MMQ Final (January, 2007)

MMQ Final

Man – what a bowl season. Who could have figured on the games that we had, the unexpected developments, and the total meltdowns of some of the BCS Teams – well – except for the Domers.

I won’t go into any long boring detail….but I will review the games:

SUCKEYES - GATORLAND. CONGRATULATIONS GATORS!!!!
With the exception of the opening kick-off, the Suckeyes and the Sweater Vested Troll were completely clueless in this game. Great 4th down call in the 1st half there Tressel – I especially liked the fact that the play didn’t even require a measurement……MORON……What else can be said? The Gators were not only deserving, but they were clearly the best team on the field in all aspects of the game. Offense, defense, special teams to the water boy – OSU got their collective butts kicked up and down the field – and this was all in the 1st half. UrbanLegend – you are welcome for getting the opportunity in addition to getting a script of how to attack the defense handed to you by UM. Pass, pass and pass some more. One excuse for the lowly suckeyes: I know that if I don’t swing a golf club on a course for two months and I need to make a shot, I am probably not going to make the shot….I don’t care what anyone says, that time off from November 18th had to hurt all the Big Ten teams and they need to figure out how to schedule in order to play some games in December to stay fresh…..

KITTY KATS – DOMERS As expected, the Domers weren’t even in this game from the opening kick – Hell, even the Domer Band got played off the field….. I especially liked C. Wuzzles 4th down call in the 1st quarter (Sweater Vested One – Didn’t you see this??? Someone tells these guys - IT DOESN’T WORK!!!!) MORON….What do coaches think they are gaining? Am I missing something? Is the short field you will hand you opponent really worth it? I don’t get those calls, so if someone more intelligent than I can explain, I would really appreciate it.

BOYS STATE – LATERS – You know, this would have been a great game a little earlier on New Year’s day….I can’t tell you how many people I talked to that asked me if I had seen the game as everyone seemed to have gone to bed or gave up on the finish before the Boys State comeback……Stoops will be getting a lot more tough questions for being the first coach to let a “little school” go undefeated and actually giving the little guys a legitimate argument for being in the mix when the whole mess finally goes to a play-off – PLEASE GOD - LET THERE BE A PLAY-OFF……Thanks Stoops……

MICHIGAN – RUBBERS – Can’t say more about this game than what has already been said. How can Lloyd expect to show up in LA and not throw the ball???? Come on….Let’s get some creativity in the game plan and play calling. Michigan players deserve better coachesand a better final game – season philospophy…..But at least you can say that Michigan didn’t get spanked in the 1st half, unlike the suckeyes…….

NITTANY KITTIES – CREAMSICLES – Well, Joe Pa proved me wrong and Fullmer is still trying to explain how he lost to the Big Ten again…..But at least he kept his job….

CHEESEHEADS – SLOPPY PIGS – Newbie coach wins 12 games and his bowl game and his name still isn’t a household word….Anyone tell me his name without looking it up? One thing about the Cheeseheads – they will be back next year with a vengeance…..

SHORTHORNS – CORNEATERS – Coach Big Mac Attack beat the highest paid coach (formerly – Way to Go Nicky – You get a chance to get picked on again by the MMQ) and Ferentz is wondering why he turned down all those requests from the pros for interviews last year……

CORNSUCKERS – AUBURN KITTIES – Jeez Cornsuckers, beat somebody good, will ya???? You had this game and blew it…..

HOAKIES – BULLPUPPIES – Did anyone watch this game?????

MOUNT’EM BOYS – BUMBLEBEES – WVU and Rodriguez pulls off the comeback win….Rodriguez is a class act for staying put and not becoming the next pinball in what has become the environment around Alabama Football……Notice the MMQ will never use “class” and “Saban” in the same sentence…..

Was there an Orange Bowl???? Oh Yeah – Wake Forest and Louisville……I guess Louisville won……

Alabama will be fun to watch for the next couple of years….It will be interesting to see where Saban will go after two losing seasons…….

