Bizarre Love Thanksgiving Week Triangle

First Story

Talk about a week of extremely weird news stories. Under the category that nothing good ever happens after midnight, we get the report on Sunday out of the Evil Empire of South Bend that young protégé Clausen got his eyes dotted outside a bar near campus at around closing time where he was attending with family and his girlfriend. This raises so many questions, I really don’t know where to begin:

1. What was a potential future NFL star doing in a bar closing the joint, even if he was with family?
2. Actually, especially if he was with family? What were they thinking?
3. What’s the deal with the girlfriend getting insulted?
4. Why did she “conveniently” forget her purse?
5. Why send Jimmy back after it if he already had “words” with some fellow that insulted the GF?
6. Can any good ever come from that?
7. Who is the perp?
8. Why isn’t he bragging it up on line somewhere?
9. Unless he was some Domer Sot that likes getting whiskeyed up and taking sucker punches at opposing fans and his own players…
10. MMQ was a victim of one such attack in South Bend after the only game I attended down there. Rabbit punch to the back of the neck that swung wide.
11. I only knew anything happened when the family of the drunk pulled him up off the ground while he continued to hurl insults at me after Michigan beat Holtz in his debut…
12. But I digress.
13. So, when are we going to hear the rest of this story? Ever?

Second Story:

The Mangino Chronicles – How in the world can Kansas – KANSAS – a basketball school decided to can a guy that has been the only individual in the modern era to take the J’s to 10 wins and an Orange Bowl win. That, by itself, should have got the coach not only a job for life, but they should wheel out his casket after he kicks and let him coach from the great beyond.

So, suddenly, Kansas is a powerhouse that deserves better in the Big 12 and has decided that it can do better than the guy they have. To that I say:
1. Ever seen Kansas?
2. Ever been to Lawrence, Kansas?
3. Ever wondered why ANYONE would live in the middle of a field?
4. There’s a rise on campus they call the “Hill”…It’s about 15 feet of elevation.
5. IF you can get kids to come to Kansas to play football, you, my friend, are a genius.
The kind of genius the Domer’s need…

Third Story

Normally, the MMQ sticks with football, but we simply have to comment on this. With his Alma Mater and J. Harbaugh defeating the Domers and how it might mysteriously might tie everything together. Yes, Tiger Woods went to Stanford, in case you didn’t know. And unless you were on a deserted island without AYNTHING, you obviously now know about Tiger’s accident, WHERE ALCOHOL WASN’T INVOLVED. So, let’s say we buy that, which, from all accounts, Tiger doesn’t drink, so okay..

Doesn’t gamble as far as we know– maybe some greenies or skins on the course….So, unless he has a Windemere late night cash poker game with some rich, affluent, Widemerites (sp?), what, exactly was he running out to get at 2:30 A.M. on the Friday after Turkey Day?

Diapers?

Nope…Depending on what you believe, and with the belief that everyone has a weakness, Tiger might have been, dare we even type this, going on a booty call? Chris Rock says that no matter how hot the chick, there’s some guy doing her that’s tired of putting up with her shit…

Two kids and Tiger ain’t the main man anymore…Isn’t it conceivable that he’s getting a little something on the side? Oh, MMQ, how can you suggest that the wholesome image of Tiger is going to be tarnished with such an act? Well, he was going somewhere with a purpose. Why else would he be out of control in his own driveway?

So, what’s it all mean? IT’S ALL CONNECTED!

HERE IT IS! You read it here first on this reputable site!

Mangino, a closet Notre Dame fan and wannabe head coach for the Domers, decides to visit South Bend after last week’s game and sees Jimmy and his GF in the bar and decides to try some Mangino love on her…Figures if she likes Clausen and has met and likes Charlie, well, there’s even more of him to love. MM makes the “Walrus Move” and Jimmy gets pissed. Mangino pops him one, figuring that with Jimmy gone, he’s got a even better shot at the Domer Top Spot when the Wuzzles loses to Stanford.….Jimmy’s girlfriend is upset, breaks up with Jimmy and sextexts Tiger Woods, looking to see what’s up. Tiger, upon reading that he could doink or do the backseat two step with the former GF of the QB on the OPPOSING TEAM in his Alma Mater’s final game, says, “Shit, man, I’ve GOT TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM!”

