First, there was a football game Saturday
evening that involved a team that wears Maize and Blue that plays NOTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE FOOTBALL
to the fans that know and love Michigan Football. And today’s first bit here is probably just
going to be a bunch of random thoughts without a lot of cohesion behind them…
Until I got over the stupid call late
in the 4th quarter by the referees (but I’m not going to bitch about
that - we suck and got what we deserved) I started thinking about what I would
write on Monday, and that depressed me.
So I started to think about other things…Happy things. Things that don’t make my stomach hurt and
make me want to throw up. I actually
thought, seriously, what could have been if Rich Rod would have had the good sense
to keep Ron English. Would things now be
different?
Can I take the opportunity to write a little
revisionist history? The Rod and his
offense just knocked off the Ducks, in Autzen.
And I was thinking, “Wow, if we hadn’t already had this guy once, we’d
hire him!” But, I wasn’t sold on everything Rich Rod was
doing on offense, either. But I think we
all made the statement at one point in time or another that with Rich Rod’s
Offense and a Classic Michigan Defense…Yeah, the Wolverines would have been
pretty good.
Kovacs….I miss Kovacs. How can a secondary that had been pretty good
at holding teams to low passing totals give up over 400 passing yards to a team
that couldn’t make a first down in the 2nd half when they played
Penn State?
I started thinking about certain coaches
out there and how lousy they are on one side of the ball or the other. Rich Rod’s problem was crystal clear: He didn’t have a clue about defense and didn’t
even know who the right people were to bring in to coach it. I’m not even sure Rich Rod could spell
Defense…
To be sure, I can name several coaches
sitting without jobs today (that are collecting a paycheck, regardless) and I thought, “Hey, Rich Rod is having some success
as a re-tread. Other coaches get canned
(Tubberville – Defense, Nutt – Super Recruiter, there’s at least one Bowden
sitting behind a camera somewhere – Offense, Weis….Okay, I’m not going THAT
Far) that end up coaching somewhere
else. Why not get a COUPLE of those guys
and have one be the “head coach” of the defense and the other be the “head
coach” of the offense? I mean, is that
a great idea or what?
Feeling like it’s a great idea, from a
purely selfish and personal standpoint, there will of course need to be some
changes in Ann Arbor. Because the
current BranDictator won’t allow that to happen…Two head coaches I mean. But maybe a super coach…you know…with head
coaching subordinates.
I also wonder why the President hasn’t
made any more statements. You know, as
TJH referred to him – was it Schitzel? – and that’s a moniker
that can stay until he shows me something a wee bit more than a strongly worded
letter.
Religion…That’s what Brandon got after
that letter and maybe a phone call from the Prez. I’m pretty sure that’s why you saw
BranDictator on a 3 hour apology cruise last Thursday to all the news and media
outlets in Ann Arbor and Detroit that would listen. And stick a camera or microphone in his face….
Endearing no one (at least not this
fan) with his comments or his strained attempt at getting us to believe that he
was “hurt” by the student rally was just sickening. And for a CEO that doesn’t know how to fake
sincerity…well, that’s just bad…And if you’ve been paying attention
to the little clues at the beginning of the paragraphs…you can pretty much conclude
how the Ole’ MMQ is feeling today by adding this last comment….Or word actually….
…EVERYBODY…
This Season’s New
Rallying Cry: FIFE!!!
I mean...This cannot possibly end well...So Why not? 
The Rest of the Mess
Black
Saturday – 2014 Style
The Grove
looked PACKED!!! If you DIDN’T SEE Katy
Perry on Game Day, I’ve got it here for you on Youtube. If she isn’t a primer for how to do the guest
picker slot…I don’t know what is. Everyone
needs to have that much fun doing that spot!!!
And you know what? Katy was 100%
(or close!) on her picks!!! Damn! I need to get her for the FMQ!!!!
BAMA GOES
DOWN!!!! What else do you need to know,really? Katy having fun in a bar…HerManager is an Ole Miss grad….
Sparty held
on at the end…but boy, did they make it exciting…no one was there, however, as a
bunch of students didn’t show up and other ones left early. Hollis is now trying to get into the “More
camera time for me, dammit!” act by issuing harshly worded tweets about how to
get the right students into the stadium. Hey, uh, Mr. Hollis? If you can’t get them in there with a winning
team…shit, man…Let it go…Let it go. It
was a pouring sleet storm in 30 degree weather at night. That isn’t lack of support. That was, “Hey, were up 27-3 and my twig and berries
have turtled, man. Let’s go find a warm
bar and some warmer honeys…” Just sayin’. Even I have been known to call “over 21 points in
the 4th quarter is Tailgate time.”
Texas A&M
has been exposed as a fraud and I certainly put way too much value on South
Carolina’s ranking…which, duh….Again – No rankings until last weekend of
October. That’s plenty soon enough. The whole Auburn – Miss State – Ole Miss
thing will sort itself out. Don’t worry…
The suckeyes
handled newcomer Maryland on the road….Huh…That must be their coach because a
frosh QB shouldn’t be doing all these wonderful things on the field…not it a 5th
year senior in Ann Arbor can’t do it…right?
Did I mention
the Ducks going down on Thursday? Yeah,
yeah…Rich Rod…Miss him yet? And he’s also
the only undefeated coach in the PAC16….because the UTES beat up UCLA and left
them with one loss trying to figure out where to now…
Sooners find
another way to screw up…Have the sooners ever made it out of October when they’ve
been ranked in the top 5? TCU undefeated… interesting…But Red River becomes a “whatever”
game as I don’t think Texas ever really had a chance, anyway….
