Monday, December 7, 2009

Championship Week - But Not for Everyone

Thank you all for the comments on last week’s submission on clearing up the whole Tiger Woods – Jimmy’s GF – Mangino thing….I thought it would help a lot of people put it all in perspective….I’m rarely right, but I’m always honest in how I perceive the world…And frankly, it did get more bizarre, at least for Tiger..but more on the World’s Greatest Golfer in a minute…

Depending on what you hear and believe, there are now reports coming out that the Rod could still be in a very grave situation at the University of Michigan, based on what develops with respect to the NCAA investigation. I can’t figure out what this means, as I really don’t think there’s anything that the NCAA is going to be able to find that will be worthy of any kind of sanction, penalties or other punishment. But we won’t know until we know, and Jeff Defraun of WTKA has been reporting (thanks Mvictors) that the Rod isn’t out of the hot water just yet on this mess…I dunno…Seems to me he’s still the only guy that can make heads or tails of this team right now. If he can coach the mess he has on his hands, I say let him.

Domer world continues to revolve around the rumors and innuendo regarding Ring Master $warbuck$ and who he will pilfer from which D1 school that has a coach that’s worthy of coaching the Domers…But here’s something he said:

“Well, I won't go into the specific criteria. We have developed a list of criteria to help us shape the search. But I think I will say that it is important to us to look first and foremost at people who have demonstrated an ability to build and sustain a Division I college football program (THAT CAN COMPETE IN THE BCS).”

Because, $warbucks, You ALREADY HAVE A D1 program that has sustained and stood the test of time. Do you mean you want it to be competitive and compete in A BCS Bowl year in and year out? I’m sure that’s what you meant…And if that in fact, was what you meant, well here’s some food for thought: Let’s make Notre Dame undefeated this season. The MMQ waves the magical wand of football mystery and the Domers are 12-0! Yes! There is much rejoicing in Domer land…until…the Rankings come out….

1. Alabama
2. Texas
3. Cincinnati
4. TCU
5. Domers
6. Florida

WAIT! WHAT’S THIS???? MMQ, are you suggesting that the Domers would not be able to play in the national title game because they’re not in a conference and the strength of schedule would be working against them? Yep – that’s what I’m saying. Until they figure that part out, they can turn the program around, get it back to 11 or 12 wins, and still find themselves on the outside looking in at the National Title Game…Of course, if there was a play-off…

I want to state here that some of the female readership may not like everything I am going to say next. Tough noogies.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has had a hotter seat this week than our ole buddy Tiger…I mean, jeez, this guy has had more doo-doo thrown at him than the head Pooper Scooper in a circus Elephant show. Of course, if he hadn’t been “Night” putting in those “bikini waxed” 19th holes after his regular round, he probably wouldn’t have all these problems. And did you see some of the Tiger Tamers??? I mean, dude…If the “Tiger Treats” have run out at home and you’re going to hit it into the rough… TRADE UP! However, I will say here, if you run with Skanks, this is the result you can expect. You are who you run with and that falls squarely on Tiger. Did he err? Absolutely. Is it 100% his fault – I simply can’t say that it’s 100% on him. The person wronged – in this case, Elin – has to take some of the blame. And so do the Skanks…they knew he was married, right? This defense that they’re simply “opportunists” is getting old. They’re skanks, okay? Running around and hitting on Rich, Married, well publicized guys makes you an “opportunistic” Skank…End of story.

And, I think Tiger is desperately in need of some readily available “Tiger Trap” advice when it comes to getting down with his bitches. There has been so much free advice in the press lately that you’d be an idiot to not adhere to it…But, you know the saying, the best advice usually goes unheeded.

1. Always Deny – Bill Clinton lesson 101. You aren’t guilty til someone proves it.
2. Never Leave Evidence – Clinton lesson 102 - Lewinsky Blue Dress debacle…make sure she’s naked before getting down…
3. Leave ALL The Electronics Home – Kwame K. should have taught everyone that texting and calling on a cell is a bad idea…In fact, the only safe way to communicate is probably disposable cell phones, one time e-mail addresses, or good old fashioned letter writing, but on disintegrating paper…Saturday Night Live has fodder for two or three shows on this….
4. Selection – If anything, try to find someone with more to lose than you…In Tiger’s case, this one’s tough. It would have to be someone like Beyonce or something to equal the impact of being discovered. She stays quiet, you stay quiet. No one is going to out anyone in that situation…
5. Location – 400 mile rule for non-famous people…Tiger needed to be thinking 4,000 mile rule for famous people.