YES LADIES AND GENTS! Leave it to your own MMQ to pull it all together and have it make complete sense!

Don’t think that’s the story…Well, maybe not…But whatever comes out can’t get any more bizarre than it already is, can it?

THE REST OF THE MESS
The New Theme of the Rest of the Mess:

“Schadenfreude” - A German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

DOMERS vs. Jimmy Harbaugh: Hee, Hee…..HEEHAHAHAHA! Okay, so the Weis Regime has to be over. Rumor is he’s clearing out the desk. In fact, I am waiting to post to see if we hear anything official from $warbuck$ before the morning is done. Who do we like? Short list: Stoops – Ain’t gonna happen. Kelly – Bet this hard. Peterson – TCU – Uh-uh. Doesn’t know the upper mid west and wants a Big 12 Job. Herbstreit said it best on Game Day: Why do we continue to waste so much time on an irrelevant program like Notre Dame? They haven’t mattered since 1993…Those are fighting words…
Texas vs. Texas AM: Texas prevails, but Texas AM is going to be a good team when they get a defense. Easily one of the best games of the weekend – in case you slept through it.
Pitt vs. WVU: The Backyard Brawl. Why does it seem that whichever team in this battle is having the best season is destined to lose this game? I mean, it’s friggin’ Karma.
$atan’s Warriors vs. Auburn: The Iron Bowl. This was SO CLOSE to setting the dominoes and tumblers into motion that would have pitted TCU vs. Boise State in the National Title Game….Nuts…
Cornsuckers vs. Colorado: Cornsuckers are “almost” back. Can they beat Texas in the Big 12 Championship and throw the monkey wrench in that we all desperately want?
Clemson vs. South Carolina: Ole Ball Coach can still coach against the ACC.
Okie State vs. Laters: Wow…I didn’t see this one coming. I figured Okie State big in this one…How wrong I was.
GATORLAND vs. Bobby: Sigh. So much for the Bowden Era. I am sure we will see news today.
Virginia vs. Va Tech: Groh’s final game as Cavalier’s head coach, at least that’s my guess…
LMU vs. Arkansas: Somehow, I would have liked to see LMU lose this one. Talk about your big bowl battle, though. This sent Arkansas to a non-New Year’s day bowl and clinched NYD for LMU….
UCLA vs. Southern Cal: Yadda, yadda, yadda...


Idle Thoughts From the Weekend

1. Have you heard the Stafford NFL films replay of the separated Shoulder?
2. Yikes! I mean, you can TELL he was in pain…
3. I knew the Domers would show up- winning, however, seems to elude this team...
4. When did defense become so hard to coach and recruit?
5. High School Highlights: Inkster gets beat by Lowell…
6. Why do we care? Devon Gardner, the hot recruit, was in the game QB’ing Inkster.
7. And I thought he got outplayed by his Lowell counterpart.
8. Where’s THAT kid going?
9. Will FSU ever be FSU again?
10. Officiating in the SEC has to be addressed.
11. HAS TO.
12. Okay, we know Tiger Woods was in an Accident.
13. Can someone tell us why?
14. I don’t like LSU’s new uniforms…
15. And what’s with Florida? Those were throwbacks, right?
16. I am glad the Big 10 will be playing this weekend next year.
17. So when do they add the championship?
18. Jimmy Harbaugh will not get outcoached….I am convinced of that much.
19. Take the interference call, but DO NOT LET THEM CATCH THE BALL!
20. Stanford could be a good team next year…Really Good.
21. So what is with the PAC 10? When do they add the 11 and 12th team?
22. I said it once and I’ll say it one last time – I will miss Charlie.

The Hot Seat

You know, I have to commend all of you and your readership of this drivel. Erin Andrews did look as cute as a button on Saturday night, but she’s always wearing too many clothes. How about getting Erin an assignment in on of the warmer bowl spots so we can see what she might wear given a climate that agrees with her….So, here's your weekly dose of Erin....



HOT SEAT RANK

Coaching Carousel begins….

