What am I thinking?
Did ANYONE see this coming?????
WHO’S GOT IT BETTER
THAN US????
Let’s answer them in reverse order:
NOBODY!!!!!
Secondly, no one, not I, not even the slappiest of slappies
saw this coming. And I don’t mean I
couldn’t have “envisioned” 5-1. In fact,
if I had gotten around to a Pre-Season Spectacular, I think this is about where
I would have had Michgan this far into the season. But there would have been a great big
question mark/Worry Bead on the BYU and the Northwestern game and there’s NO
WAY I would have predicted that many shutouts.
And utter domination of the last three teams that Michigan played. Maryland was able to score three times on the
Suckeyes this past Saturday.
Ergo-Something BIG is brewing in Ann Abor. The last time a defense dominated in the Big
House like this….1997.
Tailgate Trivia: Name
the last team to win a National Title without a 1,000 yard rusher and a 500
yard receiver. Answer below…..
I’m thinking that I’m about to let my imagination run wild
here. If Michigan is in fact this good
and even if they revert to some sort of “normalization” on defense, they’re
still capable of driving offenses nuts. I
re-watched the game on Sunday Morning on the BTN“60 Minute Football” (which is
absolutely incredible BTW – Thanks BTN!) and when you can watch an entire game
in 60 minutes (sans pre-game warm up cocktails, Big Game and the like not
clouding your vision), you start to notice a couple of things.
1.
The
defense is taking stuff away. Mostly,
the line of scrimmage and the run game.
Michigan dominated the LOS and is letting the corners take care of
themselves. Peppers and Lewis are
proving, again at least for now, that they can more than handle receivers 1 on
1.
2.
The offense is incredibly patient and very
tricky. I like that….I REALLY like
that! Michigan has “re-discovered” the
ability to use the fullback. While most
defenses are so set on the Tailback or QB making a carry, the Fullback can bust
through and be past the linebacker before he can ever figure out what the hell
happened. Nice to see that making a
comeback.
3.
Michigan is also using crafty, imaginative ways
to get receivers open. I observed
defensive picks and crossing routes that appeared to use (intentionally) the
umpire. Gotta’ love Harbaugh. If the ref is part of the field - USE HIM!
4.
Special Teams…remember how we used to dread the
kicking game? I should state, the Field
Goal unit? Not so much now. Mr. Allen is finding the uprights no
problem. Punting is solid and the KO
return for 6 to start the game off….Well, that kind of goes without saying.
So to say that I’m letting myself believe that 10 wins is
not only possible, but after what we’ve seen so far…Dare I say that 10 wins
would be kind of a let down? I mean,
Sparty – God Bless ‘em – Is a festering pile of something that either the cat
just kakked up or the dog just squatted down and let loose in a wet pile – You
pick. I’m not saying they’re bad, but
let’s just say slipping by Rutgers, edging out Purdue, and a gift of a victory
against the Ducks (Don’t give me the “they we’re ranked when we played ‘em!”
garbage, either. The Ducks stink on ice
this season) when their QB missed what was a go ahead score late in the 4th
quarter….Well, I’m just saying this isn’t the same Sparty as last season. Objective Spartan fans will agree. You other clowns will be silenced soon
enough.
The rest of you will tell me I’m looking at the world
through Maize and Blue glasses….maybe. But
I feel way better about this game this year than I have in a long, long, LONG
time!
Where have I been?
That’s a good question. I started
a new job that keeps me incredibly busy.
And my cube is DIRECTLY Across from my DIRECTOR. So I’m busy and I usually have 40 in before
noon on Thursday. I have a needy
customer and a needier internal process that requires pushing and
prodding. While I could usually find a
couple of hours on a normal Monday morning to crank this out, now, staff
meetings, team meetings and everything else is making it impossible. Not to mention that the portable data saver I
downloaded everything on is now unreadable and all my MMQ stuff is on that
portable storage device!
Question to the hive:
Anyone know ANYONE that can salvage or get files off a storage device
that my computer is saying is corrupted?
Any and all advice is welcome.
What I want to do is be able to post the important stuff and
keep as much of the original format intact.
Another reason I haven’t written is that I really don’t want to jinx
this….I know, I know. I pick
the week of the biggest game to date to tempt the Fickle Finger of Football
Fate to make my appearance.
What the hell am I thinking?
I dunno’…I just know the MMQ could not be contained anymore!
So, without further ado:
The Rest of the Mess
Texas, Texas, Texas
– Two losses that could have been wins.
Ugly beat downs by the Domers and the Horny Frogs. Burnt Orange Nation laying out why Texas
needs to “Follow the Michigan Blue Print” and go hire the best pro coach with
college experience that money can buy:
Chip Kelly (Now with the Philly Eagles).