I wonder if it’s better with guys like that to just not get married? I mean, look at Jeter. Girlfriend. Long Term. Not married. If he decides to do some “outfielding”, what’s at risk? Smart guy, see?

Pete Carrol, according to Wuzzles, is also having some recreational fun with a Grad Student in Malibu. Claims denied, but accusations stand…Sigh…Poor Pete, an 8-4 season and now this….Hee-hee….

In fact, it seems like it’s always the guy who’s at fault regardless of what happens…Sad world we live in.

Let me say here that as anticlimactic as I thought Saturday was going to be, the Games were Great! With one exception…

PITT vs. Cincinnati: Wow…I hate to see it come down to extra points and if there was ever a game that should have gone to OT to settle everything, this one had to be it. I guess you can say the best team won, but it was truly a game of inches and small details that made the difference in this one. I stopped counting turnovers, but the game was still one of the best Saturday had to offer.
SEC: GATROLAND AND $ATAN’$ WARRIORS – If you would have told me this would be the snoozer of the day, I would have said you were nuts. But, it was definitely a non-event that Gatorland simply didn’t show up for. Hats off to $atan for taking a page out of the 2006 Michigan-OSU play book and coming out in a spread formation in the first 6 plays of the game. Gatorland had geared down to stop the run and $atan took that away from them….Alabama might be the best team in the nation and the may take and hold that title for the foreseeable future.
ACC: THE WRAMBLIN’ WRECK VS. CLEMSON – Another good game…but the ACC has to be the weakest of all the super conferences…Iowa can beat The Wreck – if they play well.
BIG 12: SHORT HORNS VS. THE CORNSUCKERS….Are you kidding me? Bo…You have to tell that kicker that ne needs to kick that ball in bounds! And then the horse collar tackle? I really don’t like that call. MY job is to tackle you – I can’t grab the face mask and that rule I get. But this horse collar call is tough. And then the 1 second ruling after the McCoy brain fart - You can rant and rave all you want about the 1 second, but methinks you’re just trying to take all the attention off everything that Nebraska COULD have done to make sure it didn’t even come down to that. And let’s just say that Texas better have a LOT BETTER GAME than what we saw to have any chance to beat $atan….

Idle Thoughts From the Entire Weekend

1. Are Skanks and sluts the same thing?
2. Is Skank just more politically correct now?
3. When I saw a reference to a “skank” in a STORY in the USA Today, I couldn’t help but wonder where we’ve fallen to as a society…
4. Yes, Tiger was WRONG! Make no mistake…
5. But it takes two, or three (or in Tiger’s case it now looks like 6) depending on how you look at it to have an affair…
6. I am REALLY THANKFUL that I will only have to hear Tim Tebow’s name and college football in the same sentence for about another month.
7. Yes, Caryl, I’m a little sad as well. But I have definitely had my fill of Touchdown Tim and all the media coverage…
8. So, is everyone happy with the National Title Game? Didn’t think so…
9. Just for old time’s sake – do you think we’ll ever have a Division 1 play-off?
10. $warbuck$ made a meaningless yet insightful statement about the BCS and hiring a coach that gets it. I wonder if that means that he also understands that the DOMERS NEED A CONFERENCE!
11. Probably not…That will come when they go undefeated and are denied a title shot.
12. Or they make it and get crushed.
13. Kansas football program is DONE…Welcome back to the basement of the Big 12.
14. So, Alabama is the new love child of the press – at least until National Title Day.
15. I wonder if I was a Bama fan and I understood how $atan over recruits, screws upperclassmen, and essentially pushes every NCAA envelope, how I would feel about winning a National Title?
16. Probably bad, but not as bad as I feel right now being a Wolverine Fan….
17. Tebow 1st round?
18. You’d be a fool not to take him.
19. Bradford 2nd round? Hmmmmm…..
20. Can Charlie Weis just go away now? Shut-up your pie hole and you won’t get misquoted.
21. So, Pete – is the Grad Student hot or what?
22. I like some of the bowl match-ups…More on that in a minute…
23. Sigh…Another regular season in the books.

