Everyone REMAIN CALM! DON’T PANIC!!! (Yet)

Don't panic yet...There will be plenty of time for panic once the new coach is announced - depending on who that new coach is.

I almost titled this entry:

Brandon Turns Michigan Into Domers NORTH.

Anyone who knows me knows exactly how painful it would have been to write that title.

I hate tOSU.
I hate Sparty.
I hate the SEC…

But there is no one that I truly hate and despise as much as the Domers (JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!) And, unfortunately, as much as I try to not draw the comparisons, it would seem that we have stumbled down the same path as that so-called religious school to the south west… So you know the pain I’m feeling right at this very moment. However, you may also ask,

“MMQ, Why are earth are you making this comparison?”

Well, for starters, we just canned a coach after 3 years (the first year, 2008, universally accepted as a throw away year) with 1 year left on his contract. Was that the right move? I can’t say it was the wrong move and I’m not here to even debate that piece of it. I’m just saying that the Domers canned Losingham after his third season. They also canned Wuzzles after 5 years with 5 left on his contract. And $warbuck$ reiterated time and time again that “money is no object” when it comes to the next coach. At today’s presser, Brandon canned a coach and stated that Michigan would no longer be in the middle of the road when it came to paying it’s head coach.” Does that sound like something that was said by the Domers? Yep….

Michigan hired Rodriguez hoping that a “bright and shiny thing” would come in and make the perceived dinosaur that was Michigan football into a nimble, quick National Championship contender. The Domers hired a big, fat thing hoping that his “bright and shiny” experience training QB Tom Brady in New England would somehow translate to National Titles at the Domers. As we all now know, neither “bright and shiny” idea worked out very well.

What does seem to work is a back to basics approach that implies a Michigan Man on the sidelines and at practice that is defense oriented. Which, if you have been reading me for awhile, I stated we might be doing in 3-4 years if and when the “Bright and Shiny” thing didn’t work out. And what have the Domers done? Gotten back to basics with a down to earth detail oriented guy: Brian Kelly.

Why did Michigan go to the Big East for coaching talent in the first place?

I dunno.

Ask Sailboat Boob Martin and his search committee.

All I do know is that David Brandon needs to make the right hire and he needs to make it RIGHT NOW. I will give him a week, which in today’s sound bite world is probably way too long to save the 2011 recruiting class. But, if you’re a long term thinker like I am, you’ll throw away the next 3 seasons as the ship is righted. And you’re probably throwing away the next 3 seasons, anyway…Of course, how many more 3 season chunks can the Michigan Mystique and the good name of Michigan afford to toss away?

It’s really hard for me to comprehend that it was a mere three years ago when we did this the last time, and it was a post that I personally had to go back and review as to what the “feeling” at the time was. Definitely different. Definitely not a panic.

Anyway, a short list of candidates:

All the ones you’ve heard-

Harbaugh:
Michigan Man: Absolutely. Drunk? Yep.
Excitement factor – off the chart.
Odds: 2011 to 1. But more on that in a minute…

Hoke:
Michigan Man: Yes.
Excitement Factor: Kind of like getting a new tie for Christmas. (Read: Dead Whoopee). Odds: 2 to 1. Or less.

Miles:
Michigan Man: Yes.
Excitement Factor: 3 years ago, High. Now? Not so much…this is kind of like 2nd prize if you can’t get Harbaugh.
Odds: I just don’t see this one happening, folks. Too much crap in the toilet with respect to Les that simply can’t be flushed at this point. Accusations, questionable integrity, recruiting issues, etc. No odds on Les….

And now for the ones you haven’t heard of or haven’t thought about:

Here’s what I wrote about Mike Trgovac in 2007: Defensive Line Coach for Green Bay Packers...Played for Bo...Could be a potential upset possibility to Les Miles....We just don't know much about him and is unproven at the head coaching spot...Even Bo was a head coach before he came to Michigan. The only guy without head coaching experience before he got the job??? Lloyd Carr.Odds: 4-1 (2007) Today: 100 to 1

Ron English:
Michigan Man: sort of. More of a Lloyd Carr Man.
Excitement Factor: He hasn’t been successful at Eastern, but I believe he was a good coach that was well respected while he was here (think 2006 defense). And it’s Eastern. He took the only job that was out there when the time came.
Odds: 800 to 1.