And Charlie screws that plan up by beating the Laters in the Cotton
Bowl! Congrats to Charlie! The Texas
pain may not last as long as everyone thinks….
Speaking of Laters: Bob Stupor might be available at the end of
the season. I can’t help but wonder what
it must be like to lose to one of your bitter rivals when they really suck and
you’re supposed to be a top 10 team…Oh wait,
I do know how that feels. The “Chip
Kelly Sweepstakes” have another fan base that’s willing to mortgage their soul
to get Kelly in a Later’s hat…and more support is getting a lot of traction in
places likeArkansas: The Hogs are an inexplicable team at times…and they say a team begins to take on their coach’s identity. Which, when you look at Brett B., well, it all kind of starts to make sense. Brett’s latest actions and on and off field shenanigans are getting old. I’d turn my tickets in if I were a Hog supporter….
The Rubbers: Wow…I didn’t think there could be a bigger dumpster fire in all of college football than Rutgers (more on that in a minute) but USC is trying like hell to get to the front of the line with the biggest dumpster they can find full of highly flammable material. Pat Haden hired what appears to be a coach that not only likes his Patron (That’s Pa-TRONE Tequila – Long “O”) but he expenses it to the school whenever he gets a chance. After reportedly being “too drunk” to attend the team practice on Sunday, Haden instructed Sark to take a leave of absence – indefinitely. This was after the pre-season Booster Club incident where Sark was loaded. (That indefinite leave means that you can’t fire someone with a substance abuse problem. You have to get them better first, THEN can ‘em.) There’s a great LA Times piece that that pulled a bunch of expense reports from Washington via the FOIA when Sark was the Head Coach. There’s one bill from January 2012 that lists a lunch stop in Nashville with about 8 shots and 5 brewskis for 4 coaches that has a cash out time - and you can’t make stuff like this up – of 11:53 AM. That’s impressive even by Automotive Sales Guy standards! I’ve always said you can’t drink all day unless you start in the morning, but Jeez….That’s putting in some early work! Chip Kelly is all over the Trojan message boards also with the theme that it’s time to bring Chip back to the West Coast. Rumor is he will take an Eastern Time Zone Job, Central Zone and Pacific and just fly across the country and coach each team as kick-off rolls around.
Rutgers – Kyle
Flood got hit with a 3 game suspension for his involvement with a professor and
the eligibility of a player that, ironically, was booted from the team. Go Figure.
Not to mention all the other athletic department tomfoolery that’s been
going on around that University and I tweeted and Facebooked: What’s a university have to do to get kicked
out of the Big 10 around here? What
looked like a good deal for the Big 10 and the New York TV market is quickly
turning into Delaney’s White Elephant…It’s too bad as he’s done so much good
for the conference, but this looks bad and has a long way to go before it
starts looking even close to good…
The Cornsuckers –
Overheard from Bo Pelini: “Miss me yet?” Here’s another team that is literally 20
seconds and about 5 plays away from being undefeated. Miami comes back to beat them in OT….Then the
Hail Mary by BYU. Nebraska inexplicably
passed on third down late in the game when running the ball against the Illini
would have chewed up a lot of clock and failing to convert the 3rd
down would have left Illinois no time to
score. Which, as it turns out, the
Illini found a way after the incomplete pass.
Wiscy looked beatable. But, in
the 4th Quarter, Wiscy missed the first kick, the Cornsuckers
couldn’t hang on to the ball with under 2 minutes left, and Wiscy goes down and
kicks the game winner. If you’re winning
these games it’d be one thing. You’d be
pissed, but you’d be undefeated. But
losing like this in the style and fashion that the Cornsuckers are losing? No need for vascetomies in Nebraska – Just go
to Lincoln on Saturday and let the team rip your balls off…The Cornsuckers are
also thinking “Chip Kelly”, but come on!
He’s already got 3 jobs….
Tennessee: As if adding insult to injury, the Cremesicles
won an SEC game and kind of a big one at that.
But beating Mark Richt is kind of like beating your little brother. Yeah, he’s pretty good but he’s not the
biggest SEC bully on the block. And right
when Volfan had a chance to sit back and enjoy the moment, Peyton Manning and Charles Woodson went at it
on Sunday and Charles reminded Peyton exactly WHY he was the Heisman winner in
1997 by picking Peyton off not once, but twice. And it’s either Chip Kelly or John Gruden for
Tennessee head coach next season.
Sparty – I’ve
said enough. It will soon be settled on
the field.
Suckeyes –
Another team that hasn’t found the end of season offense that clobbered teams,
but they’ve also lost their defense and have been either tied or losing at
halftime twice this season. I wish
Michigan could’ve played them early, but that’s just not the way it works.
