Monday, November 25, 2013

Hawkeye'd...Where Has The Hope Gone?

6 yards???

Did I hear that correctly?  6 yards in the 2nd half with 7:30 to go in the 4th quarter….

This team starts out with a great ray of hope that turns into a nightmare of offensive execution in the 2nd half.  The pick-6 to start the game I think woke us all up and we thought that maybe  - JUST MAYBE – with the defense getting 7 for the offense that some pressure would be off and they could execute.

And the offense did…for 1 half of football.  Then, inexplicably, the 2nd half rolls out and Michigan’s defense doesn’t look as good – actually, credit the Hawkeye offensive adjustments to Michigan’s coverage and 4-3 alignment – and the Michigan offense can’t get out of its own way…Again.  Is this team lucky, good, bad or all of the above?

Taking away the loss over Sparty – they just kicked our butts - and there are 6 games that could have gone either way with each coming down to the end of the game or OT….

Akron….The first viewing of the inexplicable offense in the 2nd half…
U-Conn – The re-run of Akron and the “Uh-Oh” moment that a lot of knowledgeable fans had…..
PSU – I’m seeing a pattern here…
Cornhuskers…In it late, but no 2nd half
Northwestern – No 2nd half here, either…Yeah, they won…but did they really?
Iowa – Can’t play with a “Last team to have the ball wins” mentality when you haven’t executed all season as you need to in that role.

We’ve seen this movie too many times this season and there are times when I like the way it ends and there are other times…well, there are other times like Saturday.  When the final drive is interrupted with a turnover and its Game Over….

What does it mean for this Saturday?  I dunno.  There’s a very deep part of me that wants to believe that this team can play like the one that beat the domers Under the Lights.  But there is simply too much evidence to the contrary to hold that belief for very long.  Emotions and the home fans will keep Michigan in it for a quarter or maybe a half on Saturday, but I have a feeling that the better coached team that can execute will win the game walking away.  And right now, I don’t think that’s Michigan.

As far as how a lot of other Slappy Fans feel?  Well, here’s a venting e-mail I received from one passionate fan immediately following the Iowa game:

Either Gardner is an ABSOLUTE IDIOT or the coaches have screwed his head up beyond repair.  Either way, he is useless at this point.  I do not have film to figure out if I am delusional, but I would bet my life that Gardner was a far superior decision maker last year.  This guy is a literal moron!  He can’t even throw the ball away when he is out of the pocket, he is still looking down field and prancing around with the ball untucked even after he crosses the line of scrimmage!  And the best example of his abject idiocy is when he ran for a three yard gain (which could have been a 10 yard gain had he actually ran full speed after deciding to run) and didn’t go down when he confronted three Hawkeyes and lost 7 yards from where he should have been tackled!!!!!!!!

Idiot number two is our fat F___ of a moron coach.  How many TOTAL yards have we gained this year on that up the middle read option or on that slow ass developing hand-off sweep?  I bet that it is actually a negative number; yet they keep running it!  Gardner is an embarrassment intellectually as is this coaching staff.  He should not be wearing that 98 jersey.  As I think further, each team should need to earn “The Victors” as their fight song.  Every time it is played in the presence of this team it is dishonored.  They do not play with heart, intensity or intellect, and thus do not deserve that song. 

            Prior to today, I was actually dreading next week less, but now it approaches like an F5 tornado.  I will not be watching, as I will be visiting my niece at UNC Friday and Saturday and I will not be ruining my visit by watching what will surely be an embarrassment.  I have planned to record it but I WILL NOT.  If we happen to pull off the impossible, it will be replayed dozens of time between now and Jan 1, and I will watch in awe even knowing the outcome; but I would bet $1,000 that we will lose and I would add a $100 bonus that it will be an embarrassment.  These guys are truly hopeless and I see no rational reason to think that it will change until Hoke is gone.  At least Rich Rod wasn’t a fat slob!

Anger, frustration, disillusionment….I think its all in there….somewhere.  Most Slappy Fans general assessment of the season when it goes bad:  Get rid of the players and the coaching staff and start over - anything besides what we have has to be better than this….So, was that or was it not a great segue to the

5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief

PRE –GRIEF:  HOPE!  Suckeyes, you’re back here almost all alone in the one category where the chance of a National Title still exists if someone in front of you trips.  Assuming of course you beat the State of Michigan over the next two weeks.  I hope one of those teams ruins it for you…I’m just hoping it’s the one that wears the Maize and Blue… Mizzou Tigers, Auburn Tigers, Sparty and Okie State join you as the last fan bases that hold the hope that they will get a shot at a National Title…(I know Sparty has to be sitting out ther a little ANGRY, also...If they beat the suckeyes...well, it's the Rose and that's not a bad thing...) Oh, let’s not forget DUKE and the hope that they can represent the ACC...

