Charlie Weis – Or “How Did We Enjoy You? Let us Count the Ways…”

Charlie will always hold a special place in the college football fans heart. He never quite “Got” what college football is all about: Emotion, getting up EVERY WEEK, treating every opponent like they are ready to come in and destroy you…Charlie said as much when he commented, which was often. And on the pentultimate game, what does he do? He declines to give us any last “quotes” and slides out the side door…Now, I could call him a “weasel” for his actions, but, really, he and everyone in the free world have seen this writing on the wall and knew what was going to happen. So, can I blame him? With the media melee that has surrounded him all season, it would have been just another round of questions that he’s either already speculated on or answered in some way…

So let’s take a gander at some of Charlie’s comments, now to be called “Weisism’s”.

Charlie Weis interview about two weeks into his tenure: “I am a pro-football offensive coordinator handed a gift in the form of Tom Brady who was a pretty good quarterback in his own right that I made into a Super Bowl Champion. I can certainly coach at the college level.”

“You are a 6 and 5 football team. That’s not good enough for you…It’s certainly not good enough for me…” - CW, his hiring day

“I think it's only right to give just due to your opponent who just kicked your butt." After the Amaizin’ Blue Ripped the Domers at home in 2006

“Notre Dame is not some garbage school that everyone can crap on all the time” – CW, in better times….

“I certainly don’t make the BCS decisions…” Charlie, waving his Super Bowl Championship Ring at the camera…

“To Hell with Michigan!” Prior to losing to Michigan, 2009…

Note To Domers: When interviewing future head coaching potentials, look for guys that weigh LESS THAN the starting O-line…combined…Oh come on, MMQ, is that the best you’ve got? That’s what you’re going to fall back on? Wuzzle’s Weight? No, that’s too easy. Especially when Charlie has given us so much. (Cue the “One Shining Moment” Music)

There was the near victory against USC where the Domers would have beaten them at home had Bush not pushed Leinart into the endzone...Wuzzles later asked in the presser if the rules aren’t enforced, what can he do about it?

OR how about the Sugar Bowl in the 1st quarter inside their own 30 and C.Wuzzles called for a 4th down run in order to “take control” of the game that they were subsequently crushed by LMU?

What about the oh so many times that Wuzzles had that stunned look on his face in the presser after the Domers were whipped by another opponent where he made it out to be the best college performance in the world (by the opposition) and that his kids never gave up, but just didn’t have what it took?

Yes, we’ll miss Charlie.

So, who is the front runner to be the next living legend to “Cheer, Cheer for Old Notre Dame, Wake Up the Echoes, Cheering Her Name?” First of all, Notre Dame, like Michigan, needs to learn that it is NOT the end all, be all of college Coaching Positions. I had a difficult time accepting that when Michigan started its search and they were talking to names like “Schiano”, “Ferentz”, and other long shots on my list. I just ASSUMED that Les Miles would jump at the chance to come back to his alma mater. Stupid assumption. Domers need to figure out that they are not that special, either. In fact, without the money that $warbuck$ can offer, what is Notre Dame, really? An independent with no real bowl tie ins, difficult schedules that require EXTENSIVE in season travel, and rivalries with pretty good teams that they will always have difficulty beating in any given year. USC, Michigan, MSU, BC, Stanford, Navy…and the locals who are getting better, Purdue and Indiana. The Domers can’t even beat Navy with any consistency at this point…So, without the conference and the “guaranteed” 4 or 5 wins you get from the soft non-conference schedule and perennial doorstops in the conference, it’s a difficult job. And believe me, all the big league conference coaches the Domers are going to interview KNOW that…

So, in no particular order, with the exception of the MMQ’s spin, I offer you that one of the next 6 names will be the Head Football Coach and the New Domer Main Man within the next two weeks. That person most likely has no clue what he’s about to get himself into….

Brian Kelly (Cincinnati): Odds 5-2. Somehow, this has to be the guy. He’s Irish Catholic. He’s won everywhere he’s been. Canned his Defensive coordinator last year, hired a new one, lost 10 kids on defense, and still somehow managed to go undefeated…without a defense. Think Notre Dame and $warbuck$ aren’t looking for a offensive minded coach to come in and win while they get things fixed on defense? Think again.

