Friday, May 4, 2012

Kung-Fu Fighting....That Kid (WASN'T) As Fast As Lightening....

First….A Moment of Silence for the potential end of the Domer’s 2012 season. I say potential only because the Domer’s claim to have 4 Heisman QB’s on the roster and therefore, losing one shouldn’t hurt their chances whatsoever of winning double digit games this year…Never mind he was the only veteran QB on the roster…


Now, the true MMQ’s colors can shine through:


In case you HAVEN’T heard, Kung-Fu Tommy Rees was arrested after being at a house party that the SBPD (South Bend Police Department) raided. And, because there’s so much that happened and I know you probably don’t have time to read it all so I put it in an alphabetical with critical facts only: Kung-Fu Rees decided to

A. Take off running
B. Through the back yard
C. Hopped over a fence
D. Ran down a street with a cop chasing him
E. Got cut off by a cab (in South Bend?)
F. Knee’d the cop in the “chest” (my guess he was aiming for the groin and missed – kind of like those INT’s he kept tossing last season)
G. Got peppered sprayed
H. Was held down by the cabby until more cops showed up and finally
I. Arrested for felony assault.

Now, the felony charges have been dropped (which the ‘ole MMQ kind of figured would happen) but there are four misdemeanors that he’s been charged with not to mention a boatload of bad press out there.

What happens next is anyone’s guess in the Holier Than Thou Domer regime, but this is the same school that reinstated 3-beer Floyd after he was arrested with a BAC of 0.16 and didn’t miss a game. My guess: due to the fact that Kelly is already on the Hot Seat (and he’s just moved into the number 1 slot ahead of Dooley at Tennessee) and the whole charade of having “4 QB’s” in Irishland was just that, a charade to light a fire under Kung-Fu Rees’ behind, that Kelly will run the same playbook that he ran with Floyd. Let the press die down. Make a stern statement that Kung-Fu Tommy is on a tight leash. Literally sit on Kung-Fu Tommy until the season starts and state that he’s led an exemplary life since the incident 4 months prior and the “rest of the team shouldn’t suffer because of a bad mistake by their QB.”

What the Domers SHOULD DO:

Coach (and I use that term loosely as he probably won’t hold that title for more than 6-9 months) Kelly should immediately kick Rees off the team and go with the next best kid on the roster. That’s what good leaders do. Kelly will be without a veteran, but that never seemed to bother him much where he coached before. If they don’t kick Rees off, well, the ole double standard bar will have been raised up another notch and the Domers will have lost whatever respect they have left, which frankly, can’t be much. I don’t care who you are.

But, I do love enjoying the Domer’s misery…

I wish I was better doing things on the Internet, You-Tube and the like, and coming up with song parodies, but because I’m the MMQ, I just don’t have the time. If I did, however, I might put together an Ode To Tommy Rees...You know, a little diddy that went something like this…

(Cue “Kung-Fu Fighting” by Carl Douglas)

The Domer QB was Kung-Fu Fighting!
He wasn’t as fast as lightening….
Every Domer was criticizing…
It was just a little bit frightening

He was a funky Domer man
From funky Domer town
The opponents were picking him off
They were knocking him down
It was known as "Tommy Rees Ball"
And everybody knew he’d give it up
Kelly’s face would fly into a rage..
He’d shake Kung-Fu Tommy’s cage…

The Domer QB was Kung-Fu Fighting!
His 40 is not worth timing…
Every Domer was criticizing
And every Domer now feels like crying….

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