-But that one is impossible.
-Damn.  Higdon down. 
-Not a game to lose him.
-Oh no.  Gary Down. 
-This is not the game to lose guys
-Nice Pick!  Take it all the way!
-Wiscy on deck. 
-And they looked great. 
-Does Michigan have a chance?
-Maybe.  Peters needs to get a little better


1.    CANES/Clemson – You beat a team in the CFP Top 4.  That gets you the 1 spot. – 1 and 2 Should take care of this ACC has 2 team in issue
2.    Oklahoma – Win and they’re in…   
3.    Wiscy:  They’re deserving this week. 
4.    Auburn – Ditto.  I knocked out Bama cause of the way they looked and they are simply too banged up on Defense.

Undefeateds and 1-loss Lurkers:  Bama. I guess if they win they’re in.  Other than that, maybe 2-loss suckeys?

Everyone else needs a lot of help

The Hot Seat

Adding Jones to the list.


We’ll keep track of who’s gone as the season progresses….
  1. “Holier than Thou” Hugh Freeze
  2. Andersen – Oregon State
  3. Kugler – Texas El Paso 
  4. Tyson Summers – Georgia Southern
  5. McElwain – Florida.
  6. Butch Jones - Tennessee 

Electric Chair of Death!
  1. Sumlin – really thought that would happen last week.
  2. Riley – Lost to Northwestern and the Gophers. 
  3. Bielema   - Clobbered by Arkansas.  Wasn’t even close... 
  4. Mora – UCLA will be shopping at the end of the season

The Hot Seat

1.    Fedora – UNC
2.    Beatty – Kansas. 
3.    Lovie Smith – Illinois hands Indiana first B1G Win
4.    Ruhle – Baylor
5.    Taggart May be up for the Florida Job…
Who’s Hot?
Brohm (would he leave Purdue after 1-season for a pressure job?)
Who won’t leave:
Chip Kelly – Really has to be the right job. 

This Week’s Top Whatever
Spencer Hall wraps up Week #11 with a hilarious look…And you have to click the link to see the fight that broke out between Domers and Canes fans.  (Spoiler:  Domers win the brawl!)
I Don’t Always Like What Bilas Says…
But he hits it out of the park with respect to fixing College Hoops and stating that Emmert should resign effective immediately.  He’s the only NCAA President that has overseen a collapse in the integrity of what the NCAA is supposed to be about. 

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