Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Trouble With Tressels

Looks like I picked a hell of a month to take off from Blogging….Yes, I wanted to take a month off. I forced myself a couple of times to not log on and produce something that, while it would have been a worthwhile read, it would more than likely be a big waste of time for both you and me. I mean, a bigger waste of time than usual….

What haven’t I commented on and what you may have missed in the last month:
-Michigan Women’s Softball winning Big 10 for the 4th consecutive year
-Michigan Women getting knocked out of Super Regional CSWS (College Softball World Series) which is like being eliminated in the 1st round of the NCAA after getting a 10 seed…Major upset by Kentucky.
-Brandon Announcing Stadium expansion (far off future) to something like 119,000
-Michigan Ice Hockey reaching the Final “Frozen” 4

And it seems like there was something else that I might have missed…..


I was saving the title of this entry, The Trouble With Tressels, for the day when the Evil Empire to our south officially crumbled, withered away and eventually succumbed to the blowing NCAA winds that know no mercy when it comes to rule violators and more importantly, violators that lie about what they knew and when they knew it.

The Trouble With Tribbles – for anyone old enough to remember the old Star Trek Series – is an all time classic. Tribbles are these wonderful, little furry creatures that are like little balls that are fun to hold, love everyone (except Klingons) and eat and multiply at an alarming rate. One creature is brought on board the enterprise by Uhura and the next thing you know, Kirk and crew are up to their collective asses in the damn things. Bones explains to Kirk that the things are more or less born pregnant. Then, Spock gets the bright idea to transfer all the Tribbles to a Klingon ship….This is not unlike the situation that was predicted by your MMQ with respect to this mess avalanching on the Vest and the OSU in general and it has now unfolded gloriously before our eyes.

Only with Tressel, it wasn’t a warm furry little creature that was the demise of the OSU. It was one silly, little avoidable lie. One error in judgment. One walk to the Compliance office that said, “Hey, we’ve got a problem that needs to be addressed.” At least then, poor Tressel would have been covered, a little. (Actually, probably not) But now that he tried to keep a lid on it, the Tressel Tribble Lie “Zero”, (Think Patient “zero” when they analyze a virus) has led to more lies, cover-ups, cars sold for $0.00, cars being test driven for months at a time, pay-offs to certain athletes, NCAA DEEP investigations into one said athlete (Pryor, in case you DIDN'T know), and conspiracy references that go all the way up to the AD and maybe even the President of the University. The tinfoil hat crowd is starting to become a lot more believable and some of the blogs out there make a lot more sense when the realities of what has transpired in Columbus come to light. Which makes conspiracy theories read like factual documents, when well written.

Yes, I’m sure Smith and G. Gee are crapping in their collective pants right now with respect to what has no doubt leaked from the NCAA with regards to what they have been asking for evidence wise. And according to the Columbus Dispatch, the OSU is fighting the NCAA every bloody step of the way with regards to what information they are turning over. It seems that Tressel was such a great front man and appeared so squeaky clean and was so adept and keeping a lid on all the shenanigans that were going on in the football program that the NCAA simply can’t believe there weren’t a LOT more people aware of what the hell was going on. And the questions the NCAA has been asking are akin to, “So, Mr. Smith and G. Gee: When exactly did you stop beating your wife?”

So, those two models of leadership, men among men, idols of children everywhere (NOT!) do the noble thing and tell Tressel to quit or he’s fired. And Tressel falls on the ole’ Scarlet and Grey Sword of justice that the rest of the OSU is just hoping is enough to keep the stink off them. (Read the Link: Because Tressel is not "officially" employed by the OSU any longer, he has no obligation to testify before the NCAA...and therefore doesn't have to answer questions about who knew what and when...The perfect FALL GUY!)

But I’m afraid there’s simply too much out there at this point, and the Tressel Tribbles keep multiplying like the Tribbles on the Enterprise…. Unfortunately, the OSU doesn’t have a Klingon Ship nearby in order to transport all the Tressels off the ship.

I frankly don’t know how Smith can keep his job at this point. If he claims he knew nothing, which is the classic criminal defense, than he’s a boob and an imbecile that can’t manage and athletic department and he needs to be canned immediately. As soon as they find something or more than likely, someone, that says he knew and can offer proof, well, he’s gone anyway. G. Gee, on the other hand, might just be dumb enough and he made the goofball statement that might be just enough to save him when he proclaimed at the initial news conference, “I just hope he doesn’t fire me!” That statement alone might be what saves his dumb ass. But then again, maybe not.

There will be plenty of time to talk about the new coach as the dirt rolls out on him, but I also believe that the OSU will have to figure, “Wait a minute. If we want to completely kill this virus, don’t we have to scrub the program clean from top to bottom? I mean, if you leave only one Tressel Tribble in place, wouldn’t that mean that the Trouble with Tressels could start popping up somewhere else? It’s kind of like killing mold…One little spore and it can start all over again…

I guess what’s unfortunate in all of this is that no one from the collective Michigan Blog network (Or Mainstream Media - The SI Article would have been a great place to put it) has put the logical conclusion together that Rich Rod, despite his performance on the field, recruited Pryor the Right Way. The Michigan Way, if you will. And while you might have hated what you saw on the field (defensively at least) during the Rod’s tenure, you have to admit that he did the right thing by not succumbing to whatever demands Pryor was no doubt making and what I’m sure was inferred by his handler or whoever was talking for Pryor about what the OSU was offering should he attend there. So, I would like to take this opportunity and give a hat tip to The Rod for that. I might be the only one out there, but I think he deserves it.

Back to the Tressel Tribbles. I have heard, from un-confirmed sources inside of the NCAA of course, that future violations that involve lying will be from this point forward known as “Tressels” or “Tresseling”. The NCAA has decided that this will clear up any confusion about what really transpired if the word “lying” doesn’t sum it up for you. So, when used in context, it would go something like this:

“I Tresseled to my wife when I told her I wasn’t meeting the guys after work for a beer…”

“She was Tresseling to her friend about never sleeping with her best friend’s ex…”

“I had to tell a little white Tressel to my kids and keep the Santa thing going the other day...”

With a little more practical use, this should catch on pretty quickly. In fact, I’m sure you’re all going to be able to come up with a bunch of them on your own.

What is the most unbelievable thing is that Tressel Vest somehow viewed what he was doing with all his Bible thumping Christian beliefs as being "OK". For example (from SI),

Most of the young players who attended it would never play college football, but a few were top prospects whom Ohio State was recruiting. At the end of camp, attendees bought tickets to a raffle with prizes such as cleats and a jersey. According to his fellow assistant, Tressel rigged the raffle so that the elite prospects won -- a potential violation of NCAA rules. Says the former colleague, who asked not to be identified because he still has ties to the Ohio State community, "In the morning he would read the Bible with another coach. Then, in the afternoon, he would go out and cheat kids who had probably saved up money from mowing lawns to buy those raffle tickets. That's Jim Tressel."

And that's why Jim Tressel is going down and why he most likely will drag the OSU with him...Believing he is above the law and the rules.

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