1. Wuzzles –GONE! (We’re jumping ahead of the mainstream media a little here) 2009 SEASON FIRST MAJOR CASUALTY!
2. Bobby Bowden – Ditto – But we can’t call him dead yet…
3. Stoops – I just don’t see this one happening….Stoops has been too good for the Laters…So, no Domers, either.
4. Al Groh - GONE! 2009 SECOND MAJOR CASUALTY! It’s official.
5. Mangino….Damn, All the fat jokes I could have been using with both this guy and Charlie….

GETTING COOLER – or Icy Cold – Or – The List that ND Swarbrick is going to call to be told, “No Thanks.”

1. Harbaugh
2. Petersen
3. Brian Kelly - Actually, he might say yes.....
4. Meyer
5. Saban


THIS WEEK
CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK:

SEC: GATROLAND AND $ATAN’$ WARRIORS
ACC: THE WRAMBLIN’ WRECK VS. CLEMSON
BIG 12: SHORT HORNS VS. THE CORNSUCKERS….

UPSET ALERT:

Last Week (2-2)
Cardinal over Domers – Yeah Baby!
Arkansas over LMU – Oops…But the Razors were THIS CLOSE….
Okie State vs. Laters – OOPS…This is why you Keep Bob Stoops.
Take A&M and the 22 points over Texas in the rivalry game…Yeah Baby!

This Week:

Okay, Take Gatorland….
The Wramblin Wreck is less of a mess than Clemson, even if the Tigers are looking for revenge…
Dare I go here? Is Texas beatable? Could this be the signature for Pelini? AS much as I want to, I just can’t do it….Texas and lay the points…

Mangino - Should have been on the Hot Seat List

Your MMQ somehow ignored all of this Mangino nonsense as just that...I couldn't believe that Kansas - a basketball school that got lucky one season in football, would actually fire the winningest coach they've ever had, therefore, I ignored the noise...

I need to learn, where there's smoke, there's a fatted pig on spit somewhere and his seat is getting hot!

The only other names the article refers to our ones we have on the radar...but if Kansas really cans Mangino, well, Kansas may find out exactly how hard it is to find a "great coach" that will be able to get them back to where they are.

Sparty Insanity.....

Football team is now beating up dorm kids...

And yet the mainstream press in Detroit reports...nothing...until today after Dantonio dismisses two thugs from the team....

Charlie's Fat in the Fire

Well, I guess it's somewhat official. Charlie has to delay (cancel?) his west coast recruiting trip and meet with $warbuck$ on Tuesday after the Stanford game.

ESPN.com has the news....

So, why is this telling? Coaches are allowed to visit recruits at home only ONCE while they are recruiting. This gives the new coach a chance to visit any recruits Charlie was planning on visiting out there an opportunity to make that trip if the new coach so chooses...

Now, I guess, it's just a matter of waiting till Tuesday for what is probably the worst kept secret in all of Head Coaching at the collegiate level.

Problem is, there have been so little "rumors" on all of this with respect to who the new guy is. I would think that the Domers would have learned from the Michigan Fiasco that it's better to have some feelers out there before you can your guy...But then, maybe the Domers are simply to above it all to believe that they need feelers.

BOHICA- Next Year’s Rallying Cry

Bend
Over:
Here
It
Comes
Again…

I first heard this at a customer some years ago when they were asking for yet more cost reductions and the buyer tried to put a humorous spin on it. I was reminded of it on Saturday as I sat sipping a tall, cold glass of golden depression cure at a local pub as I watched the 2nd half unfold. What in the hell is going on? I am still almost too dazed and confused to even begin to wrap my mind around it…

That’s what being a “Those Who Cannot” fan feels like at this point. What the hell was Forcier thinking???? 5 turnovers? Did he have OSU giving the points?

Bo Schembechler (and others) have said that a Quarterback can’t necessarily win the game for you…But they can certainly lose it for you. With all the rumors swirling around Pre-Game with respect to Tate not being there, the “Tebow-like” speech after the game, it makes you wonder if this kid is the “million dollar” arm and ten cent head mentality of Ryan Mallet…It also makes you wonder if his days as a “Those Who Cannot” player are numbered. And if they are, what then?

But I digress. I know all of you want to hear my take on this classic game. And here it is: HANG ON TO THE GOD DAMN BALL AND YOU WILL WIN A LOT MORE GAMES!

