I Hate When Work Gets In The Way
- Redux
FMQ: Hey, MMQ, where
the hell have you been?
MMQ: Well, I had to leave
the city
on Monday and head over to the Windy City on a business trip. I was a late addition to the trip as I was substituting
for another person in the office. My original plan was to get to Chicago, park
my butt on a bar stool and bang out the Monday MMQ report.
FMQ: What happened?
MMQ: Ever come off the Sky-Way
in downtown Chicago at rush hour? That
was my first bad decision…of many as it turns out…
FMQ: Okay, well, how long
were you stuck in traffic?
MMQ: About an hour and a
half! But then I realized I made a mistake and typed in the
wrong address of the Hyatt I was staying in.
Long story short, you can’t swing a dead cat in Chicago without
hitting a Hyatt Hotel of some sort! (ed:
15+ Hotels in the greater Chicago area with the name “Hyatt” in the
title!)
FMQ: You Dumbass! Are you telling me you showed up to the wrong
hotel?
MMQ: (Sheepishly) Well…Yeah. It was an honest mistake. Twice!
I think I fat fingered the wrong hotel the 2nd time because I
know I type the address in Google Maps right!
FMQ: WHAT? You went to the wrong hotel TWICE!?!?!?!?
MMQ: Not Exactly! The 2nd time I was a LOT CLOSER
to where I actually needed to be!
FMQ: Sigh…so what time was it when you
got to your destination?
MMQ: 8:30 PM local time. So
there was roughly a delay of 3 hours in traffic and bouncing around downtown. I
actually checked in to the Hyatt Regency Downtown (on Wacker) and got to “The Big Bar” right about the time
the Lions started their Monday Night Football Implosion…
FMQ: So what are you
saying, exactly?? You got depressed or you
couldn’t find it in you to write up the game?
MMQ: No, not quite. I was actually watching the Lions
like you watch an accident happening.
Had my computer with me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off that debacle.
It was like watching a snow skier wipe
out and he keeps tumbling down the hill. It
just wouldn’t stop!!!
FMQ: Allow me to repeat: You didn’t have any time or make any time
this last week to do a write up from the Western Game? Tuesday?
Wednesday?
MMQ: My Turn Smart Ass! First, to answer your question directly: No! I was busy every day with lectures and events
that I needed to attend. And Thursday was
another travel day. Secondly: What exactly was there to write up? Michigan destroyed the Broncos, leading 35-0
before the end of the half and held them to under 100 first half yards. It didn’t get any better in the 2nd
half. I saw some good things and
I also observed that Western wasn’t the domers when it came to their
defense or their offense.
FMQ: So, that’s it? What about that Patterson TD to Collins?
MMQ: Well, yeah, I was glad
to see a passing TD to an actual wide receiver.
The first passing TD to a WR since September of LAST SEASON. I hope that’s not a trend. Only throwing passing TD’s in September.
FMQ: Wasn’t there anything
else you observed that you can provide insight on?
MMQ: Well, there was this:
Apparently doing the Crossword of the Day is acceptable when you’ve
spent
$65 for the ticket and you’re bored out of your mind with a 35-0 lead
in the first half. Oh, and I’d be remiss
if I neglected to point out that this was spotted:
FMQ: OK, that’s hilarious!!! Just say NO TO MASCOTS! And What’s with the Western Bronco fan with the flag? Eh, ignore that question. He looks drunk off his ass. Actually, that’s a perfect picture for games
like that. I get it. Boring as hell and all you’re thinking about
is going back to the tailgate to sit in a comfortable chair. But I think you’re just making excuses. You could have found time. I know you spent Monday night in the bar. How many other nights did you sit on a barstool
goofing off on your “business trip?”
MMQ: Ummmm…I don’t
believe I have to answer that question.
What I do with my evenings on a business trip is none of this blog’s
business. I really don’t think that’s a
fair question. The MMQ doesn’t work well
unless he believes he’s getting away with a little something at work...
FMQ: HOW MANY NIGHTS?
MMQ: Well, I did accomplish
this:
FMQ: That’s what I
thought! Screwing around instead of getting something
productive done. LIKE THIS BLOG!
MMQ: Hey! Remember I’m THE GUY THAT STARTED THIS
BLOG! You came along a lot later. You’re not even half my age yet!
FMQ: So what!?!?!? That means I can’t call you out for not
doing your job?
MMQ: You can yell all you want!
If the MMQ is NOT INSPIRED by either the outcome of the game or the opponent
played, he can’t be forced to peck away at the keyboard! And that was NOT an inspiring game. I mean, yes, it was a win, but it should have
been a win. You know something else? I just looked at the SMU stats and they are
actually ranked lower (statistically) than Western Michigan.
FMQ: OMG! That’s bad. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?
MMQ: I’m saying I’ll
go to the game on Saturday. Michigan
should dominate, again. I’ll be in the
office on Monday. Just don’t expect much
of a game report for SMU either if the outcome is similar! You know, HO HUM!!
