Walking into the stadium, I was accosted by a local law enforcement officer for wearing the street attire pictured.
The officer politely instructed me to “Remove my shirt and turn it
inside-out”. I told her I would do that
as soon as I got to my seat. Which, of
course, no, I didn’t.
Dilly-Dilly!!!
As we took our seats, AP announced that it was time for a “Good
Ole’ Fashioned A$$$ Kickin’!!!”
How prophetic those words would end up
being! Michigan played a COMPLETE
GAME. Anyone that can find an issue with
Michigan’s performance on Saturday just likes to hear themselves bitch…
I cannot recall a half of football in the Big
House where the opposing team only managed to achieve 17 total yards of
offense.
Read that again – 17 Total yards of Offense.
Just one
more time to make sure you got it:
17 YARDS
OF OFFENSE In the First Half!
I mean, I knew the cornsuckers were bad, I just had no idea
they were THIS BAD. The Highlights:
They
were worse than SMU. THEY WERE WAY WORSE
THAN Western. In all honesty, on Friday,
this guy was thinking that there was a way that the cornsuckers would somehow
pull off the upset.
No, I’m not kidding. I was really thinking that. That’s what you
get for looking at numbers, stats, etc. and letting your imagination get the
best of you.
The cornsuckers are a team that found a way to roll-up 500+ yards
of offense on Colorado. Then, to come
into the Big House and lay an egg of monumental proportions is unheard
of. We’ve seen bad teams in the Big
House before, but neither AP or I could remember a game where the opposing team only
had 17 yards of offense in the 1st half…Most of Nebraska’s
yards came in the 4th quarter when everyone was looking in the
program to figure out who was playing Defense for Michigan…
So, is the Michigan defense that good? In a word, Hell Yeah…
I guess that’s two words.
Michigan got off to such a fast start that they had two
plays and over 50 yards of offense thanks to Karan Higdon and a nifty little
run after a catch. Mason took over
inside the cornsucker’s 10 and scored easily on the initial drive.
You
could feel the ole’ fashion A$$ Whuppin’ starting right there.
Never
the less, I can’t really say much else about the game. Michigan went up by so much so early, that
the Patterson Passing Show
was dismantled and Michigan’s “O” more or less hit the cruise control button. Higdon was on the bench at halftime with
over 100 yards of rushing. Michigan
rushed the ball so efficiently (over 5 yards per attempt) that not only was the
passing game not necessary, it became kind of predictable. Which, I hate. When the MMQ can start calling plays from row
74 of the north end-zone, I’ve either seen too many Michigan Football games or
Michigan oversimplified the play-calling.
Maybe a little of both. Of
course, when Michigan did pass, good things happened. The most frustrating part was the non-PI call
(that would have been called by last week’s crew) on Nico Collins that
would have been a TD had he not been molested right before the catch…McCaffery
saw action late in the 3rd quarter when Harbaugh officially sent the
message to Frost that “We’re out-hitting and out-playing you today.” Which means Peters is the 3rd
string guy? McCaffery looked up to the
challenge and was fairly precise in the passes he threw. Michigan no longer has a QB problem…nuff
said.
And
there was this gem from DPJ – Which if I hear one more word from ANYONE
complaining about this kid, I’ll dot his eyes!
This D has to be given some sort of award. Michigan leapt up in the statistical ratings
thanks to the cornsuckers and their lack of effort. I believe Winnovich when he stated, “It seems
like they don’t even want to be out here.” That was more than an opinion. That was a statement of fact.
“Yeah, I
think we out-hit them today,” Winovich said. “I’m interested to see if maybe he
has a different opinion of it.”
The he, as
you may already know, is Scott Frost, who found a dubious silver lining in
UCF’s 51-14 loss to Michigan two years ago. There was no such silver lining for
Frost’s Nebraska Cornhuskers on Saturday after a 56-10 shellacking that,
really, wasn’t even as close as that.
Weirdest
play of the day? The double forward pass
by Martinez that the refs didn’t even know how to call. The MMQ was all over it and I had the Safety
Pose up early. After the refs goofed around for 3 or 4
minutes, they finally figured it out.