Urban Meyer:
Michigan Man: Yes – in a weird, convoluted way. Has always had outs for Michigan in every contract.
Excitement Factor: It would be more of a “Jeez, I’m stunned” factor if he came to Michigan. Odds: 400 to 1.

Mark Richt:
Michigan Man: No.
Excitement Factor: Eh. I’m surprised he still has a job with all the crap that’s going on in Georgia.
Odds: 500 to 1.

Tedford, Jeff (California): Coaches a Big 10 style offense and defense.
Excitement factor…Nada.
Michigan Man…Nada….
Odds: 1,000 to 1.

All the other Peterson, Patterson, Wittingham (who lost to the Domers) and other Non-AQ coaching names that constantly get banded about as potentials for big time programs (in other words, the field):
Michigan Man: None.
Excitement Factor: Depends on who would emerge from the pack.
Odds: 5,000 to 1

However, I do believe that Brandon has a plan. You would hope he LEARNED SOMETHING from the Sailboat Bill debacle...Urban Meyer resigned and Florida fans went beserk with a “What are we gonna do NOW?” attitude.

Florida hired Muschamp. Florida fans rejoiced.

Give the man (Brandon) a chance, people - DON'T PANIC YET! I'm not on the MZone Plane crashing into the mountain yet with the knowledge that Brandon wouldn't have done what he did without a plan - I simply can't believe that at this point. There’s something cooking (I hope) and there’s someone out there waiting to jump on the chance to come to Michigan. That’s my take on it and Brandon knows who that someone is. At least, I sincerely hope he does or the plane that Maize and Brew referred to has in fact crashed into the mountain and it will take years before it’s repaired to the point where we’re competitive again.

And maybe, just maybe…The following played out somewhere.

SCENE:

Miami- Hole in the Wall Bar on January 5th – early morning hours after the Orange Bowl

PLAYERS:

An Athletic Director, A West Coast College Head Coach, and that Coach’s Brother/NFL Head Coach.

AD: So, you want the job?
West Coast Coach: Absolutely. The time I spent at Michigan was the greatest time in my life. Why wouldn’t I want to come back and turn the situation around?
Brother: Okay. But no one can know that you two spoke.
AD: Yes. That’s critical. It needs to look like it happened naturally.
West Coast Coach: Let’s have a little fun with the press…
AD: That’s a great idea. I’m thinking of leaking the fact that I fire Rich Rod and then deny it ever happened just to make one news outlet look bad. And really screw with one Newspaper in Detroit in particular.
Brother: And I can say that I’ve talked to you and that there’s no WAY he isn’t going to the pros…The press will eat that up.
West Coast Coach: Yeah…And I’ll stay I’m staying at Stanford with 40,000 fans on Saturday and $2.5M annually vs. going back to Michigan and, was it $4 Million, Dave?
AD (wincing): Yes. And $350K for a BCS bowl. And another $1M bonus for a National Title.
West Coast Coach (smiling): Yeah, baby! Hey, let’s figure out how we can fuck with the press some more….
Brother: I can say that your dream has been to coach in the NFL.
West Coast Coach: And I can say that the 49er’s job is right in my back yard and has always been something I wanted to do. I'll even go there for a 5 hour interview to see what they have to say.
AD: And I can easily have a press conference when I fire Rich Rod and look like an ass doing it…And I can call you out and make it look like I'm arrogant enough that I don't need you.
West Coast Coach: But I don’t want to wait too long before you hire me. Can we make it official by Friday?
AD: I think we can do that…
Brother: Then it’s done.
AD: Yep. Jimmy, we’ll see you in a week.

Hey, I'm the MMQ...I can dream a little, can't I?