  1.  Denial and Isolation  - Oregon, Oregon…Oregon.  What have you done?  You lost as a 20 point favorite to a Rich Rodriguez team that had lost 4 games up to this point.  One of your players came out earlier in the week and stated, “We don’t want to go to another Rose Bowl…”  Well, your wish is granted.  I can only begin to wonder if this is the beginning of some sort of end for Oregon.  Is this team destined to be the Oklahoma of the West?  Always ranked in the top 5 but never delivering at the end?
  2. ANGER  - Michigan fans are clearly here, but the one fan base that has to be at their wits end is Gatorland.  In case you haven’t heard, Gatorland had their own “App State” moment on Saturday.  They lost at home to Georgia Southern which isn’t even as “good” as losing to FCS Champions Appalachin State.  Gatorland lost to a team that DID NOT COMPLETE A FORWARD PASS in the entire game and in the process, lost its 6th straight game.  Yes, there’s a very angry fan-base out there calling for the heads of everyone on the Gator’s coaching staff.  And Muschamp may have survived not going to a bowl this year…but losing 6 in a row and topping it off with a loss to an FCS school may prove to be too much to overcome.  The situation in the Swamp is dire….You do not want to be a Gator right now…So Michigan has that going for them….Not to mention Mack Brown and Texas still have a game left that may or may not spell the end for him….
  3. Bargaining –I see a lot of fans still here…Cornhuskers, Badgers, Gophers, Clemson Tigers, Hokies, Cardinal, Bruins and others are here believing they are “a year or two away from the promised land…”  Put Tennessee down here as for the 2nd year in a row they lose to their instate “Rival” Vanderbilt.  That cannot possibly sit well with Volunteer Nation but has to feel completely AWESOME for the Commodores!
  4. Depression –Georgia Bull Dawgs…Murray tore his ACL and is done for the season…Has ANYONE had a more depressing season than the Bull Dawgs?  I’ll include Michigan Fan in that question simply because the hope of a National Title was very REAL in Atlanta…And this has to be the biggest nightmare scenario that Georgia Fan could have dreamed up…Maybe GATORLAND is down here, but they may just be too angry to be depressed.  I will throw some Michigan fans down here as the B-Ball team lost to Charlotte over the weekend as well. 
  5. AcceptanceAre there ANY fans that truly get to this level?  Depression, Anger and Bargaining seem to be the operating stages of grief for most fan bases….Maybe Northwestern is here.
The BCS Mess

Well, the upsets in November have begun and is it only a matter of time before the kiss of a #1 or #2 National Ranking death will knock on the door of one of the top 2 teams?  This week will answer a couple of those questions….

Last Week

If there was any question that the suckeyes were the 3rd place team, Okie State’s complete and utter dismantling of Baylor should have answered it at this point.  Auburn and Mizzou round out the SEC biased top 5 and will eventually work itself out…I hate that somehow, some way, the pollsters seem to “want” an SEC team in the title game.  I would be happy with an FSU – ANYONE ELSE game….

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

-All RIGHT!  Defense Pick 6! 
-I love it when that happens.
-Can the offense help out….
-No drives…But at least they’re scoring on short fields.
-That’s a big difference over the last couple of weeks.
-Why isn’t Hoke wearing a coat?
-Does he think he’s Woody Hayes?
-21-14:  Better than I would have thought.
-But they need to keep it going in the 2nd half…
-Does Michigan have a 1st down in the 2nd half?
-Okay – thanks mr. Announcer..that would be no.
-6 TOTAL YARDS in the 2nd half?
-What is wrong with this team?
-Does Hoke feel he needs to be loyal to the Rich Rod Seniors?
-Not that there’s much of a class there to begin with…
-Jeez….now they need to score.
-5:30 left.  Stop running and move the ball.
-Score, dammit…
-Oh no….And like that, it’s over…
-Not even a shot at the end zone.
-Somehow, this is incredibly anti-climatic.
-I wonder what the spread will be for Saturday?
-I’m guessing two TD’s…(I was close…13.5)
-Not that the FMQ is doing anything that great lately, either.
-Poor Florida…More importantly, poor Muschamp.
-Does he survive Sunday?
-What is happening to Oregon?
-Is Rich Rod’s Arizona Wildcat Team that good?
-Did he ever beat a Top 5 Team while coaching at Michigan?  (ANSWER – NO)
-I don’t think he did…
-Thanks for nothing, Rich.
-LSU and the Hatter taking it to Johnny Football…
-Is that a statement of some sort?
-Someone needs to tell LSU too little, too late.
-So, it’s looking a lot like Bama – FSU in the title game…