So, what does that mean for the Purple Kitties and the
Terps? I think they’re both in big
trouble. The Purple Kitties haven’t
lived up to their pre-season hype and the Terps, while they found a way to
stick it to the gophers, aren’t going to like visiting the Big House
this season. The next challenge(s) looms
in the form of Wiscy, LNU and PSU. In
that order. The next two weeks, assuming
Michigan sticks to this form of football, will be a lot more like scrimmages
than games.
And if Michigan continues to play like this, it
will all really boil down to November 24th in Columbus.
Of course, that assumes THE Sex Toy University takes care
of business this weekend in Happy Valley.
Two B1G undefeateds go head to head.
For what a lot of people think is for the B1G Championship. But those people aren’t paying attention to
what’s going on in Ann Arbor…
But now I’m getting way ahead of myself.
The
Rest of the Mess
CUD-
Complete Unmitigated Disasters
Va
Tech – Somehow, this is a team that went on the road, destroyed
a BAD FSU team and was poised to take the lead in the ACC Coastal and was
poised to take over a spot in the Top 10 sitting at number 11 in the national
rankings. Then, disaster. This isn’t even a disaster. This is like the horror re-visited. Old Dominion is not a good team. They were 0-3 heading into Blacksburg
as a 29-point dog. Yet they somehow
found a way. Fuentes has to be beside
himself. You don’t lose a game like this
to a team like that. To top it off,
Fuentes had to kick his number 1 Defensive End off the team for conduct
unbecoming. As the say, when it
rains, it pours. And it’s the ACC’s turn
in the bucket this week. The B1G was
last week. But when Clemson, Syacuse and the Wolfpack
are you’re only undefeateds, you’ve got problems…
Louisville
– Just got CRUSHED by Virginia. This was a pretty good team
last season, but what a difference a few players and a season can make. The Cardinals will be lucky to make a bowl
this season.
Tennessee
– You lost the one game you had a shot at winning. And you lost BAD. Pruitt’s rebuilding job may
take longer than Frost’s, and the Volunteer fan base is nowhere NEAR as patient
as the cornsuckers. If Pruitt doesn’t
win an SEC game, it’ll be very rough off-season sledding on ole’ Rocky Top…
Oregon – You
had Stanford. You let them back in the
game. And you lost in OT. I like Mario Cristobal, but you can’t lose
games like that. Not at home.
TCU
–
Another game where TCU could have dominated, but instead let the ShortHorns in the game
and they couldn’t turn it around.
ShortHorn fans have to be wringing their collective hands over the week
#1 loss to the Terps. They’ve been very
impressive since.
Nebraska – The
Cornsuckers
are on a 7-game losing streak and haven’t been 0-3 in 73 years. 73 years.
That’s like two lifetimes.
I will admit that all the Nebraska fans we met were incredibly nice and,
in a weird way, I hope Frost gets this turned around sooner rather than later.
Wake
Forest – In the weekend’s “Upset Special” where all the
money was flying in on the Deamon Deacons, the domers proved to be way to much
for Wake Forest and throttled them.
The defeat was so bad, Head Coach Clawson fired Defensive Coordinator Jay
Sawvel. Normally, that doesn’t happen
and there had to be some friction there already.
Come
Back Off The Ledge
Gophers – I liked
the row the boat show last week and they went down to Maryland and crapped the
bed. They just didn’t even look good in the
process. The Gophers had less than 300
total yards and couldn’t rush the ball.
They actually made Maryland look good, when last weekend Maryland made
Temple look like Super Bowl Champions. College
football. Go figure.
Texas
A&M – Still looked decent against Alabama and
somehow managed to beat the spread. 2
losses to the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the country isn’t anything to hang your
head about, but wins would be better...
Boston
College – right after jumping into the Top
25, you have to go to West Lafayette and play the best 0-3 team in the country. Call it Karma. Purdue is not a bad team and there’s no
reason to feel down about that loss. The
ACC is a mess and you’re still in it.
