Monday, October 10, 2016

Ruh-Roh Rutgers - You're Not Good...

“Ruh-Roh, Raggy!”

If Scooby-Doo was the 2nd man in the booth doing the color of the Michigan – Red knights game, you would have heard that a lot as he commented to the play-by-play guy….

And this is TOTALLY REAL by the way:

RuthsCris is running a promotion to discount your meal by the point differential of all the remaining Michigan Games Final scores!  Unfortunately, its capped at 50% so you can’t go grab a Porterhouse for 78% off this week until Thursday.  Rumor has it Jersey Guv Chris Christie might make the trip cause it makes financial sense for him based on the number of steaks he can down in a session…Anyway, if anyone’s interested, I’d love to head to A2 for a steak dinner!  Let the MMQ know what night works for you…I like mine bloody rare.

Speaking of bloody, Saturday night’s game between these two teams should have come with a TV – MA for mature audiences only.  What happened on the field was worthy of horror movie status, regardless of who you were rooting for.  My oldest daughter upon hearing the score was at first incredulous, and then asked, “Dad, don’t they have a mercy rule in college football?” 


Michigan more or less went back to the New Jersey Satellite camp and played a scrimmage against a team that didn’t have as much talent as you usually get at a satellite camp.  As proud as the Scarlet Knights were to beat Michigan 2 years ago, to “Begin the Rivalry” the first time Michigan visited there (if you recall they tore down the goal posts and there was much rejoicing), I have to say this:  Karma’s a bitch.  And I have a feeling that Rutgers will pay the price for that victory for many years to come.  Regardless of who’s coaching them.  BTW:  Was anyone ACTUALLY Coaching Saturday night?  I saw a lot of screen images and cutaways from the ugly slaughter that was happening on the field of some pissed off former ohio coach, but I didn’t actually see a whole lot of coaching.  Regardless of how big of a fence you want to put around the garden or how many secret societies come out to put a hex on the Wolverines.

When I saw last week that Rutgers only gained 113 yards against the suckeyes, I was wondering what the total would be against the Wolverines…..In case you missed it, as Yost from M-Zone put it on twitter:  When you got up to go to the bathroom during the game and came back to the TV, you probably had rushed for more yards than Rutgers….They ended the game with some garbage and got to 39 total yards with 5 yards passing.  And 2 first downs. 

I don’t know what to say about the knights with the exception that they ran into a very motivated team and coach, to say the least.  And when that happens, and you’re not fired up or ready to play on the other side of the ball…lots of bad things happen. 

I wonder if the B1G and Delaney are re-thinking their “Increase the Footprint” decision to let Rutgers into the conference.  I know if I was a president, I certainly would be.  Too many other issues including athletic embarrassments with the women’s volleyball coach and men’s basketball coach have marred the university to the point that the entire department is on the verge of becoming an in-extinguishable dumpster fire. 

On a good note – Michigan covered!  (The FMQ)

Next Saturday:  Byes are Nice!

The Rest of the Mess

Clemson @ BC:  Clemson rocked an undermanned and undergunned BC Eagles team that has Addazio still on the hot seat.  Dabo didn’t leave any doubt as to who the best team is in the ACC this week and they are in the driver’s seat for the ACC title…And they covered!  Woo-hoo! (FMQ jumping in there!)

Houston @ Navy:  Thank you Middies!  You ended whatever discussion may have still been hanging over about a team that beat a mediocre Big Xii team in the first game of the season.  The Tom Herman calls will definitely heat up now and it’ll be a race to see who gets him…and why! 

HUSKIES vs. the lack-of –a-quack-attack:  Okay Washington – I get it.  Final Score:  70-21.  You no like Oregon.  They no like you, but DAMN, that was a big ole hurt you just put on your rival.  I guarantee that Phil Knight is working the phones like a mad man trying to find out who wants a new gig up in Eugene.  The weather’s not that bad – really!!!

Domers @ NC State:  Hee-hee….HAHAHAHA!!  In what was the first leg of what would have been dubbed the “Wolverine Fan’s Dream Trifecta or Parlay - whichever! (Sparty-Domers-suckeyes all losing)”, the domers went down in a deluge of a game that should have featured wet-suits, scuba masks and snorkels.  I haven’t seen that much water splashing since the last water polo match I went to.  B. Kelly is definitely in first place on the ECD (that’s the TLA for Electric Chair of Death cause it takes way longer to type that than Hot Seat!) due to the atrocious play calling and stupid decision making.  When you can get points in a game like this, take the points!  Instead, after his kicker had hit a 40 yard Figgie, on the next drive, the domers have 4-12 from the EXACT SAME DISTANCE and Kelly goes for it instead of trying for 3 and going up a score.  And he tries to pass… Dumb move…. 

