Pre-Season 2006

First and foremost, I would like to express a very heart felt Thank You to all for the kind notes and words that I receive after these issues. I never realized you people actually had nothing better to do on a Monday Morning than read this drivel and actually take the time to comment back to me. I also want to say hello in the native language to all the countries this distibution goes out to, so:

"Wie Gehts", "Konnichi wa", and "Hola"!

So, without further ado, let's get the 2006 Season Rolling!

Hey Everyone - You're all undefeated and in contention for the National Title! No one is yet a Suckeye, a Cornsucker, Jolly Green Giant, or anything yet......Well, I guess you folks south of the border are still Suckeyes and will always be Suckeyes, but hey, that's just the way a Wolverine Fan sees the world.....

After reading all the Pre-Season magazines, watching ESPN, reading some various Weblogs, etc, I think we can safely say the following: Nobody knows nothin' and they have to play the games to figure out how the season is going to turn out. For the first time in at least three years, there really isn't a clear cut contender for the National Championship. I know, I know, I can already hear the howls coming from South of the Border and Suckeye Nation screaming that they are the pre-season favorite to win it all. Well, Suckeye Fan, look at it this way:

1. Somebody has to be the pre-season number 1. Has to. It's kind of like the kiss of Death and being first born....You were the consensus - "Will suck the least after having a great year-last year" winner.
2. Last Season's pre-season number 1 went down to Texas in the Rose Bowl.
3. You lost 9 - NINE starters on Defense. I know Tressel is good, but I think with that with a young defense, some losses may come your way. As early as that 2nd Game in Texas.........
4. There will be more Maurice Clarrett coverage on your opening day press show then what's actually happening on the field.
So, Suckeye Fans, get out there and "Goose -Up" for your season - you gonna need it..... (OSU nation - I would still like to know how you got out of playing the Cheeseheads.....They are the one team that actually seems to beat you on a somewhat regular basis - besides Michigan, I mean)

So, let's just say that if you "read between the lines" of some of the pre-season hype, you will objectively see that the National Championship race is probably as wide open as its ever been.......In fact, suffice it to say that the MMQ believes that all top 5 Preseason teams will be out of the top 5 - or have at least one loss on the record - come Season's end - and they are:

1. Ohio State - enough said. It will all come down to November 18th in Columbus - and the Wolverines will prevail.
2. Texas - You lost the only guy who could win games for you....and Adrian Peterson is back and healthy for Oklahoma.....Look out "Shorthorns" and Circle October 7th on the calendar as your day of reckoning.....
3. Notre (RAAALPH) Dame - This one blows my mind after the spanking that OSU put on these guys last year. The Domers (jeez I hate these guys) go down in week two to the mighty Maize and Blue as Michigan goes on to it's first road victory in 6 years.....(I hope)
4. Southern California - You lost Leinart, Reggie Bush, and most of the Offensive Line....And your defense was never that good to begin with - You simply out Offensed everyone you played... How in the hell do they get a pre-season 4th? Early Upset - Nebraska comes to California and shuts down the Rubbers.
5. Oklahoma - How does a team who kicked their starting quarterback off the team for rule violations manage to stay in the top 5? Everyone knows Stoops is the real deal and is ready to play the "Laters". Someone will upset them....but they will give Shorthorns fits.

So, you ask, who will be in the top 5? The MMQ is not as much of a prognisticator as everyone thinks. I don't like gambling where I don't know the outcome of a situation. I like moving all in with Aces Full, 4 of a Kind and Straight Flushes. In reality, I am more of an analyst after the fact - kind of the like the accountants who come into the meeting to remind you that your losing money......I prefer bayoneting the wounded and kicking them when they are down......Also remember, I think Michigan will win every game... (By the way, Michigan is giving 25 this weekend....I think I take the Commodores and pray that Carr gets the backup quarterback some game time in the second half....In other words - Vandy Covers) However, what would this column be without some predictions - so here we go....

1. MICHIGAN - Enough said. If we can win our first road game, get by Sparty and Joe Pa's Nittany Kittens, Beat Iowa, Win in Columbus and not lose another one somewhere along the way - Everything will be fine.
2. Florida - I still think this could be a breakout year for Urb.....Look Out for the Gators
3. West Virginia - you have to give it to them based on the "WEAK" East Schedule - and the MMQ's father in law is a Mountaineer fan......
4. California - only team to beat USC in the last 3 years......These guys got jobbed last year in the whole BCS thing and I think they are pissed.....
5. Iowa - with only one blemish on the schedule ( a loss to the Wolverines), the Hawkeyes sneak into the top 5.......

Strong Possibilities - LSU Kitty Kats and Auburn....

Dates to Circle:

1. September 4th - FSU at Miami - I love this game. As my brother in law says - One team you hate has to lose! If Coker goes down, Coker is GONE.....
2. September 9th - OSU at Texas - Read the above.
3. September 16th - LSU at Auburn - This game will reveal the prediction of the above as a potential contender. ALSO Nebraska at USC - I think The CornSuckers come bak into the national eye if they can pull off the upset.....
4. Spetember 30th -Iowa at OSU - this may have National Title Implications......
5. October 7th - MSU Comes to the Big House trying to same JLSmith's job.....Can they do it or does Mariucci get a phone call and get his butt off the couch?
6. Any Game in November for West Virginia - They will probably be undefeated platying with their nuts - er - Testicles in their throat and Upset will be on the mind of everyone left on the Little East Roster....
7. October 14th - Florida at Auburn - A must win (probably) for both teams....
8. November 18th - UM at OSU, of course. California at USC....

On the "Going, Going.......GONE!" List:

John L Smith - No Bowl - now winning record = GONE
Larry Coker - No National Title - well maybe not that, but no win over FSU and Florida = GONE
Phil Fulmer - No SEC Title......Well, maybe not that - but no Bowl = GONE

Look for next week's edition on Tuesday......

MMQ