We
Won But…We Should Be Worried Week
Oklahoma
– The FMQ Called it, but seriously? In
what would have been the upset of the weekend, the Laters needed OT to finally beat
Army. The Laters have a bad
habit of playing worse and worse after the first weekend of football. Then they find a way to bounce back at the
end of the season.
Wiscy
–
Looked
ordinary against a good Iowa team. Wiscy
is NOT the powerhouse this fan thought they were. I re-watched the Wiscy-Iowa game and
Wiscy is very beatable at this point. If
you’re a cheesehead, you should be worried.
LNU –
Went down to Indiana and took care of business, but the green team doesn’t look that
good this season. And that’s
with 4 weeks in the books. And after a
week off.
THE
Sex Toy University – Sure, you blasted Tulane. But is Bosa gone for the entire season? I’m not saying one player is everything, but
that’s a pretty important gut to lose…especially heading into Happy Valley.
Can
Anyone Beat Bama?
I thought the Aggies had a shot, but Satan’s Warriors are
simply too much for anyone this season.
Bama now plays no one until LSU in November. Bama has an average margin of victory of 41
points and is set to break their overall scoring average this season. So be ready to see that stupid A get put up
on the Tuesday night rankings show until at least then…
The 5
Stages of Slappy Fan Grief
- Denial and Isolation –Va
Tech. Nothing else needs to be said…
- ANGER –Let’s go Va Tech
here as well…You beat FSU on the road for F-Sake and you can’t beat a
winless Old Dominion?
- Bargaining –Nebraska looking
for 1 W for the column. Just to say
they earned one…
- Depression –Va Tech,
Nebraska, Texas A&M, and some others…
- Acceptance
–
Not yet! Season’s still young….
Speaking
Of Buyer’s Remorse…
Frost
and Kelly have to be having the worst season’s of any new head coaches that
were hired based on their ability to win. I wanted a reporter to ask Frost how far away the 13-0 season last year looks in the rearview
mirror. To go from the proverbial top
(You can’t do any better than undefeated, I don’t care what level you’re
playing) to winless in less than 12 month’s-time has got to hurt. Chip Kelly also has to be wondering why he
gave up his ESPN gig and got back into this mess. Time will tell, but one of these guys may not
make it as long as they think.
Idle
Thoughts from Saturday
-Dilly-Dilly!!
-Everyone
thought it would be funny if I wore that shirt...
-And it was!
-I guess the law wasn’t impressed.
-I mean, I’ve seen worse shirts worn by the visiting team.
-If they’re not making them take those off, I’m wearing
Dilly-Dilly for the Maize Out!
-Nebraska doesn’t look good.
-Oh Jeez.
This is going to get out of hand...
-Wow. This is not
Nebraska Football.
-I’m not even sure this is bad high school football.
-Frost is going to have his hands full moving forward.
-This isn’t a 3-year turnaround.
-This is a 5-year project.
-Frost needs to finds some guys that want to play football.
-They look inept.
-I was actually worried about this game.
-No need to worry!
-Higdon already on the bench?
-I guess. I’d be
pissed if he got hurt with a lead this big…
-McCaffery in. Over Peters…
-Hmmmm. Peters in
the Dog House or just getting outplayed?
-From the looks of it, he’s getting out
played.
-Who’s playing Defense for Michigan right now?
-I don’t recognize anyone.
-Harbaugh called off the dogs.
-Right thing to do.
-This score could have been 80, easy.
-Trust me.
THE MMQ’s “I DON’T NEED A COMMITTEE!”
Will return when the Committee makes their first ranking!
The Hot Seat
ZAPPED
List
We’ll keep track of who’s gone as the season progresses….
- Durkin – I really don’t know
what’s taking so long and that’s forever to leave a guy hanging in the
gallows…
Electric
Chair of Death Seat!
- Fuentes–
Can’t lose to a winless Old
Dominion team and not expect to get some heat for it. I’m sure Fuentes survives, but this will
not be a pleasant week in Blacksburg...
The Hot Seat
- Kelly - UCLA winless keeps on the hot
seat.
- Ash - Rutgers
- Brohm –
1 Win is good, but a bowl is needed.
- Sumlin – Arizona
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