BYU @ Save MD’s Heart:  SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS – SOS

This is the 2nd leg of the Trifecta that came home and Marc Donatello’s heart cannot bear much more of this.  You can see the stress in his face in the post-game presser.  He’s a man that needs this team to win another game this season.  3 losses in a row and none of them were really close.  Maybe Indiana….Right now, everything that had made sparty great the last 2-3 seasons is gone – No gritty, take over the game Defense (in fact, I can’t recall teams rushing the sparty’s D at will in a long time) and an offense that looks like its running through jello and passing into the wind on every play.  Did the Italian Stallion just give up on the season when he pulled O’Connor and put in Terry?  That’s kind of how it looked.  And Marco said he wasn’t going to do that…give up on the season, that is. Talk about your eerie flip of scenarios as what sparty used to do pretty well is exactly what’s going on in Ann Arbor. Karma???  Somebody either tell Marcus he doesn’t have to continue doing this or he’ll explode when Michigan shows up in East Lansing on October 29th.  

Indiana @ suckeyes:  In what would have been the third and final leg of the Trifecta, Indiana fell just short.  This was a game that was a lot closer than the final score indicated, and I think most suckeye fans would agree.  If it hadn’t been for JTB (dammit) the suckeyes were in for a much closer game and a long afternoon.  Indiana took everything away from the suckeye offense – that didn’t look that good, and found ways to score on the suckeye D.  Some folks in Madison are looking forward to the Suckeyes visit next Saturday….Positive Note:  IU COVERED!!! (From the FMQ)

Cremesicles @ Texas A&M:  Tenessee proved to be everything they’ve advertised and done all season.  They fell behind and didn’t look good in the first half, came back with gritty determination and sheer will in the 2nd half, tied the game and lost a heartbreaker in OT.  While I think a lot of people thought that A&M was going to win this game, the cremesicles kind of made me a believer and they could easily be in Atlanta in the SEC championship…and then who knows?

LSU @ Gatorland:  First of all, this is Florida.  Somehow, every other team from the east coast that was affected by Hurricane Mathew figured out a way to get their game in.  Florida and LSU negotiated and couldn’t come up with a plan that Florida liked, so Gatorland said “F-it.  We won’t play this season!”  LSU is pissed, the SEC is pissed and now everyone has to figure out how to get this game in.  Nobody is going to like whatever solution they come up with and strangely, the rain in Gainsville didn’t look any worse than what was falling at NC State on Saturday.

Maryland @ PSU:  Derkins Terps looked good, but made too many mistakes against the Nittany Lions.  Franklin should thank his lucky stars for that as that win will move him down the Hot Seat list for the time being.  3rd best team in the B1G East this Monday:  Indiana.  Without question. 

Wazu @ Stanford:  Not sure what’s wrong with the Cardinal this season, but they’ve been exposed twice in as many games as being a not so good football team.  Shaw needs to right the ship or things could get ugly in Palo Alto. Aw, who am I kidding?  Shaw has a job there for life.  But what a waste of Christian McCaffery. 

Eye-wa @ Furry rodents:  In the Battle for Floyd (That’s the 80 Lb. Bronze Pig – It’s an iowa – Minnesota thing, folks.  Don’t try to understand, just enjoy it), the hawkeyes and the gophers went at it for the full 60 minutes, but the fuzzy wuzzies couldn’t finish.  Iowa keeps Floyd and takes him home to Iowa city for another season. 

Florida @ Kick-Karma:  Final Score:  20-19, Seminoles.  Right when the Cane’s thought they were improving under former alum Coach Richt and it was safe to head back to the stadium, the Seminoles come up huge after the game tying TD to block the extra point.  Fowler cursed the Canes by mentioning the PAT streak that the Canes were on.  Starting over at 1….

Red River Shoot Out:  Final Score:  45-40, Laters.  Stoops just did all of Burnt Orange Nation a favor by hanging the most points ever in the rivalry on Texas.  Charlie Strong is tied for first place on the ECD this week.  I’m not even going to speculate on who gets it first…Oh, yes I will.  But we’ll get to that in a minute….