Oh, how ill I was after this game. It was winnable. We were moving the ball. OSU couldn’t do the things they wanted to do. If we score on the first 4th quarter drive, it’s a completely different game. If we don't spot them 7 to start the game…I am seeing Notre Dame all over again…Was that only this year that we were so absolutely giddy with a victory over one of our most hated rivals? It seems like a lifetime ago.

I was ill, knowing that I am looking at a weaker defense next year with the loss of key players from the senior class. I also know that the offense will be weaker, based on the latest performance. And until we can figure out that possessing the ball is better than giving it away, well….BOHICA seems like a new rallying cry for this team next year vs. All In for “Those Who Cannot”.

I will try a final analysis, but in the end, what’s the point? We simply aren’t that good of a team right now and I am not sure we get all that much better next year.

The Ledge – or the Race to 6-6…Sparty Wins!

THOSE WHO CANNOT Reasons to put ONE FOOT ON THE LEDGE AND THE OTHER STEPPING OUT INTO THE ABYSS AS WE BEGIN TO TEETER AND BEGIN THE PLUNGE:

Let your body fall into the blackness and become enveloped in the cold darkness until there isn’t any more noise or Pain and you can wake up with a renewed vision next year…Of course, there’s always basketball…

THE REST OF THE MESS
The New Theme of the Rest of the Mess:

“Schadenfreude” - A German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

Tex Tech vs. Laters: I had a feeling…Is Stoops seat getting a little toasty? A team that was a pre-season top 5 is now looking at not making a bowl…The MMQ predicted that The Laters weren’t going to be that good, but jeez, 6-5? And guess what? Stoops has never been .500 at Oklahoma…Yep – I’d say it’s getting a little toasty.
Uconn at DOMERS: (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!) Schadenfreude…..But, misery loves company. Well, I guess it’s all but a foregone conclusion that C. Wuzzles will not be coaching the Domers next year. After all, Charlie claims he would understand if the Domers canned him…Of course, he also understands that he’ll be walking away with $15-$18M of Leprechaun GOLD also, but hey, he earned it, right? And if he isn't canned, do the Domers finally retaliate by not going to home games? Refusing to buy tickets? No longer supporting the program? I doubt it. So, in some weird universe where Charlie does keep his job, it would be wonderful to see and have him around to poke fun at again next year. For if the Domers get BK from Cincin…Well, let’s just say I’m nervous. Oh, and that rumor about Urban Legend going to South Bend? Fuhgettaboutit….He’d be a fool to try to take that over and resurrect it. Or would he?
PSU vs. SPARTY: Schadenfreude…Sparty, Sparty, Sparty…I never know which team is going to show up. I hate to say SOS, but man, I have seen better out of you all year and you don’t show up on your last day at home. If Michigan’s a mess, Sparty is a Riddle wrapped up in an Enigma…
LMU vs. Ole Miss: Anyone catch the end of this game? I couldn’t have timed it better and let me tell you, if they aren’t screaming for Mr. Miles Head on the Blogosphere, they will be. In case you DIDN’T see it: LMU needs a Figgie with 28 seconds left…They WASTE 16 seconds before calling a time out. They MAKE THE PLAY putting them in FG range with 2 seconds left and then they try to stop the clock by spiking the ball instead of getting their field goal unit out there to kick. They were at the 5 yard line! I would have had the FG team ready and waiting…What a mess. That could be your next head coach, ladies and LMU isn’t going to a BCS game…Last year, Ole Les was 7-5. Hmmmm….What a difference a couple of seasons make. My guess is LMU is reviewing that contract for total wins and seeing if they can get out of it without paying off Lester if they decide to can him…
Cal vs. Stanford: Jimmy couldn’t pull off the miracle and win the PAC 10 outright this year…That would have been something. Still, it’s not bad to beat two of the better teams in the league in your third year…That’s better than his alma mater has done.
Ducks vs. Arizona: Another OT finish in a clutch game for a BCS berth…The Ducks prevail and it all comes down to a Play-off in the PAC 10 of Oregon vs. Oregon State…Beavers vs. the Ducks…Hee-hee…Where’s Pete Carrol? At McDonald’s….