THE FMQ
Well, I’m done with the MMQ. If he can’t be counted on to do his job,
screw him. I don’t really need him much
anyway. Last week wasn’t too bad, but we
still didn’t make any money. The biggest
and most disappointing loss was Michigan/Western not getting the OVER. That would have been two big bets that would
have come home…
Let’s see what’s on the slate for this
week.
On to this
week’s picks:
LSU @ Auburn (-10.5 O/U:
44 ): This spread seems a little strange. In what has become a budding rivalry of the perennial
2nd – 3rd – 4th place teams of the SEC West,
it’s kind of a “Big Game”. And the
score of this game as of late has been less than a TD of separation. I don’t believe for an instant that LSU is
back to the point of being able to pull off the upset, but never say
never! I’ll take the points…
Take LSU
and the 10.5 for $30
Take
the UNDER for $25
Vandy @ The
Domers (-14): The Domers looked horrible against Ball
State last week. So bad, that there was
a point in time where the game was in doubt.
I know, we’re talking “Michigan Let Down” after a big win, but
the Domers should have looked better than they did. Vandy is playing well this year. I’m not saying Vandy wins, but they’ll keep
it closer than 14. I think….
Take Vandy
and the 14 for $25
Bama @ Ole
Miss (+22.5): This line has moved a lot…I don’t
have any confidence that a re-tooled Ole Miss team can pull off this
upset. It is at Ole Miss and maybe there’s
a chance that Ole Miss can jump on Bama early to keep this spread in
check. Or it could be another Bama
route. Still, someone is going to
surprise Bama this season and, well, why not?
Take Ole
Miss and the 22.5 for $25
Miami @ the
Gophers (-13): Miami is not that good this season.
This spread jumped out at me as a little bit if a gift. Not sure what Vegas isn’t seeing in the
Gophers this season, but I’m seeing it.
Take the
Gophers and lay the 13 for $25
THE Sex Toy
University @ TCU (+13.5 MONEYLINE: TCU +$400): I was
so taking THE Sex Toy University on Monday when I saw this opening spread. But then I did some research and you
know what I found out? In TCU’s last 10
games where they are a double digit dog they are 9-1 ATS! You know something else? In 5 of those Double Digit Dog games, the
Horned Frogs won the game Straight Up!!
That tells me Patterson is a really good coach when his team’s a big
dog. I’ll take my chances with those
odds!
Take TCU and
the 13.5 for $50
Take TCU and
the MONEYLINE for $10
USC @ Texas (-3): This is an interesting spread. It’s like the battle of the once great
dynasties. Except it’s not the 2006 Rose Bowl.
Nope, gotta figure out who you hate LEAST in this one and go
with that guy. Neither team has looked
impressive in any of the games they’ve played.
I’m going with USC as the lesser of 2 evils…
Take USC and
the 3 for $25
Washington @
Utah (+6.5): Kyle Whittingham getting points at home is a
good thing. Utah’s record as a
home dog is impressive and I’m willing to bet that they keep that ATS number
healthy when at home. I’m not saying they’ll win the game, but it’ll be close.
Take Utah
and the 6.5 for $25
Mizzou @
Purdue (+6): Purdue is 0-2 on the season. I was going to lay off this game completely, but then I realized
that there’s no way that Purdue goes 0-3 to start the season, right? I mean, that just makes sense, doesn’t
it? Maybe they can keep it close. They’ve lost 2 games by a combined 3 points…
Georgia Tech @ Pitt (+2): I have no idea what happened to
Pitt in the 2nd half of the PSU game, but they clearly fell
asleep. Or maybe PSU is that good? Either way, this is a weird spread. I am not liking Pitt any more this
season and they are becoming a play against, no matter what the spread. Some
teams have that problem…
Take Georgia Tech and lay the 2 for $25
SMU @
Michigan (-32 O/U: 53.5) So, SMU is a worse team than
Western and this is a lower spread? Someone
in Vegas is doing too much math and not watching what teams are on the
field. I watched the SMU TCU game very
closely. Trust me when I say that the
SMU defense is worse than the Broncos.
Trust me also when I say the offense might be WAY WORSE than the
Broncos. This could be another long afternoon
in the Big House…
Take Michigan
and lay the 32 for $75
Take the OVER
for $75
PARLAY!
3 Bet/Team
Parlay: 6-1
LSU – TCU –
Michigan: $30
TOTAL
BET: $470
Bank: $441.50
Etc
Devin
Bush Hates LNU!
Like, surprise, right?
Everybody hates the green slime in East Lansing!
1 comment:
You would think that after 3 drunken nights in a Chicago bar, MMQ could come up with maybe ONE picture of a good looking, scantily clad woman. Nooooo, we get an old lady on a goddamn scooter doing crossword puzzles. Wow, how far the mighty have fallen........
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