Bama @ Arkansas:  Game wasn’t as close as I thought, but Arkansas got some licks in.  Starting to see gaps in the Bama Defense as the level of competition improves.  Texas A&M will need to exploit all of those and then some to de-rail the Tide….

The 5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

  1. Denial and Isolation Tennessee Fan.  It was a close loss to an undefeated team in the SEC West.  We’ll be fine.  Maybe we can beat Bama…..Stanford Fan also makes a first appearance on the Slappy Fan Grief write up.  Except fans in Palo Alto don’t get to worked up about….anything.  Colorado fans are here, too, looking for help from Pac 12 South…
  2. ANGER –The Domers are still here large and in charge.  Rock’s House at NDNation is literally boiling with fans ready for Kelly to be GONE.  Sparty gone, as they’ve entered the Depression phase.  Oregon Fans here as their team didn’t even bother trying to stop Washington... Add a few TCU fans here that are trying to figure out how they almost lost to Kansas as 28 point favorites  
  3. Bargaining –Quack Attack is still here.   Chip Kelly probably watching the situation in Eugene closely.  Sparty Fans are convincing themselves that victories over Michigan and the Suckeyes would still be a successful season.  After all, Tyler’s 1-0 against the suckeyes.
  4. Depression – Shorthorn Fans and the Domers…writing is on the wall for both coaches this week.  Starting over means at least 3 more seasons of “getting the right players in here” to work the system.  Sparty fan depressed and drinking, but Texas and Domers are at the top.  Gopher fans are down here as well, and I here that a special call has been made to Crown Royal and Makers Mark to make sure extra booze is shipped into the Twin Cities this week….
  5. Acceptance – My, how the list has grown half way through the season:  Purdue, Sparty, Domers, Shorthorns, Cardinal, BC Eagles, and the Gophers.

Idle Thoughts from Saturday

- Game day is the greatest program ever!

-Three hours filled with “Let’s get ready for College Football!”

-It won’t be the same without Coach Corso.

-If you didn’t know it, last Saturday marked the 20th anniversary of the “Donning of the Head Set”.

-Herbie had a lot to do with it as his ex-wife Allison was a cheerleader and coaxed the mascot to give up his head.

-And at first – the suckeyes and the mascot said no.

-But they finally came around. 

-Thank you suckeyes.  Corso putting on the head set is a great tradition, born out of passion.

-Gottta love the Coach!

-Here we go!

-Sparty looks bad…

-Indiana giving the suckeyes fits…

-JTB is having a big day.  Hosers – you still have to stop him!

-Domers and Wolfpack are playing on a lake…

-And that’s being kind.  There’s water EVERYWHERE! 

-Why are the Domers trying to pass?

-You’ve got big uglies – keep pounding and sooner or later something will happen…

-Kelly’s a boob…

-Don’t look now – Sparty on the ropes.

-What happened to the “Dynasty” in East Lansing?

-Something amiss?

-Too much talk, perhaps? 

-Is Big Brother intimidating you?

-Sparty goes down – in ugly fashion. 

-Domers lose…Kelly’s seat is ULTRA INTENSE!

-Indiana couldn’t seal the deal – but gave the suckeyes all they wanted.

-Here goes Michigan!

-Playing the State College of New Jersey

-TH stated that TH Senior would always call Rutgers that.

-And they were!  Until 1864.

-Then there were the Land Grant COLLEGE.

-Wasn’t until 1924 when they got their university status…so there.

-And apparently, that didn’t come with a football team.

-Even though Rutgers played in the first ever collegiate football game…

-And they haven’t been competitive since.

-Michigan did go 3 and out on its first possession.

-And I wasn’t even that upset. 

-Why?  When you have a Great Defense, you wanna see them on the field!

-This is getting ugly.  Rutgers – put somebody on the field that wants to play…

-Ash doesn’t look happy.

-In fact, he seems to be asking himself:  Why did I take this job?

-And he’s not coaching much…

-Except for all those recruits Ash brought in!

-Close to 100!  250 invited....

-Jimmy Harbaugh after game:  Thanks coach Ash!

-Yikes – we could hang 80 on these guys.

-86-0 is the Michigan record.  Against the Ohio State University!


-We thought we had a Michael Hirsh siting…

-That’s the Harvard kid that had the debilitating disease, fought back and walked on to Michigan’s team.