The Domers (JEEZ I
HATE THESE GUYS!) – Poor Kelly. He’s
gotta be the most hated coach by his own fans of any fanbase in the
country. I mean, we disliked Brady for
his performance on the field, but I don’t think I ever belittle or berated the
guy or called him any of the following:
Kangaroo Guano, Captain Butt-Head, Ass Hat’s and Visors ‘R’ Us, Shallow
Throat (because he chokes in any game that’s too big), Total Tool, and any
other myriad of names that pop up on NDNation.
Yep, I never disliked Hoke. In fact,
I think he’s a good guy, just a lousy, god-awful coach. But NDNation has more pure vitriol directed
at Kelly that it kind of makes you wonder if in fact all those souls on that
message board are gonna’ make it to the next place – you know, up there? Methinks
- NOT!!! And they were just way
too hard on Kelly when the Domers finally scored in the deluge in Clemson and Kelly
decided to go for two. It was late in
the 3rd quarter and the Domers needed points. I didn’t completely disagree with the call
and thought it was about 50-50. Not
NDNation. That call is apparently a fire-able
offense. And according to the entire
board, Kelly should be gone!
Gatorland – What
a start for McElwain and the Gator Nation only to have the balloon popped today
upon hearing that Gatorland’s starting QB Grier tested POSITIVE for PED’s…but
get this: It was an over the counter
Muscle Milk or some such product that he thought was completely legal. And the PENALTY for using this over the
counter Muscle builder? 1 entire
season. This…IS the problem with the
NCAA and their rules. This type of punishment
will be what ends the NCAA’s power because universities have way too much on
the line here.
5 Stages of Slappy Fan Grief
1.
Denial and Isolation: Sparty – you own this one all by your
lonesome. Yeah, arguments could be made
for TCU and even the Suckeyes, but Sparty and their loyal fan-base can’t see
what’s unfolding before their eyes. I’ve
never heard some much lip from them and I guess they like getting their digs in
early in case they lose. Which, Is it
Saturday yet???!
2.
ANGER: LOTS and LOTS of fan bases in here. I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll just
start throwing them out there:
Cornsuckers, Rubbers, Longhorns, Laters, Sparty, Bamafan, Hogs, Tigers,
Bulldogs, Domers (x2), and Volunteers….
3.
Bargaining: This one is tough. I think Bamafan is probably the number 1
fanbase here as they believe there’s still a very good chance that they make
the Final 4 in the CFP. EVEN WITH TWO
LOSSES. And while I can sort of see that
on paper, It’s not gonna happen. Can
Satan win out? Well – its the SEC. And crazy crap happens down there. In fact, this weekend at Texas A&M will
be telling.
4.
Depression: The most depressed Fan Base – Cremesicles. It was close between Cornsuckers and the
Cremesicles, but the Cremesicles had slightly higher expectations, especially
the way they finished last season. The
Cornsuckers have had their collective balls-kicked in just about every
Saturday. And if you lived in Ann Arbor
that last 5 years, you know how that will quickly get you to
5.
Acceptance: I don’t know how any fanbase can “accept” the
fact that, “Yeah, we suck” this early, but if fan attendance is indicative, the
last turn out for VaTech was absolutely pathetic. They announced around 35,000 and it’s
believed there was around 20,000. And
don’t get me started on the Canes.
They’ve been averaging less than 15,000 fans per home game. That’s acceptance and apathy all rolled into
one….
The CFP Final 4
No more Top 10. Takes
too long and right now, this is all that matters.
1.
Either
the Suckeyes or Michigan: NO I’M
NOT JOKING AND I’M PERFECTLY SOBER. I
will be shocked if anyone else from the B1G gets through either of these teams
in the Title Game. Tim M – You’re still
living in Indy, right? All I need is a
little spot on the living room floor or in the garage on December 11th
and probably the 12th – assuming things go right.
2.
UTAH: It’s weird how a seemingly innocent game on a
Thursday night to open the season could possibly be the Final Scenario for the
CFP in 2015. A Rematch? Why Not?
3.
LSU:
Yep, I believe the Hatter gets to the top of the SEC heap, but with a
one dimensional offense, will it be enough to knock off the Utes who are
starting to roll….
4.
Baylor: The style points here cannot be ignored. Baylor is simply an offensive juggernaut kind
of like the Quack Attack, but they play a little more Defense. Until they lose (and partly because the Big
12 got snubbed last year) they’re in. If
the Suckeyes get in, I like Baylor. If
it’s Michigan and Baylor… who do you THINK I’m going to pick?
Close but no Cigar: Domers, Clemson, FSU, and TCU. In that order. The ACC “elite” will take care of each other
and they will probably be the Power 5 conference looking in on the fun once
everything is settled on December 12th.