Bob Stoops (Oklahoma): Odds: 25-1. I am only putting this in here because EVERYONE (and I do mean everyone) HAS HIS NAME ON THEIR LIST. Which means: Either he’s a legitimate candidate even though he says he’s not, or he is simply the Les Miles version of what happened in the Michigan Hiring Fiasco. Me thinks it’s the latter and there are very few people in the know on this decision or what the rank inside of Notre Dame is with respect to the men they are going to interview. But getting Stoops might mean they are missing out on the best candidate, and that just might be Brian Kelly. Also, if they PAY Stoops enough to leave, it will be over the $5M mark, due to the fact that is what Stoops will average if he stays through 2011…

Gary Patterson (TCU): Odds: 30-1. I don’t buy the fact that a guy with no real ties to the program through either religion or prior coaching experience would A. Want to subject himself to the circus that has become Domer Football, or B. Leave a pretty good thing he has going at TCU for less than a Big 12 or SEC job. Which there will be plenty of in short order if you give it two more years. Don’t believe me? Kansas is thinking about canning Mangino, winningest coach ever for that program. Les Miles is always coaching his way into a media shitstorm…Patterson is old and has seen a lot. Let’s just say he has wisdom and no amount of leprechaun gold will lure him away…I think.

Bronco Mendenhall (BYU): Odds: 50-1. The problem I have with the Domers picking this guy is that he doesn’t have any ties with the Domers. None, not even with the coaches he knows or has associated with in the past. He’s a MWAC coach…He hasn’t won in the truly “Big Leagues”. The Domers tried that once with Ty Willingham. I don’t think they’ll do it again.

Urban Meyer (UF): Odds 350-1 Look – this one should be in the field and it just isn’t happening. Urban has a good thing going at Florida. Next year will be rougher than usual, because Tebow won’t be running the offense, but Florida will survive. And they’ll be around for awhile. The Notre Dame Job is an iffy thing. It’s already killed three decent coaches…Maybe you could win there (again) but most likely, the program is in a tough spot without conference affiliation and Meyer knows that. He knows the advantages and disadvantages to playing in a conference. And my guess is he likes the conference affiliation and the SEC. And Mrs. Urban Legend likes Florida…Urban ain’t happening, but you can bet he’ll talk to them if it means a raise where he is now…Just a hunch.

Kyle Wittingham (Utah): Odds: 350-1. See Bronco Mendenhall. Makes less sense than the argument for Bronco. Kyle just doesn’t have much with the exception that he is in Utah and that’s where Urban was when the Domers tried (sic) to hire him for the head coaching spot.

The Field: Odds: 500-1. Meaning, you’re next coach of Notre Dame will come out of the list above because the University will literally throw an insane amount of money at this group until one of them says yes. The Domers have learned that much: Get the man you want. Don’t settle for the next best choice. Therefore, the field is a long shot, at best.

Names not on the list (in the Field- odds noted if different from the field):

Gruden – Notre Dame won’t make the same mistake twice. Unproven Pro Coach with questionable ability at the pro level. (1000-1)
Petersen (Boy’s State) - Doesn’t want to leave the magical Blue Turf of Idaho…But look out for a Virginia connection (the AD played college hoops at Boise) and Petersen interviewing for that job....
Mark Richt (Georgia) – after the season Georgia just had? Riiiiight…..(1000-1)
Harbaugh (Stanford) – I was close to putting him on the list at 250:1 or so, but I just couldn’t bring myself to put a Michigan Man at Notre Dame…but if you got him and could keep Clausen for another year…Wow…That’s scary.
Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern) – Another one that I almost put up above. Ara was from Northwestern where he lost…So, the Irish took a chance once on a Northwestern capable coach. And I think Fitzgerald is capable – and he knows defense….but it’s a long shot.
Skip Holtz (East Carolina): I thought the Domers would be licking their chops to get a Holtz legacy in there, but clearly, the departure of Holtz was worse than anyone inside the Dome has let on…
Turner Gill (Buffalo): Gets the Midwest and what kind of player it takes to play here. But, again, the Domers probably won’t go that route again with an unproven at a smaller school.
$ATAN (Alabama): This one makes sense as he IS A GUY that will JUMP for MONEY. And Just to Piss Off Alabama, he might take the job claiming that he’s doing it for the good of football and for the good of Notre Dame.
Dantonio (MSU): Easy, and quit laughing now. Dantonio has proven he can win in the Midwest as well and has owned the Domers... If you think his name isn’t on the Domer long list, you’re kidding yourself. It would make for an interesting leap in the upper Midwest if it were to somehow materialize and that would leave MSU shopping for a head coach again…