The Hot Seat

I didn’t think I would nominate another mascot this year after declaring Erin Andrews the winner. Based on the weekly voting and my unofficial tally sheet here on my desk, there was really no way for anyone else to pull off the come from behind upset. So, this week, while we won’t vote on her, but figuring that due to the fact that she’s in the news, already has a couple of rug rats, and, well, is loaded based on the pre-nup and latest Tiger settlement, Elin Woods looks good enough to be a Hot Seat Mascot!

Hmmm…Tiger was visiting Skankville with this at home?

And this?

What about this?

Of course, maybe she wasn’t taming the Tiger any more…Who knows…..


1. Wuzzles
2. Groh
3. Bowden
4. Mangino – Resigned before the Ax could get him…Unfortunate, really…


1. Tiger Woods – Yeah, I know. He’s not a coach. BUT HAS ANYONE’S SEAT BEEN HOTTER THIS PAST WEEK IN ALL OF SPORTS???
2. Rich Rod – Rumors persist that the Rod could get canned as a result of this NCAA investigation.
3. Stoops – He isn’t going anywhere…but seat is warm.
4. Les Miles – also warm, even at 9-3….
5. Richt – canned his defensive coordinator..someone had to take the fall…

This WEEK:

One Game – and if you haven’t ever sat through the opening ceremonies, I have to say you’re missing a good show.

ARMY – NAVY: Navy looks unstoppable…But they have to play the game.


You can see them ALL HERE on ESPN’s website….

TITLE: Alabama – Texas: Take Alabama. Texas can’t run with this team.
ROSE: Oregon –OSU: Oregon in a closer game than most people think…
SUGAR: GATORLAND vs. Cincinatti. Okay, the SEC has had a hard time in this game, unless they’re playing the Domers. I believe the reason is that this is usually the runner up in the SEC…I like Cinci here, Caryl. Call it B. Kelly’s audition for the Domer job.
ORANGE: Iowa vs. the Wramblin’ Wreck. I like Iowa.
FIESTA: TCU vs. BOY’S STATE: Hmm….The revenge of the BCS? No one gets to be a spoiler by defeating a “big boy” and the two little guys get to duke it out. I wonder of the Fiesta Bowl people are happy? TCU in a close game…
ALAMO: Tex Tech vs. Sparty….Take TT and hope that Sparty somehow keeps this close…
CAPITAL ONE: LMU vs. PSU: You know, this bowl usually has a great matchup and becomes the best game to watch on New Year’s day. I like LMU…
GATOR: WVU vs. FSU: FSU rallies and wins for Bobby…
OUTBACK: Auburn vs. Northwestern…This is a toss up. Really. Auburn regressed all season and the Purple Kitty Kats got better.
Chik-Fil-A: Va Tech vs. Cremesicles: Oops, Va Tech, you would have had an easier game in the Orange Bowl against Iowa….
Insight: Iowa State vs. Gophers: I like the gophers…Just a hunch.
SUN: Stanford vs. Oklahoma…Take Jimmy beating Stupor in a blow out…
HOLIDAY: Cornsuckers vs. Arizona: I like the Cornsuckers here….
CHAMPS: Gangstas vs. Cheeseheads…Hmmm…I think the Gangstas have an edge in this one…. Emerald: Rubbers vs. BC: I think USC destroys BC in this game…
Liberty: ECU vs. ARKANSAS… Arkansas in a rout…
Cotton: Okie State vs. Ole Miss: Major disappointment vs. Major disappointment…Which team can redeem their season?
PapaJohn’s: UConn vs. The Ole Ball Coach…Hmm…I like the sentimental favorite, but Spurrier with multiple weeks to prepare is going to be tough…

There’s more games than the MMQ cares about, but that’s a good start…

More posts, each Monday, through the bowls…

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