Cheeseheads
bungle their opportunity and now have 2 losses…sending THEM to spoiler status…Which
is a great Segway to
The 5 Stages of
Slappy Fan Grief
- Denial and Isolation: Sparty – clinging to hopes that there
loss to the Ducks doesn’t become any more of an Achilles heel than it already
is….
- ANGER: MICHIGAN FAN….Still here…AIN’T LEAVING!!!! FIFE!!!
- Bargaining: Texas A&M, Bama, Sooners and any other 1 loss
team saying, “Hey, the committee HAS TO CONSIDER US TO BE 1 OF THE TOP 4
TEAMS!!!”
- Depression: Too many to list….Gatorland is going to be the
honorary number 1 after beating the Cremesicles but having their back up
QB that won the game come home and do something INCREDIBLY STUPID less
than 24 hours later? BranDictator
just sent the UF AD a lovely gift for getting Michigan out of the lead
story slot….But Wolverines share the top slot as the chance of POST SEASON
PLAY has taken an ugly turn.
Michigan’s odds of winning 6 games in total < 10%.
- Acceptance: Perdon’t, Iowa, Northwestern, Michigan, and Kansas…
The MMQ’s Top 10
Definitely a
couple of stunners over the weekend.
- FSU- they are not number 1, but
still get a seat at the FF table…
- TIE Auburn –
Ole Miss – Miss State – There can be only ONE!!!
- Baylor – It’ll be one of these two coming out of the
BigXII
- This hurts…domers…but FSU domer game will settle it all there...
- Sparty – SO MUCH HAS TO HAPPEN for
Sparty to squeeze in…but, not impossible!
- Oregon – Mariota for Heismann…Just
cause…
- TCU – Undefeated…
- Satan’s Warriors -
FIRE SABAN!!!! 4-3 in his
last 7 games!!! Maybe he’d come
back to Michigan?
- UCLA – It’s been ugly…I’m not sure how good the
Pac12 is now..
- Oklahoma – Just cause….
- Texas A&M – outside looking in....
Idle Thoughts From Saturday
-Okay – we don’t
look awful….
-Wait…Hold
that thought.
-OMG! Get to this guy…tackle the QB! Pressure!
-He’s a lousy
QB and we’re making him look like Heisman material.
-WTF!!!
-How many
guys out there on that punt return?
-AGAIN???? 10
guys only this time on the return team?
-AND BRANDON
STATED HE’S THE COACH TILL THE END OF THE SEASON??!!!!????
-Why don’t we
let Devin run more?
-Everyone
lets their QB run…
-Yeah…injury
and all that…I get it…but still.
-You can’t
change a Tiger’s stripes…
-Ugh…Did I
just mention Tigers?
-Another
Detroit, Michigan Shit Stain….
-How is it that Sparty is the only center of athletic excellence right now?
-How is it that Sparty is the only center of athletic excellence right now?
-Back to
Michigan…How is THAT NOT A COMPLETED PASS!!!???
-Change the F’ing
Rule if that’s NOT A COMPLETE PASS!
-I’m
officially pissed.
-Hoke, what
are you doing? A 46 yarder…Wait, that’s
wrong…
-It’s a 56
YARDER? Are you an idiot?
-Run a play
for God’s Sake!
-I hope this
is a fake of some sort…
-Oh, this
sucks.
-Wasted time…wasted
time outs…and we suck little green donkey dicks…
-Because we’ve
got nothing…I mean nothing.
-400 yards
passing? Seriously?
-F!@$% IT!!! FIRE EVERYBODY!!!
The Hot Seat
Genevieve
Morton WINS AGAIN! Lauren Mellor does
not make the finals…Interesting! She may
still be an MMQ pick at the end of the season to round out the field, but the
masses have spoken. Week #6’s HSM based
on the MMQ’s research and a loyal reader’s recommendation: Samantha Hoopes!
GONE LIST:
- Weis
Hot Seat Rank – No changes! These guys are all in trouble….
Brady
Hoke – It’s a foregone conclusion…
- Will Muschamp:
beat the cremesicles...shitstorm in the press erupts...
- Hazell: At
least Purdue scored against the domers….
- Beckman: He’s
got problems….
- Norm Chow:
Hawaii. The Rainbows haven’t
mattered in a while.and that’s a fan base that cares.
- Mike London:
Needs wins…
FMQ
I
didn’t get week 6 bets down due to work related issues and other stuff going
on. But I finally did do a wrap on week
5 and we will look at getting some wagers down this weekend. Hopefully, this hurts no one as the FMQ has
been doing lousy…Think if I tweet Katy and ask her for a favor she’ll help me out?
Sorry if this
sounds like Ancient History at this point –
Arkansas
(+9) @ TA&M: Take Arkansas
and the 9 for $30
WIN! Bank $57
Domers
@ Syracuse (+10): Take Syracuse
and the 10 for $20
LOSE….
Cincinnati
(+16.5) @ ohio: Take Cincinnati
and the 16.5 for $30
LOSE….
TCU
(-32) @ SMU: Take TCU
and lay the 32 for $40
WIN! Bank $76
Wyoming
(+31) @ Sparty: Take the Cowboys and the 31 for $20
LOSE….
Minnesota (+11.5) @
Michigan: Take the Gophers and the 11.5 for $30
LOSE….
PARLAY!!!
Arkansas – Cinci -
TCU:
$30 pays 6 to 1…
LOSE….
Starting Bank: $689
Total Win: $133
BANK: $822
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