The Hot Seat

Nina Agdal held serve and made it into the finals for the Hot Seat Mascot of the Year.  I can’t believe there’s only two weeks left of nominees and we’ve had some great ones this season.    I have to thank a reader for this suggestion and the photos available on this Olympic Athlete (Javelin) were plentiful, and some were not suitable for a family oriented site!  Careful screening was required, but without further ado, Week #13 Hot Seat Mascot nominee:  Leryn Franco

I want to add here that this could be the most interesting Hot Seat Coaching Carousel off season that we’ve had since the Rich Rod Hiring.  The possible schools that could be searching for a new head coach at the end of this season:

West Virginia

When I look at those 5 schools, I see destination type jobs, with Florida, Texas and USC obviously leading the way.  Whatever happens, it will send shock waves throughout college football when those schools hire new coaches.

GONE LIST:  Is it possible that Muschamp is on this list before the end of the day/week/year?

  2. Paul Pasqualoni
  3. Treadwell
  4. Carlson – Valpraiso….(I know, not exactly on my radar, either.)
  5. Ron English – Eastern Michigan.  Sorry for missing this one last week and thanks to all for the update!
  6. Mussman – North Dakota:  I don’t always track the seat temperature of compass point school Head Coaches…sorry!
Hot Seat Rank – Getting Serious as this is the time when the Carousel gets fire up!

  1. Muschamp – This guy is saying more and doing more to get fired than any other coach out there….
  2. Holgorensen:  No Bowl doesn’t bode well for Dana…
  3. Mack Brown – New AD? New Coach?
  4. London – Virginia….Its not a good situation…
  5. Pelini – It’s not good in Corn land either…
  6. Weiss:  Can’t believe he’s still there…
  7. Biliema:  Arkansas Nation does not like a B1G re-treas – no SEC wins
  8. Norm Chow - Hawaii
  9. Paul Johnson – Needs to beat Georgia or things will get dicey…
  10. Ogeron – All the guy did was win, but an interim won’t have the USC job…Jack Del Rio interviewed last week…
FMQ Betting Results:

What an absolutely abysmal weekend for the FMQ.  I was a little rushed in my picks last Friday, but still, I liked (instinctively) what I did.  While this wasn’t an “O-fer” weekend, it’s as close as I’ve been ….Makes me glad in a small way that this is all for fun.  Now it all rides on rivalry week.  I will need to study up and make some good picks or this season is going to be a bad one…One interesting thing to note this past weekend:  Every game I took points I won.  Where ever I laid points…well, let’s just say we’ll be taking a lot of points Friday and Saturday over Thanksgiving.

Illini (-7) @ Purdue: Take the Illini and lay the 7 for $75

Boston College @ Maryland(PK):  Take Maryland for $60
Really – All I had to do was pick the winner?  LOSE….
Indiana (+35) @ suckeyes:  Take IU and the 35 for $75

WIN!  Bank $142.50
Wiscy (-16) @ Minnesota:  Take Wiscy and lay the 16 for $100

LOSE….Too cold I guess for the Wiscy Boys…

Oregon (-20) @ Arizona:  Take Oregon and lay the 20 for $100
LOSE…This has to be the biggest anomaly of all the games from Saturday..
Baylor @ Okie State (+10):  Take Okie State and the 10 for $50

WIN!  Bank $95
Texas A&M @ LSU(+5):  Take Texas AM and lay the 5 for $65

So the Hatter shows up?  LOSE….

Michigan (+6) @ Iowa:  Take Iowa and lay the 6 for $25
I can’t even get this right….LOSE

PARLAY!  (6 to 1)

Oregon-Wiscy-Illini for $50 - LOSE
Starting Bank:         $544.50
Total WIN:                $237.50

BANK:                       $782

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