Idle Thoughts from Saturday
1. “Can
Game” Controversies GALORE on Saturday!
2. For
those not familiar with the Tailgate, I won’t bore you with details…
3. But
the Commish was gone and we had a lot of judgment calls that needed to be made…
4. Fan
interference, “Canners” not doing their job properly – It was insane!
5. Finally,
game time.
6. DID
YOU SEE THAT!
7. And
did you see the block that Jabrill threw to spring Jehu free?
8. They
were all good blocks….
9. Damn,
we’re really good on defense.
10. Wait
– What? Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot! How did Lewis get that ball? Is this legit???!!! Pick 6 Baby!
11. A
kick-off return and a pick 6 in the same game.
12. Woah….
13. Harbaugh
isn’t playing these games…this is all the players!
14. Yeah,
he’s coaching them, but they’re making the plays.
15. Love
seeing the Fullback getting touches.
16. Ruddock
looks okay – this week.
17. I’m
not hoping for anything more at this point….
18. He’s
good at hitting that crossing route…
19. And
that play where they spring the Tight End free.
20. Seems
like a waste for the receivers when you don’t have a QB that can throw the long
ball…
21. 6
games and 5 and 1. I thought it would
have been tougher….
22. So
many seasons of simply not knowing what you were going to get….
23. And
now the expectations are coming back.
24. Huh…Thinking
about the rest of the schedule, 11-1 is my expectation and 10-2 is a
disappointment.
25. IS
that bad?
26. Yes…Yes
it is. Put your expectations in
check.
27. Winning
1 of the 2 against Sparty and the Suckeyes will be good.
28. Gotta
get by the Gophers on Haloween, too.
29. Nittany
Lions on the road will be a night game, also.
30. Question at the Tailgate: If you can only beat one (Sparty or ohio),
which one do you pick?
31. Right Answer: You “BEAT” Sparty because you’re supposed
to. You hope for a win against the
Suckeyes every other year. So, the answer
is the Suckeyes.
32. Also
overheard at the tailgate: “Jabrill
Peppers hasn’t shown me much.”
33. I
immediately asked this individual how much they’d had to drink and were they
driving?
34. Anyone
who thinks Jabrill isn’t the real deal, you’re simply not paying attention.
35. Re-Watch
the opening Kick-Off. Who’s the guy that
sprints past everybody else over the length of the field and is the second one into
the endzone standing next to Jehu? Yeah,
number 5.
36. Speaking
of Endzone
– READ IT!
37. I
will be posting a review at some point, but suffice it to say that when the MMQ
dubbed the AD “Bran-Dictator”, it was PERFECT.
What a colossal, egotistical arrogant Asshat.
38. And
I’m being nice, because this is a family column.
39. John
U Bacon walked by the tailgate and shook hands and even signed our Tailgate
Neighbor’s copy of Endzone. Alan – I need
that book back!
40. I
haven’t felt that good walking out of Michigan Stadium in a LONG TIME. A REALLY LONG TIME.
The Hot Seat
I feel bad that I wasn’t able to do a “complete” Hot Seat
Mascot for the entirety of 2015. I
figure we can do 7 weeks and have a 4 Mascot play-off at the end of the
season. Still looking for that first
one. Any Hot Seat Mascot nominees are
always welcome.
Wow. What a season
it’s already been. Firings, Suspensions
and leaves of absence.
GONE
1.
Beckman, Timothy – Illinois. For something that could have been handled in
the Spring. Odd timing and even odder
circumstances, but gone none the less.
2.
Edsall, Randy – Maryland has had enough and the
players only meeting that Edsall heard about from the press sort of sealed the
deal.
3.
Kyle Flood
- Suspended, but not canned…Yet.
I guess he might survive, but I don’t really see how.
4.
Sark – I really don’t see how Sark can get off
the wagon and still have a job when it’s all said and done. When his “Leave” is complete and he’s still
the head coach, I’ll take him off the list.
Hot Seat
1.
London –
Virginia. But some time with a close
loss to the Domers, but still can’t feel good to be in Virginia right now
2.
Brian Kelly – If the Domers lose again, and I’m
saying they will, I think it’s going to be really hard for Kelly to keep his
title….
3.
Brett Beliema – Says dumb things….does dumb
things…his hire might be considered a dumb thing….
4.
Whoever is coach at Kansas – Sorry….
5.
Mike Riley – Lincoln and the state of Nebraska
cannot be happy right now. Not in the
least….
Tailgate Trivia
Answer: You probably got it. The 1997 National Champion Wolverines had
neither a 1,000 Yard Rusher (That was hard for me to believe. Chris Howard - 938) and they didn’t have a
500 yard receiver, either (Tai Streets - 476).