-He got in two games and got on the stat line against Hawaii and UCF. 

-Turns out we saw the wrong kid.  But I hope he gets in another game soon.

-Everyone else from Michigan pretty much got in.

-Rutgers is bad…Michigan is good.


So, now that we’re 6 weeks into the season known as the College Football Play-off, its getting pretty clear who’s got a handle on things and who doesn’t, now that Houston is out of the picture.  Assuming CHAOS doesn’t ensue in the 2nd half of the season, here’s what the CFP is going to look like come December:

  1.  B1G Champion:  And that will be Michigan, the suckeyes or Nebraska.  Yep, Huskers still unbeaten sitting at the top of the B1G West.
  2. SEC Champion:  Bama, Texas A&M or Tennessee.  I know Tennessee just lost, but they could still win the SEC East and clinch the conference title.
  3. ACC Champion:  Clemson.  They’re driving and everyone else is playing for 2nd place…
  4. PAC 14 Champion:  Washington.   I don’t think anyone can even hang with these guys. 

So, that means that from the time we started and all 128 teams had a shot (I know, not really) we’re down to 8 teams that have the most legitimate chance of getting to the CFP.

The Hot Seat

Week #6’s Hot Seat Mascot.  This week’s Hot Seat Mascot is ring girl Meisha Tate!!!!


We’ll keep track of who’s gone as the season progresses….

  1. Miles and Cameron – LSU Head Coach and Offensive Coordinator. 
  2. VanGorder – Domer D-Coordinator. 
  3. Ron Turner – FIU. 

Electric Chair of Death Seat!

  1. Charlie Strong Texas.  Strong earned the number 1 spot as he decided to take over the defensive coordinator duties, something that’s his forte.  But passion just isn’t there in Texas right now.  Giving up an average of 45 points a game is just ugly, ugly football.  And UT fans are tired of Charlie and want to move on to the next thing…

1.a. Kelly –Wow.  I mean, just wow.  First, that’s what you get for dissin’ the “weak ACC” as Kelly stated in a presser about getting to a manageable part of the schedule.  Welcome to conference play, Kelly, where everyone wants a piece of you.  In the manageable part of the schedule, Kelly is 1-2.  He’ll last the season, but the noise if the Domers don’t make a bowl will be loud and furious in South Bend. 

2.  Helfrich Oregon.  This situation is getting ugly.  Figured this out perusing the websites from Oregon I learned that Oregon was not nice to its fans while they were on the way up to success.  Insanely raising ticket prices, gouging prices at the concession stand, not caring about students in the process and an overall “you’re with us or you’re not” attitude has fans turning on Oregon and the AD.  Hmmmm…Sounds familiar.    

The Hot Seat – Guy’s that have Hot Seats but Won’t get Canned, Immediately

  1. Muschamp  - will this guy ever coach a team that can score more than 14 points????
  2. Marc Anthony MSU.  The Green and White one…Marc’s seat is going to start warming up, but not all the fans are going to want him gone.  Never the less, a 2-3 football coach is going to hear some noise from the press and boosters.  Count on it.
  3. Mullen MSU.  Not that one, the Mississippi one…Losing that bad to Auburn is going to make your seat a little warmer this week….
  4. Hazell  - Purdon’t.  just cause…
  5. Adazzio  - Boston College – gotta be competitive when the big boys come to town and keep in inside the spread….
  6. Whoever’s coaching USC
  7. Kirby Smart – still warm, but a nice win moves him down the list.  
  8. Franklin – PSU.   Ditto
  9. Malzhan – Auburn. 

Short List of Available or Desirable Head Coaches

  1. Jimbo Fisher – that was a narrow win Saturady, but he’ll take it….
  2. Kiffin – to the Domers?  
  3. Petrino Bobby would probably look at another SEC team if they’d take him..
  4. Hermann –Who’s going to get him?
  5. PJ Fleck – Still winning!  Row the Boat!
  6. Willie Taggart  - USF
  7. John Bonamego – Central Michigan
  8. Les Miles AVAILABLE FOR HIRE!!!!

NFL Side Note:  I tweeted yesterday that I’d trade Stafford for Carson Wentz “Right Now” if the Lions GM could make it happen.  And then Wentz through is first INT on the season. 

I think I’d still take Wentz.  I guess I’m in the “Not a Stafford Fan” Camp.
But the Lions found a way to win.

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