Idle Thoughts From Saturday

1. Well, you know, at least it’s only one more time..
2. WE SUCK!
3. Are their medications for what I’m feeling? Hopelessness? Despair?
4. Give me a case of whatever.
5. Domers have to be feeling the same way…
6. USC, Laters, K-State, and others feeling blue, too…
7. What is the BCS going to look like?
8. Methinks Boys State is about to get “BOHICA’d”…Hard, without lube.
9. TCU is the newest love child of the BCS.
10. Can’t have two newbies to the big money games.
11. Big schools will push and use their leverage.
12. Interesting that two of the winningest programs are in the provervial basements.
13. Can anyone think of lower points in the Michigan and Domer Programs? Ever?
14. OSU isn’t that good.
15. And they're the pride of the Big 10.
16. Okay. I accept that the Big 10 might not be that good.
17. But when you’re not good, there’s only one way you can go.
18. Harbaugh: “If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.”
19. I think one of his coaches in college taught him that…
20. Did I really feel that good about this team on September 12th? Really?
21. 7-5 Next Year or good bye Rich…It’s that simple.
22. There are too many other guys we can talk to.

The Hot Seat

That’s a Wrap!

I can’t seem to find ANYONE that you guys would rather see than Erin Andrews. For the last 4 weeks, she has walked away with the voting only to see one close vote when Jessica Alba came into the fold, as it were. This week, it wasn’t even close with Erin getting nearly quadruple the votes of her nearest competitor. Uh fellas (and gals), there are other females that exist besides Erin. But I can’t argue with your logic. So, without further ado, let’s just give it to Erin and I will continue to find and place, shall we say, different pictures of her in the column for all of our enjoyment…From loyal reader Chris – Thanks!

HOT SEAT RANK

This is when it gets interesting. Rivalry Week. Thanksgiving Holidays. Coaches getting the Ax...One fatted one immediately comest to mind, but still...What if they don't can him? It might be that much more fun watching the Domers next year? Don't you think?

1. Wuzzles – Oh Charlie…The MMQ to Charlie Memorial is in the works.
2. Bobby Bowden – Bobby, do yourself a favor and let go…
3. Stoops – Got to be feeling a little tension.
4. Al Groh - still there…
5. Rich Rod – He’s not getting canned, but the Flame is on ULTRA BOIL.
6. The Ole Ball Coach
7. Richy Rich - Had to move him down…UGA, the Bull Dog, died from a Heart Attack. So, there is some sympathy for Mark Richt this week…

GETTING COOLER – or Icy Cold – Or – The List that ND $warbruck$ is going to call to be told, “No Thanks.”

1. Harbaugh - Beating Arch rival USC twice in Three seasons? Yeah, Jimmy gets it...
2. Petersen - Not likely...
3. Brian Kelly - Hello Domers, well Hello Domers! I promise you that you will be proud of this team in LA on November 27th, 2010!
4. Meyer - Loyal assistant returns to raise the bar?
5. Saban - Wouldn' that be something...


THIS WEEK
THURSDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!
Uh, it’s Turkey Day, Remember?

But Wait, there’s a college GAME on: Texas vs. Texas AM…The classic without the Aggie bonfire on Turkey Day. So, turn off the Lions and turn this on.

Black Friday – Or, “Honey, I can’t go shopping, there’s a game on!”

Pitt vs. WVU: The Backyard Brawl. Pitt is looking to reinforce their bowl position.
$atan’s Warriors vs. Auburn: The Iron Bowl….Hmmmm…Is $atan’s team beatable?
Cornsuckers vs. Colorado: Lookout Cornsuckers…Colorado is playing for pride and you’re in as the North Rep…Could be a letdown game for the Cornsuckers.

Every Day Should Be Saturday

Clemson vs. South Carolina: Ole Ball Coach needs a win…
Okie State vs. Laters: Can Okie State resist making their arch rival 6-6???
GATORLAND vs. Bobby: Damn…I wish Bobby could go out with a bang. Wouldn’t that be something?
Virginia vs. Va Tech: Va Tech needs a win to improve their bowl slot…Will they get it from a less than inspired Groh team?
Cremesicles vs. Kentucky: This game matters to these two.
LMU vs. Arkansas: Always a good game. Les will be in hotter water if he loses this one.
DOMERS vs. Jimmy Harbaugh: Think $warbuck’s will interview Jimmy for the job while he’s there or wait until Stanford plays it’s bowl game?
UCLA vs. Southern Cal: This game used to mean something. Maybe Pete Carrol will be available for Michigan or the Domers. Pete has Midwest roots, don’t forget.