So, that’s a wrap. Let’s review the preseason predictions to see how the MMQ did:


So, let's just say that if you "read between the lines" of some of the pre-season hype, you will objectively see that the National Championship race is probably as wide open as its ever been.......In fact, suffice it to say that the MMQ believes that all top 5 Preseason teams will be out of the top 5 - or have at least one loss on the record - come Season's end - and they are:

1. Ohio State - enough said. It will all come down to November 18th in Columbus - and the Wolverines will prevail. – OOPS! Even the MMQ is wrong every now and then…..Jeez, I wanted the Wolverines to win this game…….
2. Texas - You lost the only guy who could win games for you....and Adrian Peterson is back and healthy for Oklahoma.....Look out "Shorthorns" and Circle October 7th on the calendar as your day of reckoning.....Didn’t lose to OU, but didn’t make a BCS or TOP 5 final rank, either.
3. Notre (RAAALPH) Dame - This one blows my mind after the spanking that OSU put on these guys last year. The Domers (jeez I hate these guys) go down in week two to the mighty Maize and Blue as Michigan goes on to it's first road victory in 6 years.....(I hope)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOSERS!!!!!
JEEZ I HATE THESE GUYS!!!!!!
4. Southern California - You lost Leinart, Reggie Bush, and most of the Offensive Line....And your defense was never that good to begin with - You simply out Offensed everyone you played... How in the hell do they get a pre-season 4th? Early Upset - Nebraska comes to California and shuts down the Rubbers. Another OOPS!!!!! Except that Lloyd could have had a better game plan and helped me out by keeping these guys out of the final top 5……
5. Oklahoma - How does a team who kicked their starting quarterback off the team for rule violations manage to stay in the top 5? Everyone knows Stoops is the real deal and is ready to play the "Laters". Someone will upset them....but they will give Shorthorns fits. – OKLAWHOOOOOO????

So, you ask, who will be in the top 5? The MMQ is not as much of a prognisticator as everyone thinks. I don't like gambling where I don't know the outcome of a situation. I like moving all in with Aces Full, 4 of a Kind and Straight Flushes. In reality, I am more of an analyst after the fact - kind of the like the accountants who come into the meeting to remind you that your losing money......I prefer bayoneting the wounded and kicking them when they are down......Also remember, I think Michigan will win every game... (By the way, Michigan is giving 25 this weekend....I think I take the Commodores and pray that Carr gets the backup quarterback some game time in the second half....In other words - Vandy Covers) However, what would this column be without some predictions - so here we go....

1. MICHIGAN - Enough said. If we can win our first road game, get by Sparty and Joe Pa's Nittany Kittens, Beat Iowa, Win in Columbus and not lose another one somewhere along the way - Everything will be fine.OOPS – Shoulda beat OSU…..and the Rubbers…..
2. Florida - I still think this could be a breakout year for Urb.....Look Out for the Gators Got one right here…..You’re welcome, Caryl.
3. West Virginia - you have to give it to them based on the "WEAK" East Schedule - and the MMQ's father in law is a Mountaineer fan......Finished weak….
4. California - only team to beat USC in the last 3 years......These guys got jobbed last year in the whole BCS thing and I think they are pissed.....Last time I listen to Lee Corso…..
5. Iowa - with only one blemish on the schedule ( a loss to the Wolverines), the Hawkeyes sneak into the top 5.......I am no longer a Kirk Ferentz Fan……

Strong Possibilities - LSU Kitty Kats – BEST TEAM AND POTENTIALLY BEST COACH IN THE SEC – Even with Alabama’s new hire…….. and Auburn....


On the "Going, Going.......GONE!" List:

John L Smith - No Bowl - now winning record = GONE
Larry Coker - No National Title - well maybe not that, but no win over FSU and Florida = GONE
Phil Fulmer - No SEC Title......Well, maybe not that - but no Bowl = GONE

As a man named Meatloaf once sang. ---- 2 out of three ain’t bad……

Till next Season,

MMQ