UPSET ALERT:

I’ll predict the following victories and point spread picks:
Cardinal over Domers
Arkansas over LMU
Okie State vs. Laters
Take A&M and the 22 points over Texas in the rivalry game….

85 Believers......

It might not feel much like Michigan vs. OSU week to any of you reading this right now. In fact, it doesn’t feel much like Michigan vs. OSU to the MMQ right now. There’s no tension, anticipation, elation, memory reliving (well, maybe just a little of that) and most of all, the belief level of the fans is way too low.

I remember hearing our Sparty brethren in years past when the didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hades to beat Michigan get on the radio after drinking a pint or two of their favorite libation and state aloud that they believed their team could beat Michigan. You have to hand it to Sparty – even when things are completely lost, they have some spirit.

Where’s the Michigan Spirit?

All I’ve heard this week from Michigan fans is that it will finally be over, it’s just like last year and we aren’t that great of a team. On the Contrary: This team, kiddies, can score points. That part has never, ever been an issue. Granted, most of them come in the first half and the opposing defenses make adjustments and take certain plays away from us, but none the less: Michigan is pretty highly ranked in the Big 10 when it comes to scoring points. Blocked punts? No problem. Catching punts…Well...

It’s that other category – points scored against us? That one is a problem…But I will say this. USC found a way. Purdue – who Michigan played and hung tough with, found a way…

And there are 85 believers not counting coaches who are busting their collective asses this week, doing everything they can to find a way to win this game.

12 point underdogs?

AT HOME? IN A RIVALRY GAME?????

Surely, you jest…No, I am not Jesting! And Don’t Call Me Shirley...

If I had not been a witness to what transpired over the last two years and you brought me into the future from 2007, I would say that you take it all and bet the farm on Michigan to cover at home. And they just might pull off the miracle upset!

Have I lost it?

1993: Michigan, sitting at 6-4, was about as bad as we had been since 1984. OSU came in ranked NUMBER 1 in the country and what did an underachieving group of Wolverines led by Todd Collins, Tryone Wheatley, Derrick Alexander, Jason Irons, Steve Morrison, and Buster Stanley do? Hung 28 points on the Suckeyes and defeated Cooper yet again and the mighty Suckeyes never even scored!

What about 1995: Tshimanga Biakabatuka rushes for 312 yards and the Wolverines defeated a heavily favored OSU team in the Big House.

And what about that OSU 1969 team that came into the Big House as a double digit favorite that was the undisputed National Champion 2 years running and they were upset by an upstart coach and a certain team of underachievers that had been destroyed by that same SUCKEYE squad the previous year by a score of 50-14?

What I am saying is: YOU NEED TO CONCEIVE IT AND BELIEVE!

“What the Mind can Conceive (and Believe), The Mind Can Achieve…And Those Who Stay Will Be CHAMPIONS!”

There are 85 Believers in Ann Arbor going through Thursday pre-game – practice activities this afternoon. There will be blood, sweat and tears from emotions running high.

Where do you stand?
What do you believe?
Can you see it in your mind’s eye?
Forcier playing with precision?
Graham getting to Pryor?
Brown blitzing like a mad man?
Somebody making a huge play on defense?
Huge plays on offense?
Do you see it?
Do you believe?

Rich Rod or the “Case of the Misplaced Head Coach”

Before I started this entry, I wanted to figure out how things got so lost…How they got so out of control. But at the end, what does it really matter? We’re here, and we need to get out of here. So, how do we fix the problem? And if you’re reading this, I’ll warn you right now: You might not like what I conclude….

We hated Lloyd Carr and his conservative ways. We reviewed and hashed out missed plays or opportunities in losses over seasons from years gone by. We figure if WE had been coaching, we could have WON THAT GAME (HE lost)!

Well, we now know that it’s a little tougher. That Michigan doesn’t “recruit itself” and that you need to know a thing or two about X’s and O’s to win at this level. I can’t help but think that DeBord and English are selfishly smiling quietly to themselves at this point, gleefully watching as the Michigan Team crumbles into mediocrity. Silently thumbing their noses at the press and fans, thinking, “SEE! Told you so! We weren’t that bad.”

And you know what? They’re right. Those guys supported and coached their hearts out and maintained the Wolverine Football program in steady fashion. It might not have always been pretty, but it worked the majority of the time. But when it didn’t, it failed miserably.

Which means those two, or three, if you want to count Carr, were also wrong. Just because a system was working well, doesn’t mean that there isn’t a different way to do things. And sometimes different is better. But if you’re going to do it different, if you’re going to “take the plunge”, make sure you’re taking it with the right guy, the right personality to get you where you need to go. And I mean he has to be Teflon. He needs to deflect all the bullshit that’s going to come his way during the process.

I don’t know at this point if the Rod is the right guy for Michigan. But his current team of “Those Who Cannot” isn’t looking like it has a direction, a purpose, or any kind of mission to turn anything around any time soon. However, Rod is saying the right things. He’s fighting the good fight. But as Sean Connery said to Nicolas Cage in the movie, “The Rock”,

John Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this?
Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"!?!? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
Stanley Goodspeed: [cocks his gun] Yeah.

So, just because the Rod is doing his best, I am not ready to hand over another two years without seeing something – ANYTHING – that would convince me that this team can do what it needs to do to take the reins of the Big 10 back over from, seemingly, everyone else. And, unfortunately, a bunch of close losses doesn’t convince me.

Fucking the Prom Queen would do it – In other words – Beat OSU.

But I can’t just can the guy. Not yet. For several reasons:

1. For those that want the Rod’s head RIGHT NOW, I have this to say: Who are you going to go get? Les Miles is gone. There is no Les Miles. Les Miles has history with Michigan that is good and bad and may be linked, in some weird twisted way, depending on what you read a believe, to a drunken night with Garry Moeller at the Excalibur…That bridge burned, fell and will be impossible to rebuild. It would be easier to make a clone of Les Miles and call him More Miles than it would be to get Les Miles to come to Michigan and for Michigan to accept him at this point in time.
2. Jim Harbaugh. Forget that pipe dream, too. Jim’s got attitude and that plays well when he’s your guy, but there have been too many off field (DUI-2005) and on field (Going for 2 up 48-21 against USC) incidents to let that go unnoticed. And he would really tick some people off if he were in Ann Arbor. But in Jim’s defense, when PC’s USC machines were trying to get BCS style points by destroying the lesser ability of the PAC 10, Stanford included, I am sure he didn’t build up a whole lot of sympathy. So, do unto others Pete....
3. After that, you’re back to a search. An ugly, unproductive search where we lose another two years getting rid of the recruits that were brought in to play in a system under one guy. The new guy will claim that the recruits the Rod brought in were too small, ill-equipped for HIS system, etc, etc, etc.
4. If you can even get any decent talent to TALK to you. Look at this from a candidate’s perspective: He sees a highly regarded coach get run after two years on the job. Now, he says to the new AD, “Look: I think it’s going to take at least 3 to 4 years for me to get my system in place. What guarantees do I have you’re not going to run me in two years?”
5. Wouldn’t it make you ill if RR left Michigan, went to some other big school and in two years built a wining program capable of competing on the National Scene? Wouldn’t it? Of course, I can play what if’s all day long and that’s not the point of this entry…
6. Here’s another reason:
The 2010 Season Schedule:
TEAM MMQ’s Prediction
Connecticut W
At DOMERS W – Clausen’s and offense is gone..CW, too
Massachusetts W
Bowling Green W
AT INDIANA W
Sparty Iffy - W
Iowa (Home Coming) Iffy
AT PENN STATE L
Illinois W
AT PURDUE Iffy
Wisconsin L
AT OSU L
Bowl ??????
Rich Rod was given the benefit of coming in on an even year, meaning, Lloyd probably knew the transition coach would have a bad season and he was therefore stuck with OSU, PSU and The Domers on the road – which is ideal for starting out. Guess what? Next year, any new guy would get the same big three: OSU, PSU and Domers on the road…Think anyone wants to come into THAT season as a first year coach with a questionable squad? I mean, hell, even PURDUE has won two straight on us and we have them late in the season away…Yeah, I know. Rich Rod might not do any better given these circumstances. But he’s made the bed. Let’s see if he can get busy in it…To coin a phrase.
7. And remember where I said no one is going to like me after this blog? Now, bear with me on this next part: If we give the Rod another year – next year, you’re going to have to automatically give him the 4th year as well. Before everyone starts ripping my head off, hear me out: If you can the guy after a hopefully mediocre (7-5) 3rd year that gets you to a bowl game, what then? Now, you look even worse than you did when you canned him after year two, right? He improved the program every year he was there, right? And you canned him? Of course, he will STILL NOT HAVE BEATEN OSU OR PSU in 3 tries.
8. Of course, if he doesn’t make a bowl, well, good riddance and Michigan is in deeper stink that I even want to think about at this point in time…
9. Which leads me to the counter point of why Michigan may need to can the man:

Maybe, just maybe, Rich Rodriguez ISN’T the right coach for this job. And I believe at the end of 4 years, you’re going to be able to make a much better decision on that than anyone can make right now. Unfortunately, with today’s guaranteed contracts and buy out clauses, both the university and the coach are literally, “All In”, to use a poker term and this year’s rallying cry for the Wolverines. It makes sense now, doesn’t it? Michigan pushed OUR money in the pot pre-flop and Rich is our hand. We’ve seen our hole cards and they were something like A-K suited – Great hand with HUGE potential, at least it seemed that way (Year 1). We’ve now seen the flop (Year 2) which didn’t hit us at all and was something like “5-7-no bowl” and now we need to catch up on the turn (a bowl game) and the river (BCS BOWL) in order to beat the other guy’s pair of deuces. It’s not impossible, but the odds are stacked against The Rod at this point. Michigan pushed and they have to finish the hand…

Another parallel, unfortunately, is the DOMERS (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!) and what they did initially with Bob Davie, how abruptly they acted with Tyrone Willingham, and how patient they were – or have been, rightly or not – with Wide End. The Domers now know that any move in the future needs to be carefully calculated, thought out, and can’t just be handed over to the “best candidate” available at that time. It’s not like hiring for other positions in a university.

What do I mean but not giving it to the “Best Name Available”? Football, like a lot of sports, is tradition rich and it helps to have people and players that are schooled in that tradition. And they in turn hand that tradition down to the generations that come after them, educating them on the rivalries and the emotions with playing for a university and a program like Michigan. That’s why I was VERY NERVOUS to bring in a Non-Michigan Man to run this program. I could have cared less if he started playing the spread on offense, a 3-4, 4-3, 5-2 or 1-2-3-4 and do-si-do out the door on defense….What I wanted was the importance of why you put that number on every game day and what it means for you to wear it…How you carry the traditions of every player to wear the number 1 – Carter, Edwards, McMurtry and others…Or how number 2 has become symbolic with excellence and toughness on defense – Woodson, and Walter Smith…That responsibility when taught from the coaches and handed down by the players starts to mean something in the 4 or 5 years you’re with the program. And it becomes a very powerful motivational tool. Ask Bo Schembechler (who’s rolling over multiple times at this point) what the power of knowing everyone’s name of the person that wore the Jersey number before you. You have to carry on that tradition. You are responsible. And therefore, motivated.

That was my biggest fear. Because when a bad season comes along, and they will, you at least have the tradition to fall back on – the heritage of those who went before you and when you pull that winged helmet on, you understand that you are among the “Leaders and the Best”. And maybe the Rod hasn’t gotten that part yet. He was blind to it and just didn’t get it. He claims he knows and he understands, but really, does he?

So, back to the moral of the story: If Rich isn’t the guy, and I am not saying he is or he isn’t at this point, but if he isn’t, then who is?

That may be a question that remains for the next AD to decide, or maybe the Rod finds religion and gets the players he needs to turn the Titanic around…

And I do mean Titanic. This program is on a course for somewhere – destiny TBD and Rich Rod is the captain of that ship. Anyone who comes in now is going to have a lot of work to do. If Rod can somehow make it all work, so be it. If not, Michigan is in desperate times indeed.

I am not saying that a BCS bowl game is 10 years in the offing, but unless something changes, it